


HABITAT

by BruisedBloodyBroken



Series: HABITAT [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hunter Dean Winchester, M/M, Other, Psychic Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:40:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 53,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29137212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BruisedBloodyBroken/pseuds/BruisedBloodyBroken
Summary: ***Partly Beta'd*** AU - Dean 29 is a hunter, Sam 26 (psychic abilities like in the show, just a little extended) gets sold on an auction(monster-black-market). Dean "wins" him instead of a hunters-journal he would've needed desperately ... The young man turns his life upside down. love!story hurt!sam implied!torture!rape caring!dean awesome!bobby including!cas unrelated!wincestprequel to BAD TO THE BONE
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: HABITAT [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145762
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	HABITAT

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on fanfictionDOTnet

Title: **Habitat**  
Category: TV Shows » Supernatural  
Author: BruisedBloodyBroken  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance  
Published: 11-27-13, Updated: 12-16-13  
Chapters: 19, Words: 57,885

* * *

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

* * *

** HABITAT **

ok, ladies & gents, _i had this idea_ somewhere in the back of my mind … and since i finished my last story, i thought hard about it … really hard, since it's _definitely_ **AU** … and i actually thought my last story will be my LAST STORY …

 **thing is** … i thought about, WHAT IF … what if Anna was some kind of successfull (in another dimension), as she traveled back in time, and it wasn't about killing Mary & John, but instead she was planning _something_ else?

What if Sam was never born? What if, after Yellow Eyes killed John on the Cemetery, after Jake unlocked the gate of hell (all hell breaks loose)? What if …... their reality was completely different because Anna gave Mary suggestions to avoid the deal with Yellow Eyes, but manipulated things, so Mary got killed before she could get pregnant with Sam? What if Anna betrayed Mary and let the Yellow Eyed know, that Deans mum was about to break the deal?

_... and he would have killed her anyway, wouldn't he?_

What if Sams soul had to find his destiny in another family?

* * *

_ Prologue _

_and that's where our Story starts …... and let me explain the basics: :)_

Sam was never born … at least not as Johns & Marys son, but let me tell you guys: His soul found his way down on earth. So, Dean was their only child. When he was 3 years old, his mother died in a housefire. Wich got inflicted by a Yellow Eyed Demon called Azazel, as Mary tried to break her deal with him.

At this point, John changed and became a hunter. Always on the Road with his son.

_Hunting Things, Saving People, The family business._

Dean spent most of his toddler-years with Bobby Singer, an old friend of John, on his salvage. That's where the younger Winchester developed his love for muscle cars. Later, when he was old enough, Bobby and John showed him how to defend himself from monsters and creatures. When he seemed ready, John took Dean with him, showing him how to hunt the creatures in the dark. Dean was a natural, like he was _born for this._

Then there were rumors among the hunters… _about children_ … **kids** , special kids. Kids that had _special_ abilities, **DANGEROUS** abilities. This was, when Dean began to question, if this was all right, and at some point he doupted, that he wanted to be a hunter anymore. But he trusted his father, and he trusted Bobby even more.

It was, when he just had turned 18, that he listened to a fight between the two most stubborn men he know. Bobby and John. It was about the kids … Dean knew that his Dad and a couple of other hunters had a plan, but John refused about telling his own son what was going on. But then came the night, when Dean wanted to go downstairs to steal one of uncle Bobbys beers, and he had the chance to hear what his fathers plans were.

The young man swallowed hard on the words of his father. His guts turned upside down and he went pale, sitting on the stairs in Bobbys house, _listening to all this … it made him sick to the bone._

This kids might've been poisoned with demonblood. But it didn't mean they were evil .. it didn't mean, that they weren't human … Dean was shure about it … these were just kids, they didn't have a choice. They didn't get asked about all of this. And Dean knew what would come very soon. His dad had worked on a way to track them all down. Find most of them … though it wasn't a sure thing, that they would find them all, and Dean was glad about it.

„John – you can't just walk out there, and kill innocent children!" Bobby nearly screamed and seemed to be all about to punch the old man in the face. „They didn't get asked for this. - Just because they're tainted with .. whatever the hell this is … it doesn't mean that they're dangerous, man. - This kids have _families_ , they have _friends_. - You guys can't just go out there and slaughter them. They are _humans_ after all" Bobby tried hard to gain his control back over his voice. „ _HUMANS_ , john. We are supposed to **protect** them, not to kill them."

„You think i don't know that? You think this is easy? - I've a kid myself, Robert. - But we can't stand beside and watch one kid after another falling for this demon. - I found a way to track them down, _electric storm, weathers, all of this._ \- it's pretty simple … and … we can be shure about it. We can save the world from whatever this demon has planned, **if** we're fast enough. **If** we do it, _before it's too late_." John was panting, he sounded so confinced about his plan, it nearly broke Deans heart _…_ **it were just kids …**

„It won't even hurt them, Robert. - Pastor Jim made up a poison. It's fast and painless. They will not even regocnize what hit them. - We don't want to make them suffer, Robert. We just want to stop the Yellow Eyed plans.", John frowned, looking at Bobby like he was waiting for absolution and forgiveness.

„ **No** , John. - I won't help either of you to kill children. - i won't … there has to be another way, and you know it." Bobby turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose. „What about _Dean_?", he asked after a few seconds of silence.

„Dean? - I haven't told him yet." John hesitated. „But i will, and he will understand how important this is."

Bobby sighed. „Your're making a misstake, old man. - Just don't pull Dean with you in this mess. - Let him stay here." He turned around to face John. „He won't like that."

John just shook his head. „I can't. He has to understand _why_ this is important."

This was the last time for a long time, that Dean had seen the Salvage, and he still wished, he had stayed there with Bobby. Far away from the murdering and the realization and the fact some hunters weren't that „ _human_ " reached both Winchesters pretty fast.

The information about these kids cought like a wildfire in the wind, and so it happened, that some hunters didn't just kill the kids. They slaughtered them, sometimes their whole families and worse. Some tortured the children, hoping that they knew something about the plans the Yellow Eyed had.

 _The things_ Dean saw … _the things_ he got told from other hunters … _the things_ his Dad said to him. It was too much to bear. Dean left his Dad when he was 26. Splitting up was the only possibility he wouldn't kill the old man for his point of few. He returned to Singers Salvage, looking for shelter. John had left him the Impala … the one thing that didn't change was this car. _His baby._ All these years … one of his only steady friends … _and his one big love so far._

A year later Dean managed to kill the Yellow Eyed, after the demon had killed his father for retribution. But they were too late. One of the psychic kids, that surprisingly avoided to be found years ago, had opened a gate to hell, and let out a whole lot of evil spawn … That was when a second wave of „accidents" and „disappearings" started. All of those kids were about 24 years old … and some of them were looking for help of course (when they realized, something was changing them). Healers, wiccans and psychiatrists … that's where the hunters found the needed informations to track them down and get a hold of the rest of them …

 _So yeah_ , Dean hated it. He _hated_ all about it. He hated his dead father for leaving him so soon and leaving him behind with all this mess. _Hated_ the other hunters for just seeing black and white. And he _hated_ himself even more, for being part of it all. For all the blood he had on his own hands. It felt like yesterday, that he saw the barely 15 year old boy, tied down to a chair … _blood_ everywhere; the kid _barely alife_. And his father made him _end it_. His own father wanted him to kill the boy, a boy that could've been his _brother_ , his _cousin_ … **family**.

He hated the hunter who had done this to the kid. Whose fault it was in the first place, that his dad made him kill the boy. An innocent kid, not even aware of being a _monster_ yet. Dean asked himself, all these years ago, _when did everything started to go so damn wrong?_

_…... to be continued_

* * *

* * *

**Chapter 2 ~ New Shores**

Now Dean was 29, turning 30 next month. He had a small cabin behind Bobby's house, for when he stopped by after or before a hunt. Or just to relax a couple of days. Besides the impala, this became some kind of home for him.

Dean sat on the half rotten couch in front of the tv, a bottle beer in his left hand and a burger in front of him on the table. He had returned from a werewolf hunt two states over, and was glad to be back in his cabin. He booted his laptop, since he had to find out a couple of things before he would have to visit a couple of morgues tonight. Better said: _breaking in the morgues …_

There was a rumour about a hunters journal, in the hands of some kind of dealer. Lets say a Supernatural-Dealer. There were also rumours about some kind auction, that would start in a couple of days, where they would sell the journal. Dean knew this kind of auctions wouldn't request a lot of money … it requested a lot of _other stuff_ …. and the demon he had captured a week ago , had told him what the auctioneer prefered.

So there was only one chance to get his hands onto the journal: either he was killing virgins for their hearts, and their blood, OR he would visit the morgues and hospitals around. Of course he had help on this task … Ellen, Bobby and Jo were awesome friends, who had already organized seven hearts, and a good litre dead virgins blood. No one of them was interested in seeing a hunters journal in the hands of some creature, since no-one exactly knew whose it was, and what was captured in it. But … like the rumour said: It was a special Journal. Special, because it held the information of _HOW TO TRACK DOWN LILITH_ , and, HOW TO SUMMON that bitch.

Dean ran his hands thru his short hair and himself comfortable in front of the notebook. A small smile forming on his face, when he saw his mail-inbox. _Coordinates_. The Reaper whose life he had saved years ago, had organized a invitation for the odd event they called an auction, including the rules … _Rules_ … as if anyone of those bastards would follow rules … but there were rules … better said: just one rule.

 _no weapons_ (what meant any kind of weapons. human, supernatural or psychic powers)

Dean wouldn't have a choice. Besides … he _needed_ that journal, he _WANTED_ that journal, since it seemed to be the only way to get a hold of the demonic bitch they were looking for. And on top of it all – not just saving the world from some kind of apocalyptic mess – he would be able to stop that son of a bitch from freeing lucifer.

* * *

_Three days later …_

Dean and Bobby finally arrived in the small outbursts of a no-name-city outside of Great Falls, Montana. Nothing but woods and more woods. It was later that morning, when they checked in a no-name-crap motel, that fit into this no-name-crap town perfectly. They decided to get a couple of hours rest, before the fun could start.

Dean sat the cooling tray on the floor, beside his bed, and placed his duffel-bag on the end of his sleeping place, before he exchanged a thoughtful look with the older hunter. „I hope this will work, and we'll be out of there before they are checking out what's going on.", the younger man mumbled, when he threw himself on the bed, and stretched his body.

„Your Idea, your plan, kiddo." Bobby grinned. „Hopefully you're right and they're taking some time before the check on the payments. - otherwise we're pretty screwed."

Dean chuckled. „You're gettin' too old for this kinda shit, don't ya?"

„Shut up, Idjit!", Bobby replied and shot Dean a threatening look. „Don't forget to who you're talking to."

* * *

Dean pulled the impala into a parking lot in front of an abandoned ware house on the outskirts of the city. He swallowed hard before he disarmed himself. He had still the choice: Going in there and trading with a bunch of monsters, or backing off and looking for another way to get what he intended to claim as his so badly. Dean decided that he couldn't let this chance slip thru his fingers. He had to get it, _no matter what_.

The door on the passenger's side slid shut, and Bobby stretched his body with a deep moan.

„So … You're shure about this?", he asked and put on his cap.

The younger man nodded and took a deep breath.

The old warehouse was warded with sigils and signs on the outside, probably to make shure, that whoever joined the auction, wouldn't be able to use his abilities to screw up. That fact made him a little bit easier and he actually felt to feel safer without his weapons.

Inside of the ware house was already a crowd of …. _well_ … a crowd of _everything_ possible Dean could think of. Most of them _looked_ human, but he knew that he and Bobby would be probably the only human beings in there. Then he started to recognize, that all the _ITEMS_ were displayed. Knifes, Weapons, Books, Statues and some weird looking stuff, Dean had never seen before in his life.

Bobby followed him calmly thru the crowd, obviously pretty nervous about the fact that they were surrounded by creatures they were supposed to hunt. And the fact, that he and Dean were the only hunters in here ... it was like all these … _monsters_ … sensed them, shoot them uncomfortable looks and glazed at them, as they were _the plague_.

Half an hour later the auction started off. Everyone sat down on one of the chairs, that were settled like in any other auction. In the front of the room a low podium with something like the auctioneer's lectern and behind the podium a heavy metal door, wich creaked with a high noise, when it got shoved to the side, and the auctioneer finally decided to enter the stage.

A big guy, with a disgusting smirk. His eyes changed from the dark brown into a white-silver for a couple of seconds …. **shapeshifter**. And Dean wanted to grab instinctively for his silver knife, wich he would've usually worn.

_But not here._

_Not today._

The shifter grinned and clapped his hands together, before he shoved them into the bags of his suit trousers. He placed a coin on the lectern before him, and watched the crowed for a couple of seconds. , The auctioneer cleared his throat when the murmur stopped and everyone went calm, to look at the shifter.

Then a couple of other guys came out behind the metal door, and closed again. Four of them placed themselves into the corners of the room and two others took place to the left and right side of the podium. _Wards_. Thrilling.

A knot built deep down in the hunters throats. Never in their live they felt that vulnerable and exposed to any kind of creature.

The first few items were spell-books, a necronomicon, a brass-knife and something that looked like a fabergee-egg, but seemed to be a warded-box. Dean was tense, he was a freaking statue … someone could've snap a nickle from his muscles. The further the auction went on, the more strained the hunters got. They set there for about an hour already, and still … _no sign from the journal._

Then the metal door slid open, and two big built guys came out. Heavy iron chains in their hands, guiding something … or _someone_ out of the room and up to the podium beside the auctioneer. The auctioneer's eyes lid up, and then he straightened, obviously blessed about the crowds marveled reaction, when the men stepped aside and showed the figure behind them. _A young man_. The chains were attached to heavy iron-cuffs on his wrists and a collar on his neck. Obviously the poor guy wore them for some time. The iron cut deep into his skin, leaving bad looking bloody wounds and bruises. Surely the kid wasn't older than 25 and definitely higher than Dean. Shaggy hair and dirty – dirtly like _dried-blood-dirty_ – clothes hang down on the beaten body. The boy looked thru his long strains of hair, catching Dean's look in a short glance, before he stared back to the ground.

The man was shivering, and flinched every time, the wards pulled or poked on the chains, so the cuffs moved on his raw skin.

„ _Balls_ " Bobby hissed quietly and straightened in his chair.

„What the hell?" Dean swallowed down a curse and stiffed. „ _Is this -_ " he hesitated.

„A _human_?" the older hunter ended his friends question. „I think so ..."

„We have a special item today, folks and _friends_." the auctioneer began with a triumphantly smile. „One of Azazel's Children." The auctioneer was waiting when another round of mumbling ended, „he was with hunters, when he had been found. - young, healthy, _obedient_ , easy to be handled, and owns the ability to _expel demons_ ..." the man explained. „maybe even _angels_ … wo knows?"

The moment the shifter ended, Dean recognized a couple of eyes flashing black.

„ _Let the offers start!_ ", the disgusting man called out with a cheery smile.

„What do we do now?", Bobby asked, obviously trying hard not to panic.

The first furious bids were up. It was like a giant exchange-central. It was like nearly everyone in this room _wanted_ the kid … wanted him for _WHAT_ he was.

The auctioneer's hammer slammed against the lectern. „to the first!" he called out and waited. He seemed pretty pleased about the bids that gone off for the kid. „to the second!"

„Twelfe virgins hearts! And four bottles of dead virgins blood!" The room went silent. All eyes on the young hunter in the third row, in the middle. He didn't even look around, just stared at the auctioneer with a deathly look. Bobby shot Dean a proud gaze, like he wanted to say: _That's my boy._

The auctioneer was waiting some long seconds, before he called out „to the third. - the _item_ goes to the bidder in the third row!"

The event took another two hours, before the auctioneer called out, that everyone could pick up their items now. Of course the five left virgins-hearts didn't reach out to get the journal …

Bobby and Dean were waiting until most of these … _creatures_ … had picked up their items, before they headed back thru the metal door, behind the podium, wich lead into a long corridor with several doors. In front of one of them stood a giant guy, muscles all over, who nodded, when both arrived in front of him.

„Pick up your item and leave the payment here. I'll check on it, and if it is OK, you can leave." The man opened the heavy iron door.

The room behind it was dark, since it was already night, and just a faint brush of moonlight entered thru the pretty damn small window in the upper left corner. Bobby stopped in front of the door and handled a plastic bag with the hearts and the blood bottles to the big guy.

Dean tried to make anything out in the darkness. „C'mon, kiddo. Lets go." his voice rough and forceful his fathers was.

Something moved on the floor in the corner to his left. It was too dark to see anything. He heard chains scrub and Dean squat down. „come on. Lets get you out of here." He tried to sound less like his dad this time.

„Yes, Master." came a shaky voice and Dean froze.

Dean was actually pissed a little bit that he didn't get the journal … now he had to hunt that demon-bitch down, who won it. And the payment was gone … though it saved a life, _he knew_ … but what the journal in the hands of a demon could become … he didn't want to think about it at this moment.

„Are you hurt?", the younger hunter asked concerned. Then he turned around to the ward and Bobby. „Where are the keys?", he asked.

The ward tossed him the keys, and dean caught them. „Ok, kid. I'm not gonna hurt you. I am going to unlock the cuffs, OK?" Deans heart felt heavy and it pound against his chest.

The young man crawled forth, where Dean was able to see him, at least as good as possible, and freed the young man from his boundaries.

„Are you hurt?", Dean asked again, checking over the young mans body with his look.

„No, Master.", the kid answered, not daring to look up.

„OK. Can you move?", his voice still sounded pretty rough in his own ears.

The kid flinched. „Yes, i think i can move, Master." and the boy got up, and swayed, before his knees gave out, and Dean just caught him in time, before he could hit the ground.

„It's OK, i got you, kiddo. It's OK." Dean put one of the mans arms around his shoulder and his own around his waist. Though it was more like he carried the guy, instead of helped him. When they reached the door, he shot the ward a glaring look. „I thought he's healthy?", he couldn't swallow his anger down.

„He is." The ward grinned maliciously. „Give him something to eat and some water and a patch-up, and he's back to normal again."

It was like the boy sensed Deans annoyance and flinched, tried to get more weight on his own feet. „It's ok, kid. You're Save." Dean tightened his grip. „You're save. Just try and take it slow. Nice and easy." The kid shivered, when the warmth of Deans embrace oozed thru the thin fabric of his torn clothes.

Bobby took the boys other side and together they carried the half-conscious man to the impala, where Dean leaned him against the passenger's side. While Bobby steadied the young man, Dean slipped out of his leather jacket and threw it around the freezing man.

„What's your name?" Dean laid his hand on the mans chin and guided it up, so he could see his eyes. The boy flinched to the touch and pulled the heavy jacket tighter around his shoulders.

„Sam" the young mans green hazel-eyes were glistening and Dean saw the moisture of dried tears on his cheeks.

„I'm Dean, _Sam_." Tried to ignore the young mans distress and smiled gently. „We'll take care of you, if that's okay?"

Sam nodded and swallowed down a sob. Yeah, he knew what „ _taking care of him_ " meant.

Bobby rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath. „Better you sit in the front seat, kid. - These long legs won't fit in the backseat anyways" and he stepped back.

Dean let the young man lean against him, one arm around his back, and opened the passenger's door, to let him slid inside. Then he helped him to store his long legs inside and shut the door.

„We can't take him into the ER." Bobby stated, as soon as the door closed. „Too many questions."

The younger hunter nodded and let his fingers run thru his hair. „Besides, these guys in there didn't seemed very pleased about losing the auction. - We'll take him to the motel and check him over. He'll need new clothes, and maybe there's some family out there, who can take care of him."

Bobby's and-if-not?-look got pretty much ignored by Dean.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 3 ~ Another Hell?**

Back in town and on the parking lot of the no-name-crap-hole-motel, the hunters took care that no one would see them, when they took Sam inside their room. Dean was never more relieved that he picked a room at the end of the passage.

The young man tried to help to get his feet under his body, and take some of his own weight, but the past couple of days without food and barelly water were taking its tall on him. The hunters helped him on the bed, furthest from the door.

„Sorry" Sam murmured, as the man eased him down.

„Nothing to be sorry for, Sam." the younger hunter's soft voice reassured him. Dean kneeled down in front of him, cupping the mans face in his hand. „Look at me, Sam"

Green hazel-eyes met his. Full of fear and pain, nearly panicking … _this is just going to become another hell._

„You gotta believe me this, OK?" the younger hunter whispered and Sam nodded. „You're _save_. No one is gonna hurt you anymore."

Sam nodded again, but he didn't believe him. He always got hurt. One way or another .. it was always _him_ who paid the price. „ _Hunters?_ " he asked, staring in Deans emerald-green eyes. Sams mind screaming silent prayers, that this wasn't true. That this wasn't going to to be the same hell as it was before.

„Yeah." Dean answered, while his mind tried to figure out how to show Sam that they weren't a threat for him, that he and Bobby didn't even think about hurting him.

Sam looked up on the older of the both men, tears filling his eyes again. It was all too similar. _Traveling the road with two hunters._ Like it was years ago, when they took him. First they were nice, _and then,_ when they decided he wasn't worth it anymore, the horror began.

„Dean is right. We won't hurt you." Bobby looked at him, then he squat down. „We're taking you back to your family, OK?"

„No." Sam shook his head.

„No?", Dean asked confused. „You can't stay here ..."

„They're dead, Sir.", Sam answered and his look went back to the man in front of him. „They are all _dead_."

Dean closed his eyes for a brief moment, letting all his emotions settle, before he looked back into the younger man's eyes. „We'll talk about it later. - _First_ : We've to check on your injuries, and get you some new clothes."

 _No_ …. why didn't they just use him as bait? … He didn't want _it_ to start all over again … he couldn't _do_ **this** all over again. On the other hand: These men surely didn't go on a market like this to buy themselves some kind of bait ...

„OK, Sam.", Dean got up and patted on his lower leg, what caused another flinch.

Both hunters shared a concerned look. They _knew_ , what had happened years ago to children like him. Both hunters _knew_ , that some people who were looking for them haven't got as much mercy as others … like **just** _killing them_. Some hunters were damn cruel bastards and used the kids for worse things than bait. _Yeah_ there were worse things than ending as bait for wendigos, werewolves and vampires …

„Bobby's going to get you some new clothes, and i'll help you to get cleaned up." Dean added a deep sigh, not shure what he should say and how i was supposed to act around the young man. Sam was already frightened enough ...

The older hunter just nodded, grabbed his duffel-bag and left the motel room, like he was on the run. The kid looked pretty harmless, but the older hunter also knew that some of his kids were damn _dangerous_ bastards… even if it was just in case of self-defense.

„Come on, Sasquatch." Dean helped his won _Item_ up, and slipped one arm under his shoulder. Even if the man seemed to be younger, he definitely was taller than him. About good 4 inches. Though he wasn't as heavy as Dean had thought … _gladly_.

Arrived in the bathroom, the hunter guided Sam down on the toilet, before he tried to choose a comfortable warmth of the water, that slowly filled the bathtub.

„There we go, kiddo. - Get yourself undressed, and i'll be back in five.", Dean said and hurried outside, giving Sam a thoughtful glance.

Sam waited until the door closed behind the hunter, and started to unbutton his shirt with shaky hands and fingers, pressing down a sob. He knew it would end like it did before. These men were _hunters_ after all. Probably he would've been better along with any kind of monster or witches. Sam had the bad feeling, that humans were the worst creatures on gods earth. _Erratic and Evil. Cruel to everything they weren't able to explain._

Like promised, the hunter got back within five minutes, and Sam wasn't even half way down with the buttons on his shirt. He froze instantly and his head sank further forward, sealing his look with the gag-green tiles on the floor. His hands started to shake even more and he jerked, when the bathroom door slid into the lock. His breath went faster and he swallowed another sob. Sam knew, that might as well, he had to - at least - try and please these men. _It might won't get half bad then._

„You need help?", Dean asked, and put a bottle of antiseptic on the stacker of the sink.

„No, Sir.", Sam whispered and closed his eyes. He had to pull himself together, if he doesn't wanted to mess this all up within a couple of hours.

That's when Dean forced his look down on the man and a deep frown built up on his forehead. He was watching the shivering form with a slight side of worry crossing his face. Sam obviously tried to make himself even smaller, like he wanted to vanish right here and now from the face of earth. Dean squat down and put a hand on Sams shoulder, what caused a fearful twitch.

„ _Shhh_ … Everything's OK. - Just let me help you, OK?" Dean rubbed with his thumb on the thin fabric of the saturated shirt, and gave the younger man a couple of minutes to calm down. „I told you, we won't hurt you."

Sam didn't even bother to look up. He nodded and fumbled with more trembling hands to unbutton the next one, until Dean put a hand on his to stop him.

„Let me do this for you, Sam." The way Dean said his name sounded so warm and comforting. Like he meant everything he had said and would say. Everything about this mans voice felt warm and caring … _at least at the moment_. And … _oh god_ … Sam knew how fast this could change.

„I'm gonna help you out of these, and then you'll take a bath." … _because you stink_ … Dean set up an easy smile and helped the young man out of his clothes. It was a horrible sight. Who ever had _owned_ this boy before … they didn't bother to take care of him. Probably threatened him like an animal or _worse_. Old scars and new ones, fresh bruises, for shure not older than a couple of days … and bullet wounds – old bullet wounds but still bullet wounds, wich looked like someone had burned them out, instead of sewing his injuries up. Dean poured about half the bottle of the antiseptic into the bathtub and helped the man in, letting him slowly sink into the steaming water.

Not to mention the rest of his condition. No wonder the looked so pale and weak and was unsteady on his legs … _they must've let him starve for days every now and then_.

„Too hot?" Dean asked concerned, when the young man hissed and signs of pain crossed his features.

Sam shook his head. Not that he dared to turn down what the hunter had offered him. The man let him take a bath. Sam didn't remember when he had his last _real bath_ , or shower, not counting the involuntarily „ _showers and/or baths_ " he was _allowed_ to have.

The hot water with the antiseptic burned in the wounds on his wrists and on his neck, actually it burned it every single gash, but he swallowed the pain down, like he was supposed to do.

„Guess i can leave ya alone for a couple of minutes?" Dean asked frowning. „Or do you want me to stay?"

Sam shook his head, and the other man left him soaking in the tub. In the meantime Dean worked thru his duffel-bag for a pair of fresh pants for the young man, so that he wouldn't have to stay naked and uncomfortable until Bobby came back from his shopping tour … _hopefully with fitting clothes_. Dean hesitated to enter the bathroom again, so he skipped the boxers into the sink from where he stood at the door, and closed it until it was leaned on in a crack.

„Call me, if you need anything" the hunter called out and went to the mini-fridge to get himself a cold beer, before he sat down on his bed and checked his watch. It was almost nine p.m. Would they've followed their plan, they have had hit the road an hour ago, and were already an their way back home. _NOW_ things were different. They couldn't drag the kid in this condition across two states. Not for 13 hours streight, even if they would make a couple of breaks. The cuts looked like they hurt like a bitch, not mentioning the bruises on the man's torso. Someone must've used the kid as a punching ball. How could someone even think about doing this to someone or even something? Dean couldn't stand it … it dragged him right back into his past, when his father pressed the knife in his hands, and wanted him to kill _the kid_ …

And he did as he was told, because these kids were **dangerous** after all. Now he knew that his father was wrong. _He_ was wrong. The hunter who had done this to this kid was _wrong_ … that's why he returned two nights later into the cabin in the woods, to end THIS hunters life. And Dean wasn't a cold-hearted bastard ... _he_ had mercy … he didn't let the old man suffer, like he had made suffer the poor child … another look on his watch.

 _Ten minutes_ , then he would get Sam out of the water, helping him to dry himself off, and putting him into one of the beds, until Bobby would be back with clothes and hopefully something to eat. Dean was already starving to death and the young man probably too. He could hear Sam moving, when the water spilled over the edge and came down over the tiles. A small whimper was audible and then everything went silent inside.

Dean froze, as his hunter's senses kicked in … „You OK?" he called out and listened, caught himself as he held up his breath.

„Yes", the answer came hesitating.

Dean relaxed and exhaled, taking another zip from his beer. „Five minutes, then i'm comin'" he said, more to himself, but got an instead answer from the bathroom: „Yes Master"

Who the heck had tought the boy to call people _Master_. - _„Sick bastards"_ he cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out what they were supposed to do with the man, after they were back at the salvage.

* * *

Half an hour later, Sam was out of the tub, wore Deans clean boxers and laid covered up in bed, after the hunter had taken care of the mans wounds. Sam haven't shown any signs of pain, when he patched him up ... like he was _used to_ this ...

When the motel-room-door opened, the young man flinched and curled up tighter on his side under the covers. Dean looked up and greeted the older man with a nod and a light smile. „Got everything?"

Bobby's gazed at the bulk on the bed. „I got sweatpants, boxers, two shirts and a hoody for our new friend. - Burgers, soup, beer, gatorade and coke."

Dean nodded. „Awesome" he said, took the bag with the new clothes and moved over to Sams bed. He got on his knees beside him and watched the steady rise and fall of the covers.

„Sam?" he asked quietly and pulled the covers back a bit, ignoring a fearful twitch. „Sit up – Bobby brought some clothes for ya and something to eat."

Sam did as he was told, and waited until the younger hunter unpacked black and dark-gray fabric and Dean handed him the bunch of new clothes. „Get dressed, Sam. Then we'll eat something."

„Yes Sir.", came a shaky respond.

Dean sighed. „You don't have to call me that, you know?"

„Yes …" … the young man answered.

„Just Dean, OK? .. just call me Dean. - and his name's Bobby." he pointed at the older man, who stood by the table, and Sam shot him a fearful glance across the room.

The young man nodded.

As long as he remembered, he had to call these other hunters, „ _Sir_ " or worse: „ **Master** ". Depending on if they were in public or alone. _Public_ … Sam wasn't able to remember when he was the last time in public either, except when he was younger, at the very beginning with these men. When they took him outside to get fresh air, or showing him how to handle a gun. Until he failed and everything changed. When he should've used his abilities but couldn't. Sam _remembered what happiness felt_ – before the life with the hunters came. He remembered _what it felt like to feel save_.

Sam hurried … at least he tried … to get into the new clothes that were given to him.

The hoody was a little bit too large, Dean recognized, but it didn't matter since Sam seemed to be comfortable in the new clothing.

„Thank you, Sir." Sam smiled a little. The Sweatpants and the hoody felt soft and comfortable, and _warm_. Something he haven't felt in a while.

„You're welcome.", Bobby said with a soft smile. „You're comfortable with them?"

Sam nodded and looked up for a second, to meet the older mans glaze. „Yes, Sir."

„Well then. I guess we should all eat something, and then head to bed. - We've to get up early in the mornin'." Bobby stated, before he took a seat on the small table.

Dean helped the younger man up and guided him over to the desk, where he guided him into one of the chairs. A feeling of discomfort spread in the younger mans mind and body … he wasn't used to sit by a table. The last years he spent mostly _on the floor ..._ where he actually thought, that he belonged. Eating, sleeping, or whatever. The last couple of months he was glad when he got at least something to eat, and when he was allowed to leave the basement once a day. Sometimes he spent more then a few days down there, until they had another hunt, where they took him as bait, or worse: _when he had to kill demons._

Dean unpacked two burgers and french fries, putting one of them in front of Sam and kept one for himself. The younger hunter unclasped the gatorade for Sam and placed it in front of him.

… _Still_ … it felt uncomfortable for Sam. He wasn't used to share the same status with other people ... _with other hunters._

„It's OK. You can eat. You must be starving, Sam." Deans warm voice dragged him out of his thoughts and he started to eat. Slow and hesitating. „I want you to empty the bottle" he pointed at the gatorade, „before you go to sleep, kiddo." Dean smiled softly … trying to convince Sam that they wouldn't even try to treat him like the men with whom he was before. He knew it would take a whole lot more, but what was the point if he didn't try and start with it now?

„You both will take the beds, i'm gonna take the chairs." Dean smiled at Sam and stuffed another couple of french fries in his mouth.

„Don't be stupid boy. You wanna drive the whole day tomorrow? - You need proper sleep." Bobby stated, „I'm gonna take the chairs."

„You're old and grumpy. I can't stand you, when you're like this. when you're not gettin' enough sleep, old man." Dean shot back and grinned sassy.

Sam swallowed down his last bite. „ _Please_." it was more like a whisper. „Please let me take the chair? I'd be fine with this." He looked up, changing looks with the two hunters, who gave him irritated looks.

„You can't sleep in a chair, Sam.", Bobby gave back awkwardly.

„You're hurt. Your ribs are bruised. And you need rest. - and we've a 14 hours drive in front of us tomorrow. - There's no way you're gonna sleep in a chair." Dean added with a deep frown on his forehead.

„I … - I ..." Sam stuttered. „ _Please_. - I'll take the floor, i don't need a bed, Sir." Probably this all was just a show, to make him friable for whatever they had planned for him. Tender for whatever game they were playing. He didn't even know what for? They already had him. They didn't need to be _nice_. Though ... the thought, that someone saw more in him, than just a _freak_ , a _monster_ was pleasant …

„Damn it, Sam. _NO_ " Dean rose his voice and slammed his fist on the table. „One of us is gonna take another room." It was that simple, though he didn't like the idea since they were much more vulnerable then. Specially now, and with this kind of _Item, won on a supernatural-auction_ … Some of these creatures would've wanted him too and some of them would probably go after the three of them.

„That's a stupid discussion, you know that, idjits?" Bobby frowned. „We won't split up. - If someone of them is comin' for the boy, they probably won't come alone. No splittin' up."

Obviously the hunters didn't want to attract attention … that's why they were nice to him. Of course, the way Sam looked like and the condition in wich he was … they wouldn't take him outside a lot … It turned his gut upside down, when he thought about what this guys might do to him, when they'll arrive at _their_ _home_. Another _basement, chains … boundaries_. Sam gulped down, when tears started to sting in his eyes … it would all happen again, _there was no glimpse of hope left for something like him._

Dean sighed, when he realized that the young man fought with his tears again. „I'm sorry, Sam. - We just weren't prepared for this. - We … _I_ wasn't prepared for this." and placed a hand on Sam's forearm. „Everything's going to be OK."

After cleaning up their mess, they went to bed ...

Sam in one bed, Dean in the other, and Bobby spread across two chairs.

_... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 4 ~ Home Sweet Home**

It was still dark outside, when Dean woke up. The smell or scrambled eggs, bacon, waffles, syrup, and coffee encouraged him to get his butt out of bed. The young hunter rolled on his back, squeezing his eyes shut one more time and stretching his body with a low moan. Before he could even think about breakfast he had to get that sand-paper-feeling out of his mouth … _what meant bathroom_ … and he was way too tired.

„Hey, sleeping beauty. - Get your ass up, we need to move." Bobby tossed Deans packed up duffel on his legs.

Dean grunted in respond and shoved the bag from himself, throwing a look on the other bed. Sam was still fast asleep and Bobby wasn't even silent. Sam had to be exhausted as hell … _damn it_ , the guy on the bed beside him had probably been literally to hell. The scars on the young mans body proofed his past like nothing else. He let out another grunt before he swung his legs out of the bed and made his way into the bathroom.

When Dean was done, he shot another look over to the other bed. As sorry as he felt, he had to wake the kid. They had to get as many miles between this town and themselves as possible, as fast as possible. But not without breakfast and _coffee_.

„Would you?", Bobby asked and pointed at the sleeping male.

Dean nodded with a sigh and went around the other bed, taking a seat on it. „Sam?" he started softly, hopefully not freaking the man out. „Sam. - c'mon, wake up." The bulk under the covers stirred, and then froze. „everything's all right." He put his hand on the bulge and started to brush gently over the place, where Sams back had to be. „time to get up."

Shaggy hair and green hazel-eyes emerged from under the covers, and the young man blinked at the Winchester bemused. „If you've to visit the toilet, you should go now. Trust me, you don't wanna go there anymore, when Bobby once made his visit int he bathroom." He shot the older hunter a cheeky grin and earned a grumpy murmur for it. „We'll prepair breakfast and you do ... whatever you do in the bathroom" Dean stood up, and waited for the young man to get his feet out under the covers. When he helped Sam up, he felt the young man swayed, and quickly tightened the grip on his arm. "You OK?" Dean frowned at the younger man.

Sam just nodded again, and let Dean lead him to the bathroom door. "Think you can handle it on your own from now on?", Dean asked and gave him a light smile.

„He looks better." Bobby glared at his friend, when the door squeezed shut behind Sam. „You know that we can't give him anywhere now. - He won't be save, no matter where we put him. No matter under what alias."

Dean sighed and shot him a knowing look. „So … what do _you_ suggest?"

„I don't know, kiddo. - I thought we might as well take him with us. And he can stay at my house. I could take care of him. The Salvage is save. He'd knows me, and he'd knows you. - Maybe he's interested in cars. He could help there too if he wants to. - If he's up for it though." Bobby paused. „They would just put him in a locked down ward or somethin'. That ain't good and doesn't help anyone."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. „Don't say the kid grew on you already? That fast, Bobby?"

„Idjit." and a sloppy grin was all he got for an answer.

* * *

An hour later they were on their way back to South Dakota. Dean behind the wheel, Sam on the drivers seat - curled up and staring out of the window - and Bobby in the backseat taking a nap. Dean couldn't help but look over at the young man from time to time. The little guy - who actually wasn't that little - seemed to get paler with every milestone they passed.

„Sam. You OK?", Dean asked and took another look at the young man.

„Yes Sir." he answered, unsure what his new _Master_ wanted to hear exactly.

„You want to take a break?" it wasn't that Dean wanted to pause, but Sam looked like he needed one.

Sam looked up for a moment, „No, thank you, Sir.", before his mind pulled him back into the darkness of his thoughts.

Dean grunted. „Tell me if you need something."

„Yes Sir.", came nearly automatically.

_Yeah, this would get a damn long ride until they would reach Singers Salvage._

* * *

It was darkest night when they finally reached the Salvage. Sam had fallen asleep in the passenger's seat about after their lunch. Dean picked the drive by, since the bruised marks from Sams collar would cause too much attention. A young man in his condition and these marks, in company of two like he and Bobby were … seemed probably suspicious enough for someone to call the police.

Dean pulled off the street, when they finally reached the salvage and stopped just a few yards from the porch away. He was glazing at Sam with a little smile. Glad that he had fallen asleep beside him. So far so good ... they were back at home, now they'd have to deal with the hard stuff Dean hoped that never would come.

„You awake, Bobby?" the younger hunter asked low.

„Of course i am.", the older man responded grumpy.

„I'll take him with me to the cabin." Dean stated. „Breakfast together tomorrow?" He looked into the rearview and earned a short nod. „Awesome. - We'll come around then."

Bobby nodded again, murmuring something a bout _old men_ and _duffel-bags_.

„And thanks for everything, Bobby." He said with a grateful look.

„Don't mention it" Bobby nodded with a short concerned glance at the man on the passenger's seat.

Dean waited until his friend had disappeared in the house. Then he watched Sam for a couple of minutes with a small smile on his lips. He would've liked to let Sam resting and sleeping where he was, but Dean knew - given Sams hight - he would be hurting like hell the other morning. Besides the nights were getting colder and the temperature was dropping beyond zero during some nights already.

„Sam. - We're here." he said silent, and the man rose his head and blinked sleepy eyes open, instantly recognizing that both of them were now _alone_ in the car …... _alone._ Fear caught him, and twisted his throat, letting his heart beating up in an erratic drummplay. He looked down on himself, waiting for his new Owner to get out of the car, before he opened his door. Sam followed the hunter - look glued to the icy gravel under him - just a few feet behind the smaller man. Every few steps Sam lurked out behind the dark brown banks that were hanging in his face, to get a look where they were heading. In a small distant to the big house stood a cabin with a small porch on its front. This must've been his masters home ... at least didn't it look, like the cabin had a basement ... _but the house of the older hunter had one for shure_ ...

„There's not a lot fo space. But i think it'll reach out for some time until we find another solution for you." Dean said, and switched on the lights. Just two feet from the entrance away and they already stood in some kind of kitchen-living-room with a couch and a small TV.

„Bedroom is over there", he pointed across the kitchen where a small door was, „and the bathroom's in there too." Dean chuckled. "I know we messed a little bit with the instructions guide."

Sam nodded.

„You'll take the bedroom. I'll camp on the couch." the hunter said next and turned around, to look at the young man, who stood completely lost lost in the doorway to the cabin and, his eyes darting across the place. „It's OK. Come in, Sam."

Sam did as he was told and shut the door behind him, while his new _Master_ stood beside the sink. His look was jumping from the tin in his left hand to the tin in his right hand. „I've not a lot of choice when it comes to food. So i've Chili … or Chili … or Ravioli", he showed both tins in Sams direction. „We could watch TV though if you want?"

Sam nodded. „As you wish, Master."

Dean sighed. „Take a seat, Sam. The couch is old and looks fucked up, but it's the best piece in here besides the bed. Trust me." he sent him a smile, impassively ignoring another _Master._

Sam hesitated for a moment and moved over to the couch. He sat down and curled himself up on it, waiting for the hunter to arrive on his side. It was weird to be with someone he didn't knew in the same room. At least a normal room and not a basement. Having new clothes, and a full tummy … he hadn't got this in months, maybe even years.

A short while later, the smell of hot ravioli in tomato sauce made his way to the part of the place that was meant to be a living room and a couple of minutes later, Dean appeared and sat down beside Sam. Putting one of the full bowls on the small table in front of Sam. „It's hot. - Take care, i don't want you to burn yourself. - And when we're done, i've a look at your wrists and neck, putting on some salve and changing the bandages." Dean shot him a short smile before he stuffed the first spoon of steaming ravioli in his mouth.

Sam nodded again. „Master?", he asked after a while, stirring in his bowl.

„Yeah?" Dean leaned back and looked at Sam, trying to figure out how to deal with this new situation of theirs.

„Bait?", he asked hesitating and looked up in these unbelievable deep green eyes.

Dean frowned. „Sorry?" He nearly choked on a ravioli. "Come again?"

„Am i _bait_?", Sam asked impassively, trying to avoid any kind of eye-contact with Dean.

The Winchester went pale and swallowed before he could choke on another ravioli. „ _Hell no_." he answered and put his bowl away. Actually he didn't feel hungry anymore. „A good hunter doesn't require _bait_."

The corners of Sams lips curled up a little bit. „ _What_ am I?"

Dean sighed. „You're free – more or less." he took a deep breath. „ _Look_ … when you're out there on your own … it ain't save. Anyone will always try to get to you. - So me and Bobby were thinkin' … you could stay here for a while. Of course you can go where you want, _if_ you want. - _But you know what's out there_." Dean lifted his eyebrows and a deep frown built on his forehead.

Sam looked confused in Deans eyes. „But … you _paid_ for me?"

The hunter felt sick to the bones. „ _Yes_ i did." _Oh god ... how was he supposed to handle this?_

„Own me." Sam added silently.

„ _No one_ owns you, Sam." Deans features went sharp, his eyes turned into daggers. „ _No one_ will ever own you. - _You are free._ \- And i want you to stop calling me _Sir_ and **Master**. _I'm not an old man._ Understand?"

Sam nodded again.

„But we can be friends if you want that? - I can show you some stuff … and i can listen, if you wanna talk to someone about something." Dean smiled gently, his features slowly relaxing. „Now _eat_. - I wanna check your wounds before we head to bed."

* * *

Checking on Sams injuries wasn't that much fun … besides the bruises on his ribcage and some of the cuts made the hunter worry. Some of the cuts on the younger mans back started to show signs of a growing inflammatory. Angry red and swollen. But Sam didn't even flinch while Dean poured some of the antiseptic over it, and covered them with new gazes. The only reference that it did hurt showed in the kids eyes; teary and _torture._

Sam was so afraid, so terrified, his eyes filled with pure horror. How could they ever show him, that there was nothing he had to be afraid of? That there was nothing he or Bobby would think about doing to him. Dean wasn't shure, if it was good to have the young man with him in the cabin, since he had planned to get on the next hunt by monday morning. It wouldn't work out great, when he tried to gain his trust, and then leave after a couple of days. It might have been better, if he had left the man with Bobby.

On the other hand … Somehow a twisted feeling about being responsible for Sam - a man he didn't even know - spread in him. **Maybe** because he felt guilty about what he had done to the others _like Sam_. **Maybe** because he wanted to make it up again in some way … **Maybe** he would call Caleb about the wendigo hunt. Shrug it all off for a couple of days or weeks until everything settled, and hopefully no one would look for _Azazel's Child_ anymore ... at least Dean hoped so.

Sam needed someone to look after him … and Dean … _Dean_ needed something or _someone_ he was responsible for. Something _different_ as hunting and wondering about broken Seals and the damn freaking demon he was chasing. Maybe he would just do some research on the damn thing, while Sam got better. And then, when he would be up to it, he'd teach him some stuff, so he wouldn't be a vulnerable mess to everything and everyone.

_... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 5 ~ Nightmares and Comfort**

It was in the middle of the night, like the past two nights since they were back on the Salvage … Sams dreams were haunted by nightmares …

Long after Dean had tugged Sam into the queen size bed, and had settled himself on the couch in front of the TV, it happened the first time …

Sam laid screaming and trashing in his bed, when Dean entered the bedroom. With his knife in one hand and his baretta in the other one. He sat down on the edge of Sams sleeping place, tossed the weapons aside and grabbed the young mans wrists. He tried to shush him and whispered softly spoken words, hoping that it would calm him down. After about what seemed like hours the young man gave in. Either because of exhaustion or because of Deans soothing . . .

The screams had also woken Bobby, who came rumbling into the bedroom - in a pretty nice Pyjama with a whole lot of elks on it, and a sawed off in his hands – to find Dean on the young mans side. Sam laid curled up in the hunters strong arms, heaving deep breaths.

This night was not different. Oh well, it was. Dean was wrecked and exhausted as hell, when he stumbled unarmed and half asleep into the bedroom, to find what he found the other nights before. A completely distressed, disoriented young man, fighting invisible forms above in his sleep.

Dean stood a moment in the doorway and sighed, asking himself how and if he would be able to help Sam on a longer term. He wasn't shure. He wasn't sure – if he, as the Winchester that he was – could handle something like this. It was all about emotions and feeling, and either his father nor Dean were created for any kinds of chick-flick-moments.

He skipped himself from the wall, and went to the bed. First trying to restrain these impossible long arms, before he lowered himself onto the bed. He lowered himself behind Sam and tugged him into a firm hug. „Shshsh … calm down. Everything's alright." It took some minutes, until he younger man was too exhausted to fight Deans grip anymore and stopped to scream. Sams breaths came in harsh panting in and exhales, like he'd run a marathon. „It's OK, Sam." Dean whispered in his ear. „It's all fine. - Shshsh. You're alright. I'm here, i'm gonna look after you." His voice gentle, and a little bit husky, trying to sooth his cabin-mate (or however he should call this). „You're save, Sam. - Noone is gonna hurt you anymore. - Promise."

Sam started to relax slowly, his breath began to calm down and finally he seemed to fall asleep again.

Sam felt a warmth against his back and soft blows on his neck … his body went rigid as he realized that he wasn't all alone his his bed. His heart started to pound against his chest, his breath accelerated … _oh God no_ …... this couldn't be happening, _not again_.

Then the man behind him started to stir, moved a little bit, and Sam caught his breath, not daring to exhale.

That's when Deans eyes flew open in shock. _Damn it_ … he must've been fallen asleep …

Dean wasn't shure if Sam remembered any of the past nights, either the nightmares that haunted him. That was why Dean had sneaked out of the bedroom, when he was shure that Sam was sound asleep again. He didn't want to scare the living hell out of Sam.

But not so this time. Dean was too tired and exhausted, and fell asleep while murmuring soft words into the strangers ear until he passed out.

„ _Please … don't, please_." it was Sams pleading mantra, that draw the hunter back into the present.

„Shhh. It's OK, Sam." Dean felt the mens breath increasing, and he loosened his grip. „I'm not gonna hurt you, Sam. - Nothing happened, OK? Nothing. - Don't you remember?" Dean let go of him and inched back.

Sam sobbed silently and shook his head. „You had nightmares.", the hunter told him, and Sam started to remember … _slowly_ what this nightmares were about and a cold shiver ran down his spine.

Dean laid his hand on the mans shoulder. „Tell you what: First Shower then breakfast?"

Sam nodded again, and felt the hunters withdrawing hand. He stayed still, until he noticed that Dean got up from the bed and a couple of audible footsteps later the bathroom door fell into its lock. Sam tried to calm himself down. If he would hold the line, it would probably get half bad. He just had to get over with it. None of the hunters with whom he were with now had beaten or intimately touched him so far. _Though there would be plenty of time remaining for it …_

After both of them were done, they went over to Bobby's house. The older hunter had already prepared a little breakfast. Three plates, orange juice and coffee, when a knock sounded from the front door.

„What took you both so long?", he asked, when Sam and Dean entered the kitchen.

Sam was a few steps behind Dean, his look glued with the floor, glazing thru his dark bangs of hair. „Ellen called this morning. - She got something for us." The older hunter shot Dean a knowing look, before he smiled at his silent follower. „Take a seat, Sam."

He hesitated until Dean gave him a sign to sit down on one of chairs. Choosing the one beside the wall like every other morning so far. Sam felt still uncomfortable, sitting in front of a table, on a chair. But he had to admit, that his fears started to fade. His head had nothing else to do, than call him stupid for it. _Probably it was stupid._ But he was here now, and maybe he should start to enjoy the good times he had, before the bad times started to come back …

* * *

Sam jerked up from his bed, bathed in sweat – another night, another nightmare. This time he was alone in his bed, no soothing hand and voice that tried to comfort him. And it felt bad. He felt so cold and alone at once, like he felt down in the basement. It was so damn dark and the cool air gave him the chills. He knew that Dean wouldn't be with him all the time … maybe he had it up to here with Sams nightly escapades …

His heart slammed against his chest and he swallowed down a sob when he decided to look for Dean. He slowly staggered out of the dark place and into the kitchen-living-room of the cabin, to find his _Master_ sound asleep on the couch. Maybe he hadn't woken him this time. Sam tried to be as silent as possible, when he sneaked across the room to the couch and let himself down on the floor, between couch and table.

One of Deans arms hang over the edge, fingertips brushing with every breath over the ground.

The young man curled up on his side and gripped the hunters hand softly, not wanting to wake him.

Dean groaned and shifted a little bit to make himself more comfortable on the couch. That was when he realized, that he had slept the whole night on the couch instead beside Sam. And a split second later he started to _feel_ , that something … or _someone_ had his hand in a soft grip … _Sam_.

The hunters eyes fluttered open with while he realized this couldn't be right, and he moved a little bit to take a look over the edge beside him. And yeah … _this was Sam_ , curled up on the cold wooden floor, just in Pyjama pants and holding his hand.

Dean smiled a little bit and rolled over, so that he was placed on his side. His free hand ran thru Sams soft and dark hair, and down over his cheeks. _He looked so damn peaceful when he was asleep._ Sam was cold to the touch, and shivered a little bit, when Dean rubbed gently over the younger mans upper arm. The hunter frowned in concern and let his hand run over the young mans back. _Damn it_ … he was cold as ice.

„Sam?" Deans voice was husky. „C'mon, kiddo. You're catching yourself death himself down there."

He moved a little bit in respond, just to curl up even more and another shiver roamed thru Sams body. But Sam didn't care, as long as he had Deans hand to hold on. Dean rubbed the young mans back a little bit tighter and retired his captured hand. Green hazel-eyes blinked open and looked up, to meet the older mans smile.

„Sam, come up." Dean said gently and guided Sam on couch under his blankets. Dean pulled back until he reached the backrest, to offer some more space. The young man body shivered against the warm embrace , and he crawled closer, until their bodies met. It _felt_ good, and warm. And even though Sams head tried to tell him, that it wasn't right to cuddle up with his M _aster_ like this … his heart told him otherwise. _And he smiled_ … for the first time in a long time he smiled against the chest of this nearly foreign man. For the first time in a long time he felt _save_.

Dean slung his arm around the mans waist, and let his chin rest on his forehead. _Damn_ , he smelled good … it _felt_ good. It was a long time since he had someone _close_ like that … just for being _together_ with someone, _close_ to someone …

„You OK?" Dean asked and rubbed Sams back through the blanket for a while, before he let his arm slip under the blanket and pulled it up over their shoulders. „Why didn't you wake me?"

Sam tugged _closer_ … at least he tried, since they already were as near as even possible, and leaned his head on the older mans chest. „I didn't want to wake you."

Dean sighed. „Next time you wake me, you understand?" and kept on rubbing Sams bare back under the covers. „You'll get sick, when you sleep on the floor."

Sam rubbed his nose on the hunters chest and curled up a bit, his arms between himself and Dean. „You were asleep, Master. - I am not supposed to wake you."

„You know, that i don't want you to call me like that." Dean retorted husky.

Sam nodded, before he dozed off again. Dean in the meanwhile just lay there and looked down on himself – as good as he was able to – to catch a look of the man. The bruises and wounds from the collar and chains were fading slowly, and he had a little bit more color in his face. Actually Sam seemed more aware, and dared to move – at least in the cabin – free, without asking if he was allowed to. Dean had got him some of Bobby's books, and Sam seemed pretty interested in them.

His soft smile faded, when he thought about his conversation with the grumpy guy next door. Bobby and Ellen said they would try to find someone he belonged to … _family_. But something inside of the young hunters heart wished, that they wouldn't. - He knew it was selfish and dangerous, but he didn't want to lose Sam. He had grown to him in a twisted way. Just after this few days, he knew it would hurt like hell to lose this guy. He wished that Sam would be able to stay with him, that he could take care of him. He knew that the man wouldn't be save anywhere except with another hunter. Dean didn't want to imagine, what the mans abilities would mean in demons hands … or rather, what they'd do to him to find out how to push the right buttons.

_... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 6 ~ Angels Are Watching Over You**

It was an hour later, when Dean withdrew from the couch, to get to the bathroom and make breakfast, before Sam would wake up. For a few minutes he couldn't do otherwise and stand and look at the man on his couch. Taking in the sight of his calm breathing and flushed cheeks from the warmth of them both under the blanket. Dean wore a gentle smile, eyes softly checking over Sams body while he pulled up the covers over Sams exposed shoulders.

… Almost forgotten, that this man was one of _Azazels children_ , tainted and unclean, as the other hunters had called them. It made him sad … what if they had given those kids a _real_ chance. Yeah, probably some would've become dangerous and surely some wouldn't have. All though, they didn't win the battle. Azazel managed to get one of those kids to open a hellgate in Wyoming anyways. Too much blood got shed … things happened, and broke loose who weren't supposed to … families got destroyed and all he, his father and most of the other hunters wanted to stop, didn't. Everything went on as the demon had planned, and now … _NOW_ were more demons on earth than ever were before.

Dean forced his look finally from the young man and made his way to the bathroom to start his daily routines.

It took another hour until Sam woke up and moved a little bit to shift his long body on the short couch in a little bit more comfortable position. Just then he realized, that he got woken … woken by looks … the staring of ocean-blue eyes stabbing cold looks in Sams body.

The young mans eyes flashed open, and he sat up in an instant to face a guy in a trench coat on the other side of the table. He was sitting in his Masters TV-chair and was watching him. The man continued to watch him. He didn't even move. He just sat there observantly in the chair … what made Sam more and more uncomfortable.

Sam knew in an instant, that he wasn't _human_ … no way. It looked like the man was surrounded by a faint aura of light and shadowy wings rose behind his shoulders … _big wings_ … it had to be an **angel**. Sam had just once seen one – a whole lot of years ago – when the hunters were still taking him out … before he tried to break free and to call for help. It had been a woman in these elder days. A _beautiful_ woman, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And with all the light and the decent, invisible wings who were just meant to be seen by Sam himself, she looked even more breathtaking.

Sam wasn't shure if he should smile or cry. He wasn't shure if he should hide or flee … he wasn't even shure if he should call out for his Master … was it even possible? _Angels?_

„You know what i am?", the man in the trench coat sat up and leaned his elbows on the side-leans of Deans chair.

Sam nodded and crawled backwards into the furthest corner on the couch, until his bare back hit the lean behind him. He pulled his long legs up instinctively and added his arms to steady them.

„Damn it, _Cas_!" Deans voice rose, annoyed and full of anger in the outskirts. „What the hell are you doing here? How long are you here?"

Sam flinched. He wasn't prepared for shattering pans and shouting.

The Angel stood up. This was the first time he moved his gaze somewhere else. Castiel looked at Dean, and Dean at Castiel for a long moment, before the angel answered. „There are rumours, and i wanted to see if it is true. - I figured it could just be you."

With a few wide steps, Dean was behind the couch and behind Sam, putting one of his hands on Sams shoulder and squeezing it gently. „I already told you about personal space, didn't I? - Next time you better knock. - Sam ain't ready for unannounced visitors."

„Yes you told me. - I am sorry about this." The angel shot a quick look at the younger man. „Is it true, that he can expel demons from their hosts?"

„At least you get to the point", Deans voice was steady, but Sam could feel the tension in his Deans grip, when the angel spoke. Dean shrugged. „I don't know. - Actually we haven't got time to talk about it ."

 _yet_ … Sam added in his thoughts.

„So you do not want to find out if it is true?" Again, the angels look darted between Dean and Sam.

„The point is, Dean. - We got the direct order to get hold of this man." Castiel gave Sam an intensive look.

Sams lunged for Deans hand and gripped him by his wrist. Dean shifted a little, and put his other hand on Sams other shoulder, to show him that he wouldn't let them take him away.

„... and do whatever it takes to _eliminate_ him." Castiel added clinical. „They do not know yet where Sam actually is. - I would suggest to put up protection wards. I will not be the only one to figure out who bought him. - Actually we have a demon upstairs, who will be pleased to tell my superior everything that happened on the auction."

Dean nodded thoughtfully. „You could ward him, like you warded me, couldn't you?", when he looked down at Sam, and the crazy mob of hair beyond him.

The Angel nodded. „Yes i can.", and he was in an instant beside the couch, putting one of his hands on Sams back and the other one on his forehead.

Then the pain came, and was almost as fast gone, as it started. Sam gasped, like all oxygen was punched out of his lungs, and sucked in a deep breath.

„It's okay, Sam." Dean buried one of his hands in Sams hair and rubbed his shoulder gently „This is going to make it a lot harder to find you now."

Sam nodded, and braced one of his hands against his chest. Then Dean looked up with a wide grin. „Thank you, Cas." and nodded towards him.

„Just keep your heads down for now. Or a little bit longer. Ward the house against angels." Castiel actually shared a little smile with the class. „Don't make my efforts to hide my tracks meaningless, Dean." and with that and a flapping noise the angel was gone.

The hunters grip on Sams shoulder softened. „You Okay, Sam?" He asked silently.

The young man nodded and cocked his head back to look questioning at Dean and gave him a bright smile that not just crossed his mouth, even his eyes and cheeks were involved. It seemed brighter than any smile Dean had ever seen, forcing him to respond with a wide grin.

„Lets get breakfast and then … you should show me what you're capable of. - Some sparring and maybe you are also gonna hit a can in the backyard, hu?"

Sams smile faded instantly and his features went dark. The bright glistening died and an expression of pure fear and pain flared up. „What's wrong?" The hunter frowned and concern crossed his face.

Sam shook his head and looked down. Yeah, of course … _sparring_. That's what the others called it, when it was about to get rid of their frustration, - of their anger, - of all they had to get rid of. This man hadn't hit him once. He hadn't touched him without his consent, but neither did the others in the beginning. Maybe the horror would start _now_ … he was so stupid to think this could end up different. Tears started to sting in his eyes and hid them behind thick bangs of hair.

Sam got dressed in some of the new clothes Bobby had brought by yesterday. Then they went into the kitchen-part of the cabin and sat by the small table. Sam didn't eat, just poked with his fork in the food, eyes hidden behind shaggy hair and staring at his plate. Lost in thoughts and memories about the life with these other hunters, and what it would mean to live this all over again.

„You are worried?" Dean looked up, trying to figure out what had turned Sams mood.

Sam nodded.

„About what i said earlier?", he asked.

Sam nodded again.

„You know i won't hurt you, right?" the hunter went on asking, and repeated, after he didn't even get a nod in respond. „right?"

Sam gazed at the older man in front of him for a little while, then he nodded hesitantly.

„I just wanna see if you're able to defend yourself when it's necessary." The older hunter sounded confident. „I want you to learn how to defend yourself, Sam." He sounded unbelievable gentle now.

Sam nodded again. _He just wanted to disappear somewhere._

Maybe, Dean thought, he should've told him after the breakfast what he had planned for today. Sam seemed worried … more than that … he seemed _afraid_ , nearly _scared to death_.

Sam managed to get some bites down, then they made space in the living room together.

Dean grinned playful as they stood in the middle of the room and arched his right eyebrow up. Then he went into the kitchen and came out with a paper-bag, just to place it on the dresser, on the other side of the living room, besides the entrance.

„ _This_ ", the hunter pointed at the paper-bag, „is yours, _IF_ you're able to reach it." Then he shrugged and gave Sam a sassy grin. „ _IF NOT_ … you have to share with me. - OK?"

Sam, who still stood in the middle of the living-room, looked over Deans shoulder to the bag on the dresser, and back to the younger hunter. Would this paper bag be worth it to get beaten up? Though he wanted to know what was in there … and obviously his Master wanted to turn this into a game … Sam wasn't shure what to think about it at all …

„Trust me, Sam. It's definitely worth a try." Deans grin widened. „So, lets get started, shall we?", and with one motion he got in a defensive position.

Sam wasn't shure what to do … what his Ma- Dean wanted him to do, so he just took a step forward and gave him a questioning look.

„OK, Sam. - You can't stare me to death … so what about trying and hit me? Or try and shove me out of the way?" Dean suggested with a smile.

„But … i don't want to hurt you." Sam stammered.

Dean let out a short snort. „C'mon. You won't hurt me. _Promise_." He was pretty sure, that the younger man wasn't able to hurt him. _Not without training._ Well, he would let him get a couple of hits, but actually really hurting? _No way would this happen._

After a few half-hearted punches of Sam, a lot of encouraging and nervy teasing by Dean it actually ended up in a pretty messy fight. And Sam wasn't as untrained, as Dean had thought. At some point he had issues with being fast enough to avoid damn hard punches from his younger opposite-player.

They were practicing their _kind-of-training_ already about an hour, when Sam started to get slower. So Dean figured he had to get himself to slow down too … this realization just came a couple of seconds too late, when he felt his knuckles collide with Sams cheekbone and the younger man stumbled back, clutching his hands on his face.

Dean took a shocked breath and was on his way across the room, to look what damage he just put on. „Uhh Sam. - I'm sorry, I didn't want to -" He wasn't able to finish.

Within a split second, Sam let his arms fall, threw himself against the hunter, and tore them both to the ground.

Dean had the opportunity to land under Sam, who was definitely completely washed-out by now. Both lay there panting, lungs reaching for the needed oxygen. „ _Oh Shit .._ ", Dean gasped and reached on the backside of his head, just to feel a light bump forming.

Sam let his head rest against the hunters chest for a bit longer, before he looked up, and recognized Deans discomfort.

All color drained from Sams face and he rolled off from his rival.

„I'm so sorry. I – I – i shouldn't have. _I'm sorry ..._ " He shoved backwards and tried to gain some space between him and Dean. _He knew this wouldn't end well._

„It's allright, Sam. - That's what i wanted." Dean was still panting. „I just didn't figure, that you're a real threat for a hunter _like me_ ..." _yep, still not enough oxygen_ in his lungs. He turned his head to face the younger man. „i guess you've won – _THIS TIME_." The hunter sat up, and felt a wave of dizziness washing over him. „Help me up, Sasquatch", and reached in Sams direction.

Sam swallowed down a sob and whipped away his tears. Then he hurried towards Dean and helped him back on his feet, just to end in a gentle hug. „You did great, Sam. - I'm proud of you."

 **And no one ever would've believed, that Dean Winchester was the one who said this to someone else, if it wasn't written down here**. Yeah, the hunter wasn't a friend of c _hick-flick-moments_. Because chick-flick-moments were _girly-stuff_ , and he was a damn freaking _manly man_. Except when it came to the guy in his arms, he decided a couple of days ago … Sam was worth the chick-flick-moments he avoided so far in his life. He just wanted the kid to feel good, giving him something to look forward, showing him that this world had her beautiful sides too. Not just violence and hurt.

„You wanna look what's in the bag?" Dean asked with a smile.

Sam shook his head. _Nope, actually he wasn't interested any longer in the content._

Dean let go of him and pushed the wet strains of hair out of his face and behind his ears. „It's OK. - Go and grab two forks and two plates from the living-room. - I guess we both earned us a piece of pie."

Sam nodded and did as he was told.

After they had shared Sam's price, they watched TV. The younger man chose the science channel, even if he didn't get to see a lot of it. Sam was exhausted and pretty soon fast asleep with his head against Deans shoulder.

… _.. to be continued_

* * *

  
  


* * *

**Chapter 7 ~ Hunting 101**

Things went good for another week. Pretty soon it was clear, that Sam wasn't unskilfully with guns as it seemed. One shot, one hit. At some point it looked like he became ONE with Deans Baretta, and the weapon was nothing else as an extended arm of him anymore.

Just the nightmares were still present and were lugging on both men. Dean, because he didn't get enough sleep during the night, and Sam because his sleep was too restless to recover.

The young hunter finally got a lead a couple of days ago on the demon who held the hunters journal . Right now he was on the phone with Ellen, while Sam tried himself as a cook.

Besides that the kitchen looked like a huricane had blown thru, it didn't smell that bad at all. But the point was, that it looked more like someone had gagged into the pot ... it looked more like „ _something_ " than anything else. Actually it should've been Chili Con Carne (Bobby had given him the receipt) … but Dean doubted that it would taste like it, since it didn't even nearly came close to look like chili at all.

Dean grimazed. „That's great Ellen. I owe you.", he said with a broad grin, as he watched Sam who put another spoon of something that looked like black dirt into the pot. …. _Goofer Dust_

„I think he's doing fine." Dean swallowed down a loughter, as Sam tried to figure out if he should add the sweet pepper or the normal pepper to the chili … _it was already dead_ , but the man didn't give up, encouraged trying to save what was left of the thick mash in the pot. Dean turned his back towards the kitchen, before he continued: „Listen Ellen … you already found someone he belongs to?"

There was a pause on the other line. „ _Yes i do … but i am not shure if that's what you are looking for. - And to be honest, hon. - Neither i'm sure that it's a good idea … look … i haven't met him yet … but all you and Bobby told me about him ..._ " Ellen paused. _„... maybe it's better if he stays with you both."_

Dean sighed. He didn't want to _give him away_ … he wanted to have at least the chance to check on Sam once in a while. - It wasn't save out there for him, and Dean knew it. _But on the other hand_ … what life could Bobby and Dean give him? - _It was so far away from normal – screwed up to say at least._

„ _Look, Dean. I know it ain't easy for anyone of you guys. - Neither it's for Sam. - I'd suggest: don't rush things. Maybe he likes the hunter's life. You told me he likes books and reads a lot and that he already did some research for Bobby ..._ " Ellen sounded so damn confident all the time … though she was more like a female Bobby when it came to terms … just less grumpy.

„You're right, Ellen. - Thanks for the hint with the demon ..." Dean turned around, „I'll call Joshua later.", and turned towards the kitchen while shut his phone, just to see Sam leaning in the doorway of the kitchen and watching him with sad big hazel-eyes. Filled with hurt and something Dean wasn't able to put his finger on.

„So … i've a family out there?" Sam frowned slightly. „That means … you don't wanna keep me, do you?"

„Sam … it's not about _keeping_ you. Don't talk like you ain't human." The hunter swallowed and let out a deep sigh. „You should have a normal life. - Catch up with school, spending time with someone else and not with a wrecked hunter, who probably won't come back home from his next hunt." _… fantastic Dean … just let it all out_ , sarcasm dripping from every single word that flooded through his mind. _Maybe you could poke the hurt puppy a bit more, it might run likes to run from you then._ „I would check on you every now and then.", the hunter added after a short pause.

Sam's heart shattered into pieces … Why did he feel so alone again all of a sudden? Why didn't Dean want to keep him? _What had he done wrong?_ Maybe it was because of _WHAT_ he was … „Can't i please you? I mean … i _can_ change things … i do what you want me to do … I'd do **everything**." If he had to beg he'd do it. He would do everything to be allowed to stay with both of them **EVERYTHING**. He didn't feel that good and comfortable since … _since ever_ … and he didn't want to loose it, whatever it may cost.

„ _Oh god .._." Dean swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a brief second. „ _Sam_ … we talked about this. That we're going to look for the family of yours ... You probably don't even know this man, but he might be good for you. - It's just … i wanted to be sure that there's noone else who knows you, _who's probably still looking for you_." He paused. „We are not going to run over anything here, OK? - Ellen just told me, that there's someone who's related to you. The guy has a farm, _he ain't poor,_ Sam _._ "

„Everyone i knew is dead or forgotten, Dean ..." All this hurt in Sams eyes. „I can barely remember what my mum looked like. What my sisters looked like. All i can remember bright as day is the time i spent with those hunters … _IF_ there's someone who knows me ..." The young man swallowed the rest of his thoughts down.

Dean exhaled.

„You can trust me when i say, that _THIS_ is by far the best time i had in all these years. - You and Bobby haven't beaten me once, you haven't …. you ..." Sam sealed his look with the wooden floor and fought back a sob.

Dean knew, what it was about, when the younger man started to stutter. Sam didn't have to say a word then, ever. It wasn't something Sam wanted to talk about. He haven't told the hunter anything about his past so far. Actually Sam didn't talk a lot at all. Just when someone talked to him and demanded on answers …

The hunter walked over to him and Sam let pull himself into a soft hug. „It's okay, _Sammy_." Dean didn't want this. He didn't want to make Sam feel like he wasn't accepted or that he felt like any kind of burden to them. The young guy tried so hard to help them both with research and other stuff around the yard. „You can stay, if you want to." As hard as the cool hardsettled hunter tried to steady his voice … it didn't work. He hated this. _He hated moments like this_ … he swore to himself, that he wouldn't broach this topic ever again. Uncertain if it was because he hated girly-moments like this, or if he didn't want to see Sam hurt. (more than likely because of the latter)

Sam buried his face in the hunters shoulder and slung his long arms around him, fisting the rough fabric of Deans shirt in his grasp like it was all about life or death.

* * *

It wasn't their first hunt … actually it was more or less their second one if you call a simple salt & burn a hunt. (a real Winchester does not even mention a hunt like that) But it was **Sams first hunt.** Dean had managed to choose an easy one and he hoped that nothing would go south. He wanted to go easy on Sam, even if he didn't knew what Sam had already experienced when it came to supernatural stuff like vengeful spirits.

Well „going south" was relative in the Winchester's vocabulary. First they got flinged across the graveyard, punched and a bit messed up but then everything went pretty well.. Sam kept digging, and Dean had his back with the sawed off. And it was like it should be when you have a _partner_ … they got each others back.

* * *

**THIS** _now_ , was pretty much different. Dean didn't want Sam to come with him. Actually he had tried to occupy him with some research about Lilith, at Bobby's house. But it didn't work … Sam had figured out that it was about the Journal Dean and Bobby hadn't won at the auction a little over two months ago when they had freed Sam instead. So Sam demanded to go with Dean and having at least his back out there. Because mostly, _Sam felt useless_. And apart from that, _Sam cared about Dean._

Dean didn't want him for hunting in the first place. He didn't want to use him as bait. He didn't want to use him as punching ball, and he didn't even want to touch him like the others did. So yeah, Sam wasn't afraid of **this** hunter. _Because Dean had promised he wouldn't hurt him._ He had promised to take care of him and he had promised that if Sam wanted to stay, he could. He felt _save_ … _completely save._

This hunt was different, because Dean didn't tell him for what they drove six hours streight across the country, just to end up on the outskirts of an abandoned town, a mile away from an abandoned farm in the middle of the night in this freezing cold fullmoon-midnight-sereande.

Now they sat in the car, and both were silent. Sam didn't ask what kind of job it was, since Dean refused to tell him about it …

„I could go with you, Dean. You know? - I don't want you to get hurt in there." he looked at his tutor … _Sam was worried_. It wasn't because Sam thought that Dean wouldn't be able to handle this kind of hunt on his own (though the hunter didn't tell him what they were hunting, but Sam sensed it … it was all about _the journal_ ). Hell, Dean had told him about stand-alone-hunts that were probably trickier … but Sam couldn't shake this bad feeling about this _special one_ off.

„I won't. Trust me. I've done this a couple of times. I just want you to stay here. - **IF** i'm not back in four hours from now on, you go and call Bobby." Dean said and pressed a cell-phone in Sam's hand. „From now on we're partners. - If we ever get separated, you'll need a phone by yourself." Dean grinned widely, when he saw the surprised look in Sams eyes.

„We drove a whole hour out here.", Sam muttered and stared at the phone in his hands. „ **IF** something would happen, Bobby wouldn't be here _FAST ENOUGH_." Sam said hesitating … it was the first time he dared to talk against something Dean was saying to him. Something inside of him feared that he would get punished for it. He just couldn't help and be _worried_ about the man beside him. He owed him so much, much more as he was able to give. „You could be dead within an hour.", Sam added.

Dean chuckled and patted Sams lower leg, when he looked over at him. Then Dean got a serious expression on his face and his eyes darkened. „I want you to stay here. **NO. MATTER. WHAT.** \- You're still in no condition for ... - You haven't recovered completely yet, and i don't want you to push it." Dean caught Sams look. „You understand me? You're just here because you begged me for it, Sam." The hunter smiled gently and Sam couldn't do anything else but nod.

„Just …. just be careful, ok?" he shot Dean a last worried gaze, before the hunter shut the door of the impala behind him and disappeared into the black night, covered in darkness.

Damned to wait, Sam checked his brand new phone every couple of minutes, waiting for the hunter to come back.

* * *

After exactly three hours, ten minutes and forty-two seconds (that's when Sam last checked his phone), a weird feeling settled in his stomach. A feeling, that he knew too good. Something, that he hadn't sensed in a while. Though it felt more intensive, since he didn't knew how it was even possible … _they_ haven't been here before, did they? Actually _they_ had to be damn close around by now. Or it meant that it wasn't just _ONE_ …. _there had to be at least three of them …_

Sam didn't waste time. He looked at the register in the phone, hoping that he'd find at least Bobby's number in there, and Deans. _Yep, he did._ **DEAN** , **BOBBY** , **ELLEN** … the most important numbers he'd ever need. In an instant, he dialed Bobby's number while he got out of the impala, armed with nothing else than a flashlight in the back-pocket of his jeans.

„ _What's wrong, Sam?"_ It hadn't even taken a second ring before Bobby picked up his phone.

„ **Demons** , Bobby. **Demons**. At least three … i don't know … could be more too." Sam ran slightly bent over, through the high grass. It was freaking cold, and Sam had left his jacket on the backseat of the car.

„I don't know, Bobby. - They weren't there when we got here." Sam's exhale blew and evaporated in white mist.

He asked himself, why the hell Dean hadn't told him about THIS kind of hunt. Why he hadn't told him, that this was about **demons**? _Why hadn't he taken him with?_ Dean knew what abilities Sam had, and Sam would've used them at any time. Dean had to know that. _On the other hand_ … _Yeah_ , Sam was a monster after all, and probably Bobby and Dean didn't trust him like he trusted them. Who the heck would trust a monster anyways? … **no one** ….

Sam shut down his phone after Bobby told him that he would come, and that Sam should to stay in the car until he he'd arrive. But Sam knew better. Demons were powerful creatures. He needed to help Dean before it was too late.

* * *

He never saw it coming. This whole _i-got-the-demon call_ of Joshua was probably one hell of a trap. Now Joshua stood there - eyes pitch-black - over Dean and landed another kick in his side.

Dean panted as the searing pain in his gut got joined by a throbbing ache in his head. _Damn right, a concussion and probably a whole lot of bruised ribs._

He had no idea how much time had passed already. He just hoped that the damn freaking longest 240 minutes of his life would be over soon. Dean rolled on his side, to curl up as much as the bruises on his back allowed him to.

„This coud be over, Winchester. - Just tell us where Azazels Child is, and we'll leave it be. You can walk outta here and you'll never see us again. …", Joshua added a cheeky chuckle. …. _liar liar house on fire!_

„Bite me, bitch" Dean hissed and stared up at his possessed friend. At least he tried to catch a view of the Joshua - what was pretty hard - considering that his face was a mess and his left eye and temple were bruised and badly swollen at the moment. A taste of copper wrapped around his tongue and filled his mouth slowly after a fist landed on his jaw.

„We could tie you down and start to slice us thru your flesh until we reach your guts, Winchester. - You're still alive because we know that you know where the man is." Joshua grinned naughty and gave a wink with his hand.

Thereupon two others showed up, grabbing Dean under his arms and pulled him on his feet. Another one placed an iron-chair in the middle of the abandoned barn and tabbed on it lightly. The both of them hauled Dean over to the chair and were on it to bind Winchester-proof knots around the hunters wrists.

„Son of a bitch!", Dean swore loudly, when they squeezed his aching body into the seat. _The time was up_ … at least Dean thought so. They would slice and cut until there was nothing left of him except some bits and pieces. At least he wouldn't sell Sams soul to these bastards. If only they knew how near he was. Just a mile outside in the damn car. He wished he would've left him in the motel with Bobby, where he'd been – at least – not alone.

The doors of the barn fling open with a loud creak and a dark silhouette appeared in the pale moonlight. A giant guy, with something that looked like a wild gone mop on his head (Deans thoughts) stood there.

„ **DON'T. YOU. DARE.** " Sam had tried to catch his breath before he wanted to pull that stunt. But obviously the demons didn't share his timing anyways, so he had to skip the foreplay. There was at least a small chance, that he'd be able to take out three of them. The young man had weighted his chances, but no matter how hard he tried to make a plan up, it hadn't worked out.

Sam looked at the beaten up form man in the chair and the both of them exchanged a short glance. . Anger rose in the young mans chest, as he saw the hunters face, and the blood. Dean didn't look like he would be able to take anyone of them out right now. Not in this condition. _When he was lucky enough_ **AND** _fast enough, he'd probably be able to expel the fourth one too._

Before anyone of the demons was able to react, Sam reached out for them with his right hand, and closed his eyes, before he opened them again with a winning grin on his lips. He knew this would cause a major headache. _Damn it_ , he knew this could cost his life. But he had to try. He had to try and save the man, who had saved him. _No matter what. No hesitation._ He owed him that much. **He didn't want him to dy.** Sam had the bitter feeling in the back of mind, that it'd hurt him more if Dean would die, as if he had to pay the bill by himself … _and after all_ … he was just a monster, like those who he was going to smite tonight.

Dean would've yelled at Sam for not staying in the car, if he hadn't been so stunned about what was going to happen right in front of him. In nearly the same moment, as Sam had raised his right hand, the demons remained in their places and one after another started to make choking and gurgling sounds. The hunter saw the the effort it took Sam to hold them all in place. He saw strains of pain emerging on the young mans face.

It was harder than Sam had thought it would be. Yeah, he exorcised one demon at a time these days back there. Now it were four. But he had to … there was no way he wouldn't at least try and stand his ground. _Maybe he would be able to hold them there until Bobby come?_ … unlikely, and Sam knew it. He had to expel them. **NOW**.

Searing pain sent white and black dots into Sams vision. He held his left hand to his temple, pressing it against his head, trying to ignore the oozing blood from his nose and the metallic taste in his mouth.

Then finally, the first one started to cough up black smoke, and Sam tried harder to force them out of their hosts. He had just this one chance, there was no second try and he knew it.

When the first motionless body hit the ground, the second one started to cough and gag up the black poison. With every second it got harder to focus on his task. Harder to hold on and keep the darkness at bay, that started to reach out for him.

Dean struggled in his boundaries to break free, his eyes darting between Sam, the demon's hosts and his demon-killing-knife in the dirt, just a couple of feet away. His breath hitched and the more Sam started to struggle, the more frantic Dean tried to get free.

The third one was finally down, and he knew he had to hold on. He had to hold on, until he had sent the last one of these bastards where they belong. The world around him started to fade slowly, when the fourth and last one fell to his knees. It took Sam far too long, and he knew it. Strains of pain covered his face and he felt that he wasn't able to hold on anymore. Sams knees gave out and he sank down, bending over and bracing his hands against the ground. Soon the demon got back on his feet, sucking the mist of darkness back into his host, _everything seemed lost._

Blood was trickling on the dusty ground under Sams face.

Dean broke free in the very second when the demon had swallowed the last wave of darkness back in. Ignoring the yelling pain in his limbs and torso, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head, running for their only chance to win this fight. **The knife.** He crunched into the dirt and grabbed the promising weapon, before he got back on his feet. To long strides towards the demons back and digging it deep into the hosts form where his heart was supposed to be.

The empty vessel sank down and lolled to it's side when Dean forced his look towards his savior.

„Sam?", Dean gasped and limbed over to him. „ _Sammy_ " he panted and fell to his knees beside the unconscious man.

Sams body had given out, just a split second before Dean had been able to reach him. The hunter grabbed him gently and rolled him on his back, sweeping sweat-soaked bangs out of Sams face. Dean brushed gently over Sams forehead, pale cheek and his neck letting his fingers rest over the one spot that would promise him that he was still alive.

„Sammy. C'mon." Dean pulled the young man into his lab, bracing one of his hands against his sweaty cheek. „You did good, kiddo." Tears filled the hunters eyes. Dean swallowed down his need to shed tears, and digged into the pockets of his jeans.

„You gotta hold on, Sammy, you hear me?" and hit the speed dial on his phone to connect with his older friend.

„We're in the barn." Dean didn't even wait for Bobby to say anything. „Just hurry."

The young hunter threw his phone aside and dragged the limb body of his savior closer, so that Sams back was resting against his chest. Despite his own injuries, Dean was more worried about the man in his arms. This wasn't supposed to end like this. And he was pretty sure, that whatever Sam just did, that it wasn't supposed to hurt him in ways like this. Dean laid one of his hands on Sams chest, since his breath seemed too shallow, when he was laing flat on the floor.

„It's 'kay, D'n." more as a breath, and less than a whisper left Sams lips. „Y'kay?"

Dean took a deep breath in relieve and chuckled silently when he heard his voice. „Yeah, Sam, i'm okay. - What about you? Are you hurtin'?"

Sam coughed and tried to sling his arms around his chest, to save himself from the aching sensation of sucking icy oxygen into his burning lungs. He hissed in pain as he tried to breathe thru it and couldn't. „J'st exhausted.", he answered, before his eyelids fluttered closed.

„Hey, stay with me, Sammy." Dean tugged him closer, to share as much body-warmth as possible. „Just a little bit longer."

Sams eyes opened to slits and tired hazel-eyes met emerald-green-eyes. „It's ok. J'st t'rd."

„No no no. - I give a shit about that." Dean stated and started to rub Sams chest thru the thin fabric of his plaid shirt, a little bit rougher as he would've done usually. „You've to stay awake until Bobby's comin'. - You hear me?"

Sam gave him a small nod. „D'n't worry."

Dean felt helpless … _unbelievable helpless_. Whatever had happened – well he knew what had happened, but he never saw such a thing … hell, he never felt such a thing – he had to try and keep the younger man conscious as long as possible. Who the hell knew what would happen if he'd let him slip away? Dean just knew, that Sam didn't want to talk about the expelling of demons, and that it woke bad memories. Sam always avoided to answer Deans questions about his abilities, and Dean didn't want to push him. Now he thought that it was one of his biggest failures. He should've pushed him. He should've demanded to get answers, then maybe, he'd knew what to do right now.

„You took out three and a half demon on your own right now, kiddo." Dean explained with lines of deep concern in his face, „You haven't done this ever before, did you?" He knew he was right. He had this miserable feeling in his gut, that Sam had overdone it to save him, and was now paying the price.

Sams lips curled up slightly and widened into a grin. „cn't beli've I d'd it." His voice was barely a whisper, before his eyes closed and slipped into unconsciousness.

_... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


* * *

** Chapter 8 ~ Gone Wrong **

Bobby slammed on the brakes of his old ford pick-up-truck in the middle of the yard on the farm. The temperature had dropped during his drive, so he slipped into his warm bomber-jacket, before he left the comfortable warmth of his heated vehicle. This was not the time to be careless, so he aimed with his shot gut on the wide spread door of the barn, barely five feet away. When his look fell on the lifeless bodies in the middle on the room, he got the feeling that the show-stage was long empty.

„Dean!?", he called out, while his look flew over four lifeless bodies in front of him and stopped on the two men kneeling on the ground. „Holy shit, boys."

The older hunters glare flew over both of them in just a couple of seconds like he was trying to tell if one or even both of the men were seriously injured. In less than four long strides he reached the bundle of hardship and threw his shotgun on the dirty ground. He laid a hand on Sams cold cheek, and looked up, to find Deans pleading look.

„How bad is it?" Bobby asked, and laid the other hand on Deans shoulder. „How bad are _you_ hurt?"

Dean shivered from the cold, that had started to crowl up on his spine just minutes before Bobby appeared. „I-i-it'sss n-not that b-b-b-b-bbad. Some b-b-b-bruised ribbbs, concus-s-s-s-sion, maybe" Dean answered with clattering teeth. „Hypothermia." Dean draw Sams limb form closer, holding the mans hands in his own, to protect him from the threatening frostbite with the little he was able to give. „S-s-sam passed out short af-fter i called 'u. - He d-d-didn't wake up ever since."

Bobby's gaze fell on the young man, whose face was smeared with blood. It looked like a nosebleed, but there was too much blood that it would've been as simple as that. There was some dried moisture, that looked like half dried blood in the young mans corners of his eyes and mouth.

„We get you both back into the motel and warm you up. - It ain't warm and comfortable enough out here for a cuddle-session, don't ya think?" The older hunters concerned gaze met Deans and added a soft smile.

„No shit, Sherlock." Dean rubbed gently over Sams chest, before he lowered him to the ground.

„Up you go." Bobby said and helped Dean back on his feet, and steadied him as he swayed. „You shure you can drive?" The older hunter knew his friend. He wouldn't leave his car anywhere on it's own. No matter how bad he was hurting.

Dean nodded. „Don't try me, Bobby."

* * *

After they had laid Sam on the backseat of Bobby's pick-up-truck and covered him in some of the dusty blankets, the older hunter gave Dean a ride to the impala.

„You're gonna take the lead, i'm right behind you both.", Dean said before he slammed the passengers door shut and hurried around to his own beloved car.

Now, that he was alone, his body still stiff and tensed from the cold, and the clammy feeling that Sam was not just exhausted, he turned the turned the keys in the ignition to start the rumbling roar of the impalas engine. He shot a worried look on the empty passenger's seat beside him before he pulled back on the road, following the messy vehicle that Bobby dared to call a car.

Dean held the steering wheel with an iron grip while he shot a short glance at the passengers seat once in a while. After Dean had left Sam in the car on his own, the whole car had smelled like the young man. Like cheep shampoo and aftershave … now there was nothing left of it … unbelievable how fast the Sams scent had faded in just a couple of hours …

He would've given everything to stay in Bobby's car with Sam. But he knew he couldn't leave his baby back there. If someone would've noticed it … it might have gotten stolen, or worse: someone could've called the cops … and if they'd found out about the items in the trunk … Dean was lost in his thoughts, he stared thru the windshield, not letting the old Ford Truck out of his sight, while his mind flooded somewhere between here and there and mostly around Sam.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he nearly missed Bobby's emergency brake and would've crashed into the ass of the old mans car, if his hunter instincts wouldn't have kicked in in time, and he tramped into the breaks, that the wheels squeaked.

The hunter didn't lose any time to get out of the impala and over to the pick-up-truck while loud cries and screams echoed into the night air. He slammed the backdoor open, and stood there for a moment, taking in the scene.

Bobby bowed over Sam, and tried to talk to him – fruitless. Sams features screamed in pain, his eyes pressed shut. He was gasping for air, trying to regain control over his hurting body.

„Sam" Dean got into the car, shoved himself further towards Sams body on the backseat and shut the door behind him, to leave the freezing cold outside. „Try to let it go, and breath thru it" Dean tried to lead him. And praised Bobby for choosing the pick up for this „hunt". He was glad for the spacious backseat of the old wreck, when he kneeled down and laid his hand on Sams cheek.

Sam longed into his touch, searching for comfort. „t's OK. 't'll pass.", followed by another painful outburst of Sams voice.

„Is it always that way?" Dean asked and run with his fingers thru Sams sticky hair. No answer. „Sam, listen to me. It's important.", he demanded, and got his attention right away. „Is it always like this?"

Sam shook his head, as another sharp stab of pain drove through his body.

The hunter tried to swallow down his raising anger as mad fury crossed his features. He would've slammed his fist into a wall if there had been one. „Listen, _Sammy_." Dean cupped the younger mans face in his hands.

Sam opened his eyes to small slits, and caught the hunter's gaze, not wanting to let go of his only anchor. Dean tried to manage a little smile. „Are you allergic against any kind of medication?"

Panic rose inside of him and drove another wave of pain thru his hurting body. „Pl's dn't.", Sam begged and pushed himself against the backseat.

„It won't hurt you. - I promise.", Dean tried to stay calm, tried to be Sams rock in the breakers. He knew it would all depend on him, if Sam would accept the medications that popped into his mind or not. He knew Sam would trust him, if he stayed confident and calm enough. If he was stoking his fear, it wouldn't help either of them both. Sam would lose his trust into Dean and that was the last thing that he wanted to happen. That kid had enough bad experiences in the past.

Sam nodded fearfully. „Promise?", he asked shaky.

Dean nodded and looked at Bobby, who had pulled back and squat down on the other side of the backseat. „Trunk, left bottom corner. There's a first aid kid."

„Sure." Bobby took off with this words and left a cold stream of fresh air into the car when he left.

„I promise you, it'll be OK." Dean said gently and brushed one of Sams tears from his cheek. „You just have to swallow two pills, and you're feeling a lot better in no time, Sam."

Sams back arched up, as another wave of pain flooded thru his chest, and left him panting and gasping for air.

„Look at me." Dean said demanding, never letting go of his gentle touch. „You're still trusting me?" It cost Dean _EVERYTHING_ not to show his concern and worry. When he knew something about this young man, it was, that he had to keep his self-control. No letting him rule by his emotions like he would've done before he had met Sam.

Sam nodded. Yeah, he still trusted this hunter. He trusted him with his life.

A split momentum later, the door at the opposite side of Dean swung open, and a shivering Bobby jumped back into the car, handing Dean the first aid kid.

„I tell you what, Sam. - You did a damn great job back there. I'm proud of you." Dean smiled, while he opened the zipper from the first aid kid. Then he fumbled out a orange bottle with pills and held it, where Sam was able to see them. „That's the good stuff, Sammy." The hunter put up a broad grin. „If i wouldn't have to drive, i'd kick down some by myself."

Sam tried to smile … at least a little bit, but got interrupted by another stab of pain. It felt like someone intended to rib his brain, lungs and guts out of his body.

Dean waited, until the Sam relaxed again before he put two of the pills in Sams palm and helped him with the water bottle. He eased Sam's head back onto the ripped open upholstery and brushed lightly over his forehead, removing a bang of hair. „We'll just wait a couple of minutes. - You'll probably get very tired. Just let it go and give in, Sammy." That's when Sams vision started to fade slowly and he was drifting off into the darkness, guided by the hunters words. „When you wake up, you'll feel a lot better."

The rest of Deans words remained as murmur and finally got lost somewhere between his ears and his mind when the night took him.

_... to be continued_

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**Chapter 9 ~ Closer**

**After the first morning** – and all the compressing silence in the cabin – _Dean cried_. Not because of his bruises. Not because of the physical pain … He cried because of _Sam_. How could he had been that stupid? Deep down he had known, that Sam wouldn't stay back, if he wouldn't return within four hours. Deep down he had known, that Sam would come for him if he was needed. Deep down it felt like some monster tried to crawl his way thru his chest into the daylight. It made him sick to the bones that he wasn't able to do more. _He just didn't want to lose him._

* * *

**After the second morning** , Dean finally decided it was time for a shower and break free of his haunted nightmares. Under the hot and steamy water – that was running down his bruised body in cascades – he swore to himself, that he wasn't going to put Sam in such a situation ever again. Not putting himself in a situation like this ever again. Because deep down he knew, he should've called Sam or Bobby, when he first observed the signs of Joshua's possession … at least he should've tried …

* * *

**After the third morning** … Sams fever spiked during the night and it hardly came down. He didn't wake up anymore to take the medications against the pain and the fever. He just drifted off into a deep sleep in Deans arms, looking for comfort in the closeness to the hunter. That was, when Dean realized that Sam had became something like the pillar between his breakers. He realized, that – since the very first day that Sam was with him – he didn't spend his evenings and nights in bars anymore. He stayed at home … with Sam. They looked TV together and Dean showed him how to defend himself. How to handle weapons. How to kill this creature, and that monster. His last hangover was in the morning before they went to the auction … Dean didn't drink that much anymore since he was too focused on Sam.

* * *

**After the fourth morning** Deans world crashed, shattered into pieces when Sam seized. He had never done this before …. That's when Bobby sneaked into the General Hospital two cities over and gathered infusions, syringes, I.V.s and other medications. That was the first time Bobby when realized how important Sam had gotten in their lives. When he noticed that Dean needed Sam as much, as Sam needed Dean. That was, when Bobby realized, that Sam had grown on him like a son …

* * *

**It was on the fifth morning** , when Dean wasn't able to bear it anymore. It was the fifth morning, Sam refused to wake up. The fifth damn morning, Dean laid by Sams side on the king size bed in the cabin behind Bobby's house, waiting for the younger man to regain conciousness. It tore his heart apart, that the past months could've meant nothing, if Sam stayed sick – _if Sam would die._

The fever broke during the early morning hours while Dean was fast asleep beside Sams prone body, covered in sheets and blankets.

* * *

_That's where our story continues …..._

Sometime in the morning Dean had checked the clock on the bedside table - just to realize that it was 6:09 am - he fell asleep again. The past days _and_ nights were taking their tall on the hunters body.

It was then, when he felt a weak shiver beside him and his eyes fluttered open slowly. It had felt like a soft breeze caressing his bare skin, telling him to wake up, to open his eyes.

„D'n" … it was nothing more than carried on a weak exhale.

When he realized that it was Sam, who had tried to reach for him, his eyes shot open and he took a deep breath. „ _Sammy_?", he asked, his voice still hoarse from sleep. He rolled to his side, to face Sam, where his gaze met exhausted and dazed green hazel-eyes. Sams lips curled up in a little smile. „I – D'n." He closed his eyes and took another breath for a second try.

Dean shushed him and reached for the water bottle on the bedside table. „Water?", Dean asked. His head was still fuzzy from the concussion and his bruised ribs hurt like hell.

Sam nodded slowly, not failing to see the hunters physical pain.

Dean raised his sore torso with a moan and slid backwards on the bed until he reached the headboard to lean against it. Then he replaced Sams pillow gently with his lab, and helped the young man to crawl back until Sams back rested against Deans chest.

„Slow, Sam." He said and sat the bottle on Sams lips. „Small zips, or you gonna make yourself sick." His voice felt somehow strange and strained.

Sam did as he was told and rested his head back against the hunters shoulder. „Thanks"

„You know we'll have to talk about this." …. _when you're better._ Dean stated in a serious voice. „Are you hurtin'?"

Sam shook his head. „Sore", he answered quietly. „How ... long?"

„How long you were out, because you smote three demons?" Deans words left his mouth harsher as they were meant to be. All the anger and his frustration that had built up during the past days made his stomach clench and his temper unbearable.

Sam swallowed.

„You could've died, Sam." Dean hissed, without waiting for an answer. „You could've killed yourself with that little stunt of yours!" The hunter didn't even suspect that he was still able to raise his voice like this … not to be used to use it against the younger man. Dean slipped aside, and shoved the pillow back under Sams head and shoulders, before he got out of the bed.

Sam hissed, when a slicing pain draw down his spine and whimpered silently.

„Damn it!" Dean had to leave. He had to leave before he'd say something wrong, or he'd do something he would regret afterwards. But he couldn't … he had to get rid of it where it belonged to. … somewhen after Sams question something in Dean decided **not** to wait until he was better … _obviously_. Something in him decided to throw the brick right against the wall where it belonged, before it hit the wrong person. „I thought you are dying, Sam! I thought i'm losin' you!" Dean huffed, his anger bigger than before. „I told you to wait in the car. - Didn't I?" Emerald-green eyes staring holes into Sam.

Sam swallowed again. He didn't understand why Deans emotions had changed that fast … he thought he had done good … Dean had said that he had done good and that he was proud of him, _Didn't he?_ What had changed his mind? … All that Sam had wanted was to save him. Saving Deans life no matter what .. not just because he owed him … because he _liked_ him, _liked him very much_. Liked him so much, that it'd hurt if he would lose him. He didn't want him to die.

Sam didn't knew what to say … Dean was right, he had given him an order, and Sam didn't obey. If he would've dared to do something stupid like that a couple of months ago with the other hunters, he would've been in big trouble. Punishment should be the due.

Sam glued his gaze to the blanked that covered him.

„Didn't I?" Dean was angry at him, he was annoyed and this was all his fault. Sams fault alone.

„Yes, you did." Sam muttered into the blanket.

„Look at me, when i'm talking to you, damn it!" _Damn it_ , he couldn't help it … he knew it was wrong to yell at him, he knew he was hurting him. Not with the words directly, but with the way he was acting. And Dean wanted him to hurt, like he was hurting for suffering the endless torture of caring for someone he loved.

Watery sad hazel-eyes looked at Dean, well hidden under his dark strands of hair.

„You know what?" … Dean asked breathless and hoarse. „I can't do this …. I can't do this right now." … he felt that he was cooling off, but by far not enough. Not enough to stay in one room with Sam, without saying anything else that might've hurt them both more. He had to get out. Get out of the room, getting out of the cabin – _damn it_ – he had to get off of the freaking yard. „I'm sorry, Sammy", he muttered with a deep exhale, before he left the bedroom and slammed the bedroom door shut behind him. Well knowing, that it had to sound like a farewell for the man, that had become his savior.

He hadn't even managed to think about how Dean would react … somehow he had thought it would be different. Somehow easier ... that he would've been glad that Sam came and helped him. Maybe Dean would've been impressed somehow. That Sam wasn't completely useless. He didn't understand what he had done wrong. _Of course Sam thought he knew, what he had done wrong._ The older part of him knew he had disobeyed. But this new part in him, didn't even waste a thought about that anymore. He obviously had lost his ability of what he was allowed to decide on his own and what not … how could this ever happen?

He probably ruined everything for what he had worked so far … _no, scratch that_ … Sam HAD ruined everything. THIS HERE was probably the breaking point. THIS HERE would become, what he had been afraid of, when he first saw Dean and Bobby … _but it hurt_. The thought of these two men hurting him … Dean hurting him … it broke his heart.

Sam curled up on his left side and started to cry. Shedding tears of sadness and hurt … and because he had failed … he had failed so badly that Dean was obviously disappointed in him. Maybe he wouldn't want to keep him anymore … he had yelled at him. Dean had never yelled at him before. Not since he knew him. He was always gentle and soft, he never pushed … He was so contrary to the kind of hunters he knew from his past.

Sams head started to pound and throb like it was going to explode.

… _... to be continued_

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** Chapter 10 ~ Don't Go **

Dean grabbed his heavy leather jacket from the couch and stormed out of the cabin, streight across the short path to Bobby's house.

Bobby was fallen asleep over a couple of old books, trying to translate a summoning ritual they could use to get a hold of Lilith. It was always better to get a demon where you want him, than chasing them across the States just to run into a damn trap at the end.

A knock raised the older hunter from his pleasant dreams. His eyes cracked open and he rubbed his bearded face when a second row of knocks were heard. Bobby sniffed and raised both eyebrows, when the door opened with a creak and a awful looking Dean Winchester occurred in the doorway.

All color left the older hunters face. For a moment his throat closed up on him, not allowing to breath. For a close moment he thought … _Sam was dead_. But then again, as he watched Deans features closely. There was anger, fury and fear and something he wasn't able put his finger on. _Were that tears glittering in the boys eyes?_

„What -" Bobby started, but got stopped by Deans hand palm. „- Would you mind and watch out for Sam for a couple of hours?"

Bobby was too stunned to ask any questions right now. He just watched the younger hunter and nodded with a concerned frown.

„He's concious. - If he's hungry … i've kept up some soup. It's in the cooler." Deans voice went low and took off with a sad smile, leaving the older hunter with a bewildered expression on his face, and sadness in his eyes.

What the hell happened over there? He had thought Dean would be _happy_ , would want to _celebrate_ , when Sam woke up. He had figured that this could get the _best day ever_ in Deans life … but actually it didn't, and Bobby was curious about what had happened. What had made Dean that sad? What could Sam have said to him, that left this lost expression on the younger hunters face?

* * *

it was quite after dawn and the temperature had dropped once more beyond the freezing point, as the low roar of the impala rang out on the yard. Dean was back, and Bobby was already waiting for him. Waiting for his adopted kid on the porch since he had looked for Sam an hour ago, just to find the kid curled up in the furthest corner of the bedroom and muttering senseless words into the fabric of the blanket, wich the older hunter had tugged around the young mans shoulders.

The kid didn't respond when Bobby called out for him after he had entered the cabin. Hell, he didn't even look at the bearded man until he gave him an unmistakable order to do it. Though, Sam refused to tell him what had happened or what was going on. So he figured, he had to wait for Dean to come back home and talk to that ijdit of a knucklehead.

Bobby sat on the porch when the impalas engine roared once more before it calmed down and he stood up, bracing himself for the task at hand. Whatever happened, they had to fix this. Dean had to fix this, because there was no one else who was able to.

Bobby cleared his throat, as the door of the drivers side swung open and a completely drunk Dean Winchester stumbled out of the car. Catching himself before he could kiss the gravel under his feet.

„Dean!", Bobby called out and stopped the hunter, who showed no attempt to catch up with Bobby. If the kid thought he would let him back into the cabin in his condition, then he was wrong. „Dean, Stop." he repeated, when the younger man tried to gesture Bobby aside.

„What?", he asked slurring, sounding on the edge to hysteria.

„What's your problem, son?" he asked with a deep frown.

„None of your business" Dean tried to shove his friend aside.

Bobby closed his hand around Deans wrist in a tight grip to hold him back and let his gaze wander over the swaying form in front of him. _Was that lipstick on Deans collar? … and this scent … Vanilla?_ He haven't seen the hunter drunk like this in months.

„Lemme go" another fruitless attempt to break free.

„I ain't let you go anywhere, Dean." Bobby said through gritted teeth.

„Lemme, or i'll make you." the younger man threatened slurring.

„You won't enter the cabin before you haven't talked to me." The older hunter tightened his grip around Deans wrist. „Before you haven't answered my questions."

„Stuff it. - I've to look after Sam." Dean snarled.

„I won't let you come near him in your condition, boy. - _Not like this._ You already scared the hell outa him." Bobby let go of Deans wrist as the hunter gave him a disturbed look. „What happened back there?"

Dean sniffed and rubbed swaying over his mouth. „I'll fix this, Bobby.", he murmured quietly and tried again to get past the older man, only to be pulled back on the sleeve of his leather jacket.

„You can't fix anything right now. - Sam ain't in any condition to talk." Bobby said, his frown deepening.

Dean swallowed hard and tried to focus on the older mans words. How could he ever leave him alone? _What the hell was he thinking he was doing?_ To yell at Sam like that? Treating him like he owned him, probably giving Sam the feeling that he had failed.

„What's this supposed to mean? Why?" _Ohhh god_ , he had drunk way too much. The last two shots were too much … _no scratch that_ … the last five shots were too much.

„Well, i think you can't call this muttering shit about „ **pleasing, i'm sorry, and following orders** " talkin'. - He damn much reacted as he had a conversation with your father, Son. So tell me, what've you said?" Bobby's voice was hoarse. „You can't treat the kid like this. - Not with his past. Except you want him as a slave and not as a friend." Bobby paused. „He'd do _everything_ for you. **EVERYTHING**. Not because you paid for him _… because you mean something to him._ " Bobby looked aside, before he tugged Deans shoulder to gain attention again as the younger man seemed to trail off with his mind. Bobby's words hit him hard and made him want to throw up. _Right here, right now_. Nausea started to take over him and his face turned pale. Bobby's voice grew softer. „Whatever you said to him …. - Words from the once you love always hurt more as beatings." He paused again to catch up some needed oxygen. „You go back there like this … he'll pretty sure is gonna freak out. - I suggest to get your ass inside my house while I check on Sam and put some more wood into the fireplace. - Meanwhile you get a shower and some fresh clothes. Sleep in the guest room, and tomorrow morning you can try to fix the mess that you created." With these words Bobby disappeared in the darkness behind his home.

Dean stood there for a while in the biting coldness of the night. How bad he wanted to follow the older hunter. How bad he wanted to _check on Sam_ and make it all right again. But he knew he couldn't. Bobby was right with what he had said. There was no reason to scare him even more right now.

SPN ~

Dean hadn't went upstairs into the guestroom. He had stayed in the living room on the couch right where he had crashed in the first place. Thinking over how he could clean up the mess, how he could fix it. But he was far too drunk to catch up with his thoughts. He didn't even know what rode him when he yelled at Sam for safing it, _damn it_. Sam had safed them both in the only way he knew he could safe them from their certain death. Stop them from hurting and torture Dean.

The only thing he knew for sure was, that he had to get his head clear enough to think streight. To get a clue about what he **WANTED**. One thing the hunter knew for sure: he wanted _Sam_. That's where the troubles began. Because Dean was pretty sure that he was streight. That there was no damn sign that he ever been something different from this. He loved girls, _damn it_. **Dean loved girls.** He loved their boobs, their hair, their butts. He loved everything about them. He had needed them like the air to breath … _until he had met Sam._ No week passed, in wich he didn't get at least three nights of fun … _until Sam was there_. Even with the girl from last night … it didn't feel as pleasant as it should've been. As the sex had used to be. Though, she was a pretty woman, long blonde hair, legs reaching into the sky, and boobs … _oh god_ … and then, they were in the middle of the pleasant and important stuff, as Sams dimples and glittering green hazel-eyes crawled their way into his mind. **BOOM** \- everything was over. Blown away by the image of a guy who had become family. He left the woman half naked in the damn Restroom at the bar and hit the road as fast as he was able to.

Proofing to himself that he wasn't streight failed in every possible way. And it was wrong. Not because it would've meant that he was gay (Deans words). It was wrong because it was _Sam_. _Sam_ who got tortured for god knows how long and broken in every single way he could imagine. He had never mentioned anything about it but Dean felt it. He felt it with every flinch and twitch Sam had made, when he got near him. When he touched him, even when it was just for giving comfort. It had taken the young man about a month until he reacted halfway normal at Dean and even longer until the twitching and flinching had stopped.

 _Oh man_ … and this guy was so damn sweet when his cheeks flushed in embarrassment about the dirty jokes Dean was throwing around while watching TV, or any other event he had the chance to. Not mentioning the dimples when Sam smiled. Or his chuckles. _Fuck_ , it was his whole behaviour in general.

And then … with one blow everything should've been gone? When Sam was going to die in his arms, when death threatened to take away that belonged to him? … _belonged to him_ … well, that was another problem there. Sam would probably never understand those kinds of relationships. Or maybe he even would? Sometimes Sam acted like a kid, though he was twenty-six and a full-grown man. Dean knew that there were years missing in Sams life. Years that were lost … this way or another. Finishing school, going to college, falling in love and all the things people were supposed to learn while they grow up. That was when Dean thought he had realized that all his feelings were just wrong. This was a border he didn't want to cross. Sam would be scared to death.

With these thoughts he gave himself into the most comfortable embrace he ever felt – _Nyx_.

* * *

The next morning was a hell of a day. Bright daylight in his face and Bobby yelling his name. Dean didn't deserve better, he knew that. _Fuck_ , and this taste in his mouth … just like an animal crawled in and died.

„Dean, _damn it_!" Bobby's voice came from the kitchen, guided by the most familiar smell of breakfast. „Get your ass up. - I'm checking on Sam. - and you better not smell like vanilla anymore when i come back!"

 **SAM**. That's what got him back among the living. Bobby was heading to the cabin and he had to get his ass up and follow the man.

„And nope. You're not commin' with!" like the old man was able to read his mind. „I'm checkin' first and then I'm lettin' ya know how he's doin'"

Dean swallowed. Had it really been that bad? … and … _ohhh god,_ his head hurt like a bitch. He let himself back on the couch, when he heard the front door shut and let out a deep moan. He didn't remember much … _just a girl_ … Cassy?, Candy?, Corry? … _nevermind_ … and the things he were thinking before he fell asleep. Now, by daylight, everything seemed much more difficult.

* * *

The older hunter shivered. The cold air gave him the chills and he was happy, when he entered the cabin. He had kept the fire in the small fireplace alive over night. Bobby opened slowly the door to the cabin and with five long strides he was in front of the bedroom door and listened. No sobbing, no crying, no muttering … now that sounded promising. The hunter turned the knob and let the door slide open to get a look at the inside. The bed was as he left it – _untouched_. Also was the man he had checked on a couple of hours ago. Sam rested on the floor – still in the corner – covered by a huge amount of blankets and sheets, a dark shock of hair lurking out of it.

Bobby sighed, when his gaze fell on the untouched bowl with chicken soup in front of the mans sleeping place. Sam?" he asked carefully after he had watched a small movement under the blankets.

The shock of hair moved and after a several moments a face appeared. Bobby smiled, though the kid seemed bewildered. „Dean's back home." Bobby said, waiting for a reaction.

Sam looked up … of course he had recognized that Dean didn't come back again during the night. He had figured it was because of him, and if he had come back he would've rather spent the night in Bobby's house then here with him.

„He okay?" Sams voice was still hoarse and sounded weak as hell.

Bobby nodded. „He didn't want to wake you yesterday night …" _ohhh yes_ , that was a damn lie, and Bobby knew it.

Sam nodded. „I know you're lying.", not letting the hunter out of his watch.

The older man cleared his throat. „ … well … you got me."

„He's still mad, isn't he?" … _and he deserved punishment for his disobedience._

Bobby stepped closer and stopped when Sam inched backwards. „He ain't. - He was worried, that's all. He didn't sleep a lot the past few days and Dean Winchester is that kind of guy who can't control his temper when it comes to those he loves."

Sam looked down on himself, sealing his look with the brown colored sheet.

„I tell you what, Son. - He's gonna bring ya breakfast, and then you both talk." Bobby suggested with a weak smile.

Something like fear crossed Sams features. „I've failed. I disobeyed.", he muttered and looked up to face the older man. „I am supposed to follow his orders and I didn't." … i deserve to be punished.

Bobby frowned. He wasn't good at this stuff. _Damn it._ Talking about feelings and all … he was rather the type to drown them in a bottle of blue label. „Look Sam. - I'm shure this is half as bad as you might think. - I know Dean since he was small, and honestly? - I'm surprised he didn't have one of his tantrums in weeks, boy." The older man cleared his throat again and squatted down.

Long minutes passed in silence. Bobby didn't know what to do, _what to say._ He wasn't the type for chick-flick-moments at all. The things he wanted to say, the things he wanted to explain … he had no idea how to tell them, how to sugar coat them … how not to worsen this situation any further.

* * *

Dean leaned in the doorway from the kitchen as Bobby got back into the house. Questioning green emerald-eyes waiting for him. Waiting to say _something_.

„I think he's doing better.", Bobby said and passed by the younger hunter, going streight to the dresser beside the sink and started to prepair a plate with breakfast.

Dean gazed after his old friend, well recognizing that Bobby avoided eye contact. He swallowed and took a deep breath before he wanted to say something … _but what could he say?_ Bobby seemed so disappointed, somehow _hurt_? A fact that led him to the conclusion that Sam wasn't doing as well as his friend had said.

„You think … you think i can check on him?" Dean said low and held his breath for a moment. He had never been a man who questioned himself. _Ever_. But in this particular situation … _damn it_ , he never felt so insecure as in these days.

Bobby nodded and put an extra share of bacon on the plate. „Just – just be careful." He muttered. „I told him, that you didn't mean it, boy." Followed by a short pause. „Whatever you both were arguing about."

Dean shook his head in repentance, unrecognized by the older man. „We weren't arguing. - You can't argue with Sam." he sighed and made a step towards the dresser. „I yelled at him, Bobby. - And he didn't even say a word." _… just looked at me with sad big eyes, trying to hide the tears behind long bangs of dark soft hair._ „I was just ...-"

„What?", Bobby asked loud, before he cleared his throat and turned towards his younger friend. „You were what, boy? Pissed at yourself for running streight into a trap? Pissed that Sam dared to save your ass? - What were you exactly?"

„Afraid of losing him, Bobby." Dean murmured silently.

 _Idjits_ … he had to be in hell – What the hell was this? Some kind of bad joke? Got he bumped into a parallel universe and this was a freaking soap opera? … _oh wait, no – this was life with a Winchester. Honestly_ , right now, he wanted to talk about feelings when Bobby tried to keep them down and drown them in a bottle of wiskey later? „The way you tried to tell him that didn't work."

Dean nodded. He knew that already and blamed himself for letting his temper overwhelm him.

With another sigh, Bobby turned back towards the sideboard, to grab the tablet with the plate, juice,water and handled it over to his younger friend. „Just don't … don't mess this up, OK?"

The younger hunter nodded with an anguished smile.

* * *

_There he stood._ In front of the cabins entrance, trying to figure out what to say. Dean stood there for already fifteen minutes. He'd have to warm the coffee and the food up anyways, so what would a couple of minutes count?

„Get the fuck in there!", Bobby yelled from one of the windows on the first floor.

Dean startled and nearly dropped the tablet, but didn't turn around the face the older man. Instead he managed to turn the doorknob and entered the cabin. It was pretty warm in there. Bobby must've looked a couple of times for the fireplace during the night. To his astonishment, he saw Sam curled up on the couch and staring out of the window behind the TV.

He was still sore, but the pain he had felt earlier this morning wasn't that bad anymore. All that was left was a headache with a side of dizziness.

 _Now or never_ , Sam thought, _he wouldn't be able to gather that much strength again, if it wasn't for now._ When the door of the cabin opened and Dean stepped in, he rose from the couch before the hunter would have any chance to say something.

„Dean." he said … he already had made it up in his mind. He just had to get over with it. Telling the hunter what he had planned to say and accepting what ever may come.

The young hunter looked at him, fixing Sams eyes in his gaze. „Look _Sam_ ..." he definitely wanted to be the first one to talk.

„Please, don't. - … Just listen to me." Sam said and swallowed down the lump of fear in his throat. Dean nodded as his knuckles turned white from the tight grip on the tablet. „I thought about what happened … _and_ … i realized that i transgressed my boundaries. - I disobeyed, and disregarded your orders." Sams voice was steady and calm. No sign of emotion or feeling Dean would've been able to put his finger on. „I forgot where i belong. _Where my place is._ All i can say is, that it won't happen again … and … _Whatever_ punishment you've foreseen for me , i will accept it." A wave of dizziness rolled over him as the throbbing pain in his head increased.

As Sam had ended his little speech, Dean was already as pale as the faint cover of mist in the yard. Sam had definitely spent a lot of time with overthinking what had happened. _Too much time obviously_. He didn't want to make Sam feel like an Item, like _something_ that had to work no matter what. Like _something_ that belonged to someone else. He was human, and _making mistakes is in fact something that makes you human._

Dean looked down on the tablet and swallowed. „There'll be no punishment, Sam." he started quietly, „there's nothing you did wrong." The hunter sighed and put the tablet on the dresser besides the door. „I didn't mean what i said. - I was just … i was so raw and … it was hard for me … you know … I … i thought you're dying on me. - I was so glad, when you woke up yesterday, and i was pissed because i brought you out to the barn with me. That you weren't waiting in the car, and got in danger." Dean paused, and looked on the ground. „I was just … you know … it was just too much of everything."

Sam watched the hunter in astonishment and started to fumble with his fingers in the pocket of his hoody. „You're not mad?" This was all just confusing as hell. First he did good, then he had failed and disobeyed, and now everything seemed fine again?

„No, Sam. How could I?" Dean smiled softly, but his voice covered in guilt … well this seemed to be easier than Dean thought … „You saved my sorry ass back there, _Sam_. I'd be dead if you wouldn't have come for me."

Sams headache began to spike and the more he tried to shove it away, the harder it rumbled back in. The young man squeezed his eyes shut in agony and pressed one of his hand on his temple to try and push it back. That was when another wave of vertigo hit him with brutal force. He felt that the room started swaying and before his legs could give out, two strong hands grabbed him and eased him down on the couch.

 _Oh god, this hurt like a bitch._ But Sam knew it would go away. Just another few days and all the symptoms should be gone.

„ _Sammy_?", he heard Deans hoarse voice thru the mist of pain. „What's wrong?"

He couldn't answer, _he just had to wait_. Dean just had to wait until it would be over.

„Talk to me, Sam. - You gotta talk to me." the hunter demanded. „ _Please_."

„Just my head." Sam hissed and he felt as firmly but gentle hands guided him down slowly. „It'll go away."

The same hands slipped under Sams head and eased him up, just to lower him down again. He felt a soft surface rubbing against his jaw and a decent a scent of oil, leather and whiskey invaded his nostrils. A hand lowered on his head and rubbed gentle circles on his temple. Sam put one of his hands on the soft surface, to get the surprised feeling of denim on his palm. _Deans jeans._

„You need to eat something.", Dean said with concern in his voice. „Then i'll get you some pain-meds" His words seemed unheard and Dean left it be for the moment.

Sam started to relax under the soft touch of the hunter and curled up on the couch, so that his legs were able to rest on it too as he snuggled into the soft denim.

„Better?", Dean asked without remembering how long they stayed there in this position. He didn't get an answer but sensed, that Sam felt more comfortable. He watched the younger mans face for quite a time and smiled softly when he ran his fingers thru Sam's tender hair over and over again. His gaze brushed over Sams flushed cheekbones, his closed eyes and the tender flesh of his neck. _How was he able to hurt someone precious like him?_

Sam moaned in disagreement when Dean stopped caressing his hair and temples, _afraid_ that the pain would spike again, _afraid_ that Dean would leave and wouldn't come back.

„I'll be right back. You gotta eat somethin'" Dean slipped away under his head and disappeared out of Sams sight. He would've prefered to stay with him, but he also knew how important it was to get him something to eat.

„No, please. - Don't" Sam whispered. „ _Please, stay._ "

_... to be continued_

* * *

**Chapter 11 ~ Touch**

Days gone by and Sam did remarkable better. At least physically. Dean sensed that something wasn't right with him. Of course nothing was right with him and until now, Dean tried to ignore the fact that the man with whom he lived under one roof, had one hell of a past … not mentioning the nightmares that carried on since day one.

Dean started to understand what his nightmares were about. _The things Sam said in his sleep, the things Sam tried to fight off …_ Dean had known it was nothing pleasant. He knew that things back there with these hunters happened - Sam wouldn't be able to forget in a lifetime. Fact was that Sam seemed to sleep calmer when Dean was with him. These days Sam went to bed with Dean. After the younger man had slept a couple of nights on the floor beside Deans sleeping place in the living-room, the hunter had decided that it didn't matter where they slept, since they ended up in the same bad anyways. So both of them shared the queensize-bed from now on. Sam curled up with his back against Deans warm chest, what felt like the safest place on earth for him and Dean wrapped his strong arms in a protective gesture around the young man every night.

* * *

It was one of these bad nights - they were not even two hours asleep, when Dean slowly reached the surface of awareness. It took him just a split second to notice what had woken him. The shivering, sobbing man in his arms, clinging to his arms as if his life depended on it.

„ _Shshsh_ … it's okay. I'm here … _no one's gonna hurt you, Sam_.", it was already a mantra he was used to hum every night. The same words and soothing caressing of Sams back or chest. Rubbing circles wherever he was able to anchor him.

„ _No, please … don't … please_.", a whining whisper between sobs. „ _Master … please … please_."

Yeah, Dean knew this one all to good. One of Sams baddest nightmares by far. The day after this kind of dreams he flinched and twitched because of nearly everything. This kind of dreams made Sam even more clinging and bewildered. These were the days when Sam spent most of the day on the couch or outside on the porch. It wasn't just once, that Dean had to get him inside because he had fallen asleep in the yard.

„Hey hey hey. _Sammy_ , c'mon. I'm here, it's alright, you hear me? It's alright … i'm gonna look out for you." Dean broke his mantra, when Sams sobbing an whining got louder. „don't do this. - let it go.", he murmured gently as Sam started to dig his fingernails into his own bicep, leaving dark red marks. „Sam. Stop it." The hunter forced his eyes open and tried to catch Sams wrists to stop him from hurting himself. „ _Sammy_!" Dean rose his voice. „I said **stop IT**!"

Sam took a harsh inhale and his eyes snapped open. „i'm sorry, Dean. I'm sorry. _Please_ ...", he whimpered sobbingly. „help me … _please help me_."

„Come here." Dean eased his grip and let the younger man turn around, so that his ear rested over Deans heart. „i gotcha. - It's ok, Sam."

Sam let one of his arms rest over the hunters waist and grabbed with the other one for his t-shirt when Dean pulled their covers back up over Sams shoulders and let his hand rest on Sams neck. „No one is gonna hurt you ever again. _I promise_." The young hunter sniffed on the verge of tears, when he felt the wetness soaking thru his t-shirt.

* * *

The next morning was pretty much screwed up, as soon as Dean put his feet out of the bed. Sam refused to get up, curled up under the covers. … nothing what the hunter didn't suspect, but it still hurt like hell and tore on his nerves.

He waited until lunch as they should meet up with Bobby. Dean had done some research on his laptop, looking for a job – or at least thought about it. Actually he didn't get done anything all the way since his thoughts were traveling towards the man in his bedroom. He wasn't sure what this all meant. What his _feelings_ for him meant … **however** … Dean knew that there would be no way, that this man could get something like his partner … yeah, like _PARTNER_ **partner**. Sam would probably understand any kind of intimate touch or flirtation as some kind of wish or worse … a _n indirect order._

Anyways. It was time to team up with Bobby for lunch and studying some of his old books. The old man hadn't found a way to summon Lilith herself yet, what made it even more important to get a hold of the demon who held the hunters journal. _Colts hunters journal._

Dean sighed and pushed away from the table after he shut down the laptop and make his way over to the bedroom where he sat down on the edge of the bed. Sam had twisted himself up in covers, his head hidden somewhere beneath. The hunter frowned as he watched the bulk and the slow and steady rise and fall of the blanket. Sam seemed to be asleep _again_.

„ _Sammy_?", Dean asked low. „It's time to wake up. Bobby's waiting for us."

A slight movement under the covers showed Dean that he probably wasn't as deep asleep as he thought Sam was. He knew Sam didn't want to. It was just a bad day and he knew that it was better, if he'd let him be. _But on the other hand_ … he couldn't. Sam would spend the whole day without food or something to drink and it definitely didn't help his recovery to do so. So Dean laid a gentle hand on the bulk and stroke it softly. „C'mon Sam." He bent down slightly, and pulled the cover slowly back. „Time for you to get up, kiddo."

Dean smiled as the crazy mob of hair appeared first and sleepy hazel-eyes followed. Sam looked so sweet when he was still drunk from sleep and his eyes seemed big and innocent, though full of knowledge and life.

The younger man freed one of his hands and turned towards the hunter, staring at him for some time. Watching the soft expression in those big emerald-orbs and deep dimples around the hunters eyes and lips as he smiled. He raised his hand slowly and followed the urge to track along the dimples around the older mans eyes with his fingertips. Gently and soft, as he was made of glass, unbearable to break him. Sams palm spread across the hunters cheek and Dean closed his eyes, leaning into the gentle touch.

„I like your eyes.", Sam said with hoarse voice. „I like you." Dean inhaled the mans decent scent. His touch sent a tingly feeling over the hunters skin and his husky voice put him on edge … _to do something stupid_. He couldn't kiss this man. He couldn't touch him like he wanted to, feeling his lips and pulling him closer until they were _one_.

The hunter blinked his eyes open. „That doesn't mean, that i'll let you stay in bed all day long, Sammy", his voice husky and sensual. **What the hell, Dean? That's all you have to say about this?** A voice in his mind blurted hacking. His gaze met Sams irritated look and Dean cleared his throat. „C'mon. Bobby's waiting.", and with this words Dean escaped from the mans touch and stood up. „Grab a shower, and then we'll go.", were his last words without looking back as he shut the bedroom door from the outside., leaving a completely confused Sam behind.

„Dude." Dean exhaled and leaned his forehead against the bedroom door, one hand still on the knob.

 **Go back in there and tell him, that you love him. Damn it, what the fuck is wrong with you?** The voice in his mind grizzled eager. „I can't.", Dean whispered silently to himself. **You're a freakin' Winchester, man! Handle it like a Winchester!**

He heard the bed squeak and slow footsteps towards the bathroom inside the room, what actually made him aware that he should grab some fresh clothes for himself … including getting himself back under control, as he looked down on himself as a glance flew over the zipper of his jeans.

* * *

Sam never took long in the shower and so he emerged, wearing fresh clothes - after about half an hour - from the bedroom with flushed cheeks and obviously avoiding to look into Deans eyes.

„You ready?", the hunter asked with a light smile on his face.

Sam nodded and followed him a few steps behind to Bobby's house, where they had their lunch. Bobby recognized the awkward silence between the both of them immediately. Sam was never the a talker, but his flushed cheeks and bowed posture were something the older hunter haven't noticed on him yet. _And Dean_ … Dean didn't talk a lot either. They ate their lunch in silence, both men helped him to clean up afterwards and went into Bobby's living-room, where he had some books stacked on his desk.

They spent hours with reading and skipping thru the old literatures, until Sam looked up. His look darted between Dean and Bobby considering if he should tell them about his idea.

„Can i make a suggestion?", Sam asked hesitantly.

Both hunters looked up and shared a short glance before their gaze headed towards Sam.

„Shoot, kiddo." Bobby raised both of his eyebrows.

„We could summon a demon.", Sam began hesitantly.

„That's what we're trying to figure out here, Sherlock" Dean replied a bit snippy, since he wasn't in the best mood anymore. At least other than the other two guys in the room. Because Dean was in no condition after this morning to get thru all that stuff without thinking about the guy on the couch towards him, who avoided every kind of eye contact. Though Dean was able to feel his looks at times and when he looked back, Sam looked away. **This is so girly!**

Sams gaze fell on the floor between his feet. „A crossroads demon ... and we could ask him for the other demons name … the one who has the journal. - And when we have the other demons real name. W-w-we could use one of the summoning spells … maybe Bobby could rewrite and adjust it …" He looked up streight into Deans deep green glistening eyes and then to Bobby behind the table.

Both hunters looked stunned at the young man and after a few moments a broad smile built on Deans face. „That's _my boy_."

„You guys will need a damn good plan to get along like this. - We're talking about demons here, boys. That's not a game." Bobby looked gruffly and shook his head „But it's more than we had before i guess." and nodded.

Sam smiled a little bit. „I'll be there. It'll be OK. - The other hunters used me for things like that. I – I had to keep them in the bodies when my Masters went after them."

Dean raised an eyebrow and laid all his disagreement into his look and features. A wave of disgust washed over him. He would never use Sam for something _like that_. Not without his consent and even then he would feel horribly guilty. But at some point Sam was right … he'd be able to hold the demon inside the host and if they were lucky enough, the first one would know the demons name.

* * *

Thirteen days had passed … And six wasted crossroads-demons later they found themselves again in Bobby's garage with the seventh demon, who was tied down with demon-proof leather-straps to a wooden demon-proof chair. Most of the engravings on the straps and the chair weren't visible anymore, since a lot of dried blood covered them.

Dean circled the chair, the demon-killing-knife in one hand and his baretta in the other one. They had done quite a show yet on the possessed man, but he still refused to tell them what they wanted to know. Dean was the one to ask the questions, while Sam was supposed to torture the bastard from the inside out.

„Go on, Sam. - Show him what you're capable of ...", Dean said with an evil grin. They weren't closer to the demon who held the damn _journal_. Most of them didn't knew who held it and those who knew didn't tell. But they found out that they were more talkative when Sam pulled his stunts on them and squeezed the shit out of the demons.

Sam emerged of the shadows, his face well hidden in the darkness of the night. Here and there lightened a simple glimpse of his orbs - in the bare light of a couple of candles - up. They had worked out a couple of „save-words" and „code-words" in case that anything would go wrong. Mainly because Dean was worried about the younger mans condition. All the torturing of demons and the applying of his abilities wore him out. Slowly but steady. And Dean saw it. He had decided for himself that this would be the last demon for a couple of days they'd tie down to this chair. Sam had to regain some of his strength and rest. Even when he was the one who pushed them to get over with it.

The demon began to cough and convulse in the chair, screaming and struggling until Sams arm sank down and let off.

Dean took another circle around the chair. „We can go on like this for days, bitch.", he threatened relaxed. „We. Want. A. Name."

* * *

It was in the early morning hours when Dean carried Sam bridal style up on Bobby's porch. The door opened immediately and Bobby let them in. Sams dead weight tore on the hunters muscles and he was relived, when he laid the exhausted man on the couch in Bobby's living-room.

„Dude, i told you to use the _code-words_." Dean cursed while he was trying to get much needed oxygen into his lungs.

„'told 'u." The younger man rolled his eyes. „what about, _i think the demon is on_ **meltdown** , isn't clear enough."

Dean chuckled through his panting breaths. „Well, _Sasquatch_ … if he would've been, you wouldn't have fainted.", and he sat back on the small table beside him.

„I didn't _faint_." Sam responded with low voice.

„Painkillers?", Bobby called into the living-room.

Sam nodded towards the older hunter who stood in the doorway and gave him a weak smile, before he covered his eyes with his lower arm. „At least we have a name."

„We'll kick greedy's ass as soon as you're back on your feet." Dean patted Sams shoulder.

„Creidhne", reformed Sam and let his arm sliding down beside him to look at the hunter. „What?" Dean asked and made a grimace. „It's not greedy, it's Creidhne", Sam repeated. „That's important when we summon her."

„Whatever.", the hunter surveyed Sams eyes. Sometimes he had the feeling he could drawn in them. His gaze went down the young mans body and wandered back up to his eyes. There were so many things Dean wanted to tell him, and so many he didn't dare to. Because whatever this was what they shared … _it was special nonetheless_. Even if he could never have what was right in front of him. - There was nothing Dean wouldn't do for him.

So, instead of telling Sam how much he meant to him, and that even this little incident made him worry about the younger man … „Coke?", Dean asked with a smile.

Sam nodded and watched the hunter leave until he disappeared in the kitchen. His whole body felt sore and hurt like hell. When Dean finally had left and Sam was sure he wasn't anywhere near him, he let out a deep moan. The last demon was a bitch. Probably someone in the higher ranks. Or it was just his exhaustion that had made this exorcism more tiring as usual.

After Sam got his painkillers and coke and Dean his beer, they shared their insights with Bobby before they went back into the cabin.

Dean had one arm wrapped around Sams waist, while Sam had one over Deans shoulder to steady him on his way back to the cabin. The hunter lead the young man into the direction of the couch and smiled as he guided him down. Sam immediately curled up and leaned against Deans side, snuggling into his shoulder.

The hunter put an arm around him and leaned his chin against his head. „Are you alright?", he asked, when he felt the younger man shiver in his grasp. Sam nodded into his shoulder and pressed tighter against him, against the _warmth_ radiating from Deans body.

* * *

As Sam woke up, he was alone and cold and his head hurt more then hours before. But worst of all: _he was alone_. He tried to focus and get over the pounding pain in his head as he opened his eyes to check on his surroundings. He found himself sprawled out on the couch (at least as sprawled as possible, since the couch was way too short for the 6"4 man.) Sam tried to listen thru the pain, thru the drums in his head, listen for any movement in the cabin. But there was none.

On the table before him was a glass with water and two small white pills beside it. He eyed them for a while and sighed. His vision went fuzzy as he sat up slowly, steadying himself with one hand on the soft surface of the couch and with the other one on the backrest. Then he tried to recall the past hours to figure out where Dean could've gone. Usually the hunter left him a note or something. But obviously not this time. There was just the glass with water and the painkillers … _but no note._

Sam decided, that he didn't need the painkillers, he'd survive the headache like he had months ago without any kind of medication. He glanced at the clock on the wall. His vision was still fuzzy and everything danced in front of his eyes,. But after a couple of what felt like never ending minutes, he figured out that it was quite past three p.m. Maybe Dean had went to bed to catch up with the lack of sleep, since the couch wasn't very comfortable for two men …

„Dean?", he asked, followed by a sharp intake of air thru his gritted teeth. His own voice echoed thru his head and let the pain underneath his tembles spike.

Sam walked swaying into the kitchen, leaning himself against every surface that was within his reach to steady himself. _Probably the painkillers weren't a bad idea at all._ It was slow and unclear. His vision blurred like he had a couple of drinks too much and still … he had to get something to eat before he'd take the pills. The exorcism were wearing him out and letting his blood sugar drop every time.

Finally he reached the fridge and took a deep inhale as nausea rolled over him, one hand already on the handle. Then, everything went south, when a sudden wave of dizziness hit him and his mind got carried away into the blackness.

* * *

The sinkhole seemed – good six feet - deep, so Dean climbed out of it and took a couple of deep breaths, while he looked at the boneless body of the demon they ended this morning. The hunter went around and shoved the dead weight to the edge of the hole before he gave him an ungentle kick and the corpse landed with a low „ _thump_ " inside.

It took another hour until he had the grave closed again … „Shower" he muttered to himself. „Shower and something to eat.", yeah that sounded great.

Dean flexed his aching muscles and headed back towards the cabin, _towards Sam_. It was odd how weird it felt not to be with him … at some point the hunter was doubting his own mental condition, when he thought about Sam and what had happened earlier between them both. The soft touch of Sams fingertips and hand on his face. Alone thinking about it filled him with a comforting warmth and put a smile on his dirty face. Maybe there was a small chance, that Sam liked him the way Dean liked Sam … **Stop it! Don't think any further, you don't wanna walk in there with an erection** , the voice in his mind called out, **you don't wanna scare the living shit out of Sam if he recognizes.**

To be honest … Dean was struggling with this topic. Ever since he thought about it, it were _GIRLS_. Boobs and full red lips. Nothing more nothing less. _And now?_ Now everything was different. The past months were different and Dean didn't remember when it had happened. When did he fall in love with the guy he bought on the auction? … and why the hell had it to be him? The kid had mentioned, that he didn't remember a lot of the time before the hunters took him. He knew he had parents and sisters and that they were dead. He knew he was happy back then … the rest was blurry and didn't make sense. That was why Dean doubted that the man even knew – though he was a grown up – what „ **love** " was. The real thing with all the chick-flick-stuff and _love_ and _more_ _love_ … and _sex_.

How did it come, that he didn't miss that? How was it even possible, that **Dean Winchester** haven't get laid ever since he was with Sam? Probably because he didn't have the need to go after any random chick in a bar. Maybe because he was happy with Sam the way it was right now. And there was still the touching and cuddling and snuggling, Dean would never admit in public that this had ever happened. Because he was a freaking Winchester and Winchesters didn't cuddle or snuggle … or any other girly stuff, girls and gays (Deans words) did.

Dean took a deep breath and pulled himself back to reality before he entered the cabin. His first look into the room was towards the couch. It was empty and the full glass of water and the pills beside it where still there. He raised an eyebrow and his jaw clenched.

„ _Sam_?", he called out alarmed.

„Yeah" a weak voice rang out from the kitchen and Dean noticed a slight movement out of the corners of his eyes.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 12 ~ Don't Hurt Me**

Sam sat on on the chair by the kitchen table and tilted his head back, a towel with cold water pressed to his forehead as Dean entered the room while his eyes darted around in fury.

„What the hell, Sam?", the hunters voice dropped as his gaze fell on the towel and a couple of bloodstains on the table. With two long strides he was in front of him and kneeled down.

„Must've hit my h-h-head … and m-m-my nose ...", the younger man stuttered.

The hunter cupped Sams left cheek in his hands and put the other one on his hand where he held the towel in place. „What happened?" he asked and guided Sams hand down.

„Passed out." Sam answered quietly and tried to breathe thru his nose but failed.

Dean checked on the bruise and a light bulb on Sams forehead, then his nose. _Just a nosebleed._ Then he held two fingers up in front of Sams eyes. „How many fingers?", he asked serious and held his hand in front of Sams eyes.

„You mean the two of your left or the two of the right hand?", and Sam chuckled, putting on a naughty grin.

„I'm not joking, **Sam**. That ain't funny." the hunter replied with threatening voice. „What were you doing?"

„Just … i just wanted to get something to eat." Sam answered. „I was starving.", his voice now lower with guilt over the edge.

„Huuu, okay, we can do that." Dean stood up and went over to the fridge, patching up a fast sandwich.

„Bobby get the spell done yet?", Sam asked and took a deep breath thru his mouth. _Oh god_ his head hurt even more now.

„No." Dean answered and cut the sandwich – with brutal force - in two halves. „You were supposed to stay on the couch, you know?"

Sam sighed and nodded. „It's not a big deal. You know it happens all the time afterwards."

„Well, for me it is a big deal. - You could've hurt yourself worse." Dean was pissed, _he could tell_ , definitely pissed. Sometimes he acted strange, Sam thought, like he was his owner. And yeah, of course Dean was something like his owner since he had bought him. Though he acted a bit weird lately. The past couple of days Dean was always gone when he woke up. The place beside him on the bed almost cold. _Dean was different lately._ Though … some things were still the same, he let him feel safe in his arms, he still let him cuddle up against him. .. But though, it felt different now, and Sam was asking himself if Dean didn't want him anymore.

The plate with two lovely Sandwiches, that landed in front of him (a little bit harsher as Dean wanted) tore him away from his thoughts. „Thank you." Sam eyed the sandwiches for a moment.

They ate in silence. Dean headed for a shower, after he had put Sam back on the couch with one of the warm blankets from the bedroom and smiled appreciating as he found him still there when he returned.

„Already chosen a movie?", Dean asked and sat beside Sam, who was buried in one of Bobby's old books with a latin name.

The younger man looked up and the hunter recognized that the wheels Sams head were spinning like crazy until he snapped out of wherever he had been.

„I thought about this one?", Sam held a DVD towards the hunter and watched him. „Moulin Rouge" „I thought you might like this one?" _Of course he would like it … half naked women and stuff …._

Dean raised his eyebrows and chuckled. „Yeah, i might like this one. - But i wanted you to pick one." he cleared his throat. „It doesn't matter to me. I've seen them all already." … yeah and the once he had hidden since Sam was with him wouldn't interest him anyways.

„I think i've seen none of them yet … so it doesn't matter to me either." Sam gave back and watched with big almond eyes as Dean unpacked the DVD and inserted it into the player. „I'm not shure if you're gonna like this one ...", Dean murmured. „Can you remember any movies except those you've already watched with me?"

Sam looked down on himself and shook his head in embarrassment.

„Well then … - I guess we'll have some time to catch up, until Bobby figured out a spell." The hunter grinned and a cheeky sparkle flushed thru his eyes. „AND we need popcorn and chips, Sammy. - That's going to be so much fun." Dean smiled and let out a short laughter.

„Bobby is smart. It won't last that long i think." Sam looked up, as Dean sat back beside him and took the remote.

Dean chuckled. „Yeah he's. - Like you.", he glanced over at the younger man. **Dean Winchester, get your shit together.**

Sam blushed and smiled embarrassed before he inched closer to Dean and threw the blanket over both of their labs and legs. _Safe_.

In the middle of „ _Singin' in the Rain_ " Dean got tired. Really tired, tired enough to just closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. Sams head rested in his lab, his long arms curled around his tight, as the light of the TV let the colors in his hazel-eyes dance like crazy, letting them sparkle in the dim light of the room.

„Sammy?", Dean asked hoarse.

The young man let go of his leg and turned on his back to face the hunter. „Tired?", Sam asked and sat up beside him.

Dean nodded, his eyes on half-mast. „Yeah, a little bit. - besides i know the movie from the inside out. So ..." _Bed_. He needed a _bed_ to spread out.

Sam inched back on the other end of the couch and collected the blanket in his lab. He patted on the couch and earned a short chuckle for it. Dean swung his legs onto the soft surface, as Sam had stood up to give him more space to stretch his legs out. It was like the couch was made for the hunter, at least it was as long as him, when he put his head on the side-lean.

Sam covered him with the blanket and sat on the floor in front of the couch and pulled his legs to up until he was able to rest the chin on his knees. Short after that, Dean started to snore silently and the younger man turned around, kneeling beside the couch to watch him.

It was fascinating how peaceful Dean looked, when he was asleep. His dimples nearly unseen in the damp light. Sam rested his forearms on the edge of the couch and supported his head on them, while he watched _him_ instead of the movie. After a long while he let himself down on the floor and curled up until he movie was over and Sam switched it off. As if recognized the change, Dean shifted into a more comfortable position, so that he laid in the middle of the couch. Sam was thinking about heading into the bedroom and leaving Dean on the couch … _but then again …_

Sam settled himself on the floor, leaning his back against the couch and started to think about _stuff_ … actually he didn't really recognize the movies Dean had chosen. He was thinking … thinking about the spell, thinking about what books he could read to find a hint on a hint. But _mainly_ he was thinking about Dean and his deep green eyes and what it felt like touching his dimples … and what it would feel like to touch his beautiful pink lips.

„Hey – come up, Sammy." a husky voice cut thru his thoughts.

Sam did as he was told and sneaked under the blanket without hesitation. The pale moonlight drowning in Deans green eyes and gave them a slight silver-blue touch. Sam rested his head on Deans arm and shoved himself up until he was facing him. So he could dive into the hunters eyes, wich were shimmering like liquid crystals. Dean caught his look and smiled gently as the younger man exhaled softly and laid his hand on Deans neck, tracing a string of muscles towards his jaw. Soft fingertips caressed the hunters cheeks and sent shivers of pleasure thru his body. The older man responded to the gentle touch and ran his hand thru Sams soft hair on the back of his head, as Sam traced his fingers along Deans temple. Sam closed his eyes, his lips parted slightly and he leaned into the hunters touch, inching closer with his body to feel the comfortable warmth.

Dean wrapped his free arm around Sams waist and pulled him closer until he felt the younger mans body against him. The younger man opened his eyes again with a silent moan and tilted his head aside, while he surveyed Deans face with gentle fingertips. He let them run over his lower lip and the hunter took a deep and slow inhale. He tilted his head forward, leaning against Sam and letting his intuition take control. Dean brushed with his nose against Sams, wo let his hand rest on the hunters cheek, hazel-eyes consuming him. The warmth in his arms felt beyond good, the scent of popcorn, chips and something that was definitely Sam irrupted his nose, letting him take another deep breath before his lips met the young mans forehead. Seconds of joy flooded thru the hunter, when he pressed his lips tighter against the soft skin. Then he moved downwards, guiding his lips along Sams nose towards his lips. Sams breath hitched and his eyes fluttered close as the hunter reached his silken and tender cushions. He caressed them, teased before he let them sink into Sams, kissing him gently and waiting for the young man to respond. And Sam did. He fell against deans body as he returned the kiss, giving Dean a reason to try and pull him even closer, when he parted his lips to let the hunter tongue in. Both of their eyes closed, swaying somewhere between here and there, not letting go of each other.

Dean shifted slowly until he laid underneath the younger man, taking him on top of him while he never stopped kissing him carefully and softly. Sams arms wrapped around Deans neck, to steady himself and pulling himself up a little more to get better access. The hunters hand slipped under Sams hoody, caressing the soft skin underneath and made him respond to his gentle touch as Sams hips started to move against the hunters.

Then … _everything was over_. With one fast motion Sam pulled back and backed away from Deans lips, the hunters body and the couch. It took Dean a couple of seconds to get his senses together again. „Sam?", he asked, his voice husky and his lips swollen.

„I'm sorry, Dean.", came a shaky excuse nearly immediately. Dean could hear the embarrassment in the young mans voice.

„Why?" he didn't realize … he couldn't … and with one big **boom** guilt crept into his mind. „It's okay, Sammy. Nothing happened ..."

Sam inched backwards on his buttocks and shoved the table aside with his back, until he had reached the wall beside the TV.

Dean swung his legs from the couch and switched the small lamp on the side-table on, to get some light into the room. Then he followed him, kneeling down in front of Sam and cupping his face in his hands.

 _No, no no no no no no no no …_ he should've known. He should've stopped _this_ … „Sammy, c'mon, talk to me."

Sam let out a sob as his breath hitched into a silent whining. His cheeks flushed fromt he warmth under the blanket _or because of embarrassment_ … Dean couldn't tell until the younger man moved his hands protectively over his private parts. „I'm sorry Dean, really.", he sobbed, tears trickling down his cheeks.

The hunter followed Sams gesture and looked insecure for a moment … at least it wasn't what he thought it was. What meant, he didn't mess this up. **Now give a compelling explanation without scaring him further, Winchester. FAST!**

Dean slid down on the wall beside Sam and laid a hand on his knee. „You know that this is okay, do you?" he asked warily and shot a glance towards there, where Sams hands rested. **You'll need something better than this, Dean, c'mon dude!**

Sam shook his head, still didn't dare to look up.

„ _Sam_ " he waited for something.

„They said that it's bad. - I am not allowed to.", he stuttered under sobs. „I'm really sorry. _Honestly_ , Dean."

Anger and guilt grew in Deans stomach while a wave of nausea hit him hard. „Sammy? - C'mon look at me." And Sam did, with half dried and fresh tears on his cheeks and sniffed. „They were bastards." Dean blinked at him. „You understand?" He swallowed … „Nothing what they said or did to you was OK … You gotta believe me, do you?" Dean asked and got a short nod. „You're with me now … that's different. Isn't it?" Dean gave him a hopeful smile.

„You and Bobby. You're different.", Sam said and pressed his lips together. „I know that … but … it's weird.", and moved his look towards his groin area, before he looked up again.

„THIS", Dean shot another glance towards Sams hands and made sure he would follow his look. „THIS happens when you like someone _very very very_ much. - It's not bad. That's natural, you know? You can't influence that." Sam smiled embarrassed and Dean put his most saucy grin on. „That means _you like me -_ **a lot**."

Sam chuckled. „Yeah, i like you a lot, Dean."

„See?", the hunter asked and raised both of his eyebrows, as his grin morphed into a smile. „Happens to me all the damn time." _….. lately_. He put an arm around Sams back and pulled him closer, until he leaned against his shoulder. Dean brushed the left remains of his tears - with a gentle touch - away and ran his hand thru Sams hair until his breathing evened out. „You tired?"

Sam nodded. „Bed?", he asked back.

Dean sighed and got up from the floor, followed by Sam. Both settled down for the night as the younger man snuggled into the hunters chest, rubbing his nose on Deans sternum.

„ _I love you, Sammy._ ", he whispered, bowed down and braced a gentle kiss on Sams forehead, before he pulled the covers over the younger mans shoulders and tugged him closer.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 13 ~ Catch Me If You Can**

_It was one of these days …_ Bobby wasn't any further with the spell. The one they tried yesterday night didn't work as promised, so they figured out a couple of possibilities why and because of what it hadn't worked.

Meanwhile the both young men spent a lazy morning in front of the TV. Sam cuddled like always into Deans side, trying to gain his attention but the hunter was too fixed on the game. The younger man laid his head on Deans shoulder and started to nibble and kiss the soft skin on his neck. He closed his eyes and let out a soft groan under Sams caressing before his eyes snapped open.

„Dude – i wanna watch the game." Deans words full of arousal and laid his hand on Sams neck, burying his fingers in the mans hair.

„No." Sam whispered and carried on with what he was doing – _just like that._

„Sam" The hunter moaned in a half-hearted threatening voice and gave the younger man a brief kiss on his forehead.

„Dean." Sam breathed in his ear.

„OK, that's it.", Dean sat up and put his forearms on his knees, away from Sams teasing.

Sam glanced at Dean, then in the direction of the remote control on the desk. Then again at Dean and weighted his chances to get the remote before the hunter could react to his assassination.

A naughty smirk built up on Sams face, his eyes sparkled in a million colors as his legs slid slowly from the couch until they touched the floor. Then everything happened faster as Dean could've noticed. Sam gripped the remote and fled.

„Sammy!", Dean cried out in the very second as the screen went black. „Give it back!" He jumped up and targeted Sam behind the couch, who smiled challenging at him. „You wanna play?", Deans eyes lit up in gleeful anticipation as the corners of his lips curled into a cheeky grin.

Sam inched back to get some distance between himself and the hunter, his smile slowly fading. With a smooth motion the hunter slid over the backrest of the couch and a fray chase through the cabin flared up (hunters like). The cabin was soon a mess of scattered papers, toppled over chairs and tables and ruffled bed covers before they ended up in the kitchen. Dean had trapped Sam (who still owned the remote control without loosing it once) in there and blocked the doorway to the living-room.

Both men were panting and huffing for air but neither of them seemed like he wanted to give in.

„Gotcha." Dean smiled and licked his dry lips, ready to claim the prey as his. Sam didn't longer realize that it wasn't about the remote control anymore. _Sam got to be his prey_ … „No way out, Sam.", he said cocky and tilted his head back, watching the younger mans eyes dart around - like he was a caught animal looking for an escape route.

The hunter locked his gaze with Sams and narrowed carefully giving his prey no space to flee. Sam leaned against the dresser behind him, finally threw his hands up in surrender and laid the remote in slow motion on the dresser behind him, so that Dean could see it. The hunter wasted no look at the remote, not even as he stood just inches in front the taller man. Dean let his tongue run along his lower lip and stepped even closer to lean against his prey. „You stole my remote.", Dean said with a low voice, carried by promising big green orbs.

Sam shot a hesitating look at the remote, considering an attempt to flee. Before he could wrap his mind around it, a hand guided his face towards Deans and a split second later he felt tender lips brushing against his. The prey lowered his head to give the hunter better access and kissed him back, feeling his tongue teasing, until Sam parted his lips and let him in. He leaned into the kiss and Dean pulled him a little bit closer. Sams hands sneaked under the hunters shirt - as he pressed against him – to feel the _heat_ , the _sweat_ , his _skin_. It was like a rush overwhelming him.

The taller one tugged Deans shirt up and took it off while parting their bodies as short as necessary. Dean explored every single corner in his mouth until Sam took over and turned them both around. The hunter let out a moan deep down from his throat and tried to regain control over the situation as he was used to. This time Sam wouldn't let him … _he fought_. Dean pulled back and chuckled, looking into Sams questioning eyes. „Gotta take this off." Dean tugged on his shirt and smiled promising.

The young man hesitated, before he let Dean undress his shirt. His cheeks flushed as Dean surveyed every part of his exposed skin.

„Stop it.", Sam muttered and looked down on himself, examining his own scars. „ _Please_." There were too many – _dozens of them._ His whole torso was marked for a lifetime. A steady reminder for what he had been and what he was. He didn't want to let Dean see, because he'd knew their origin … or at least was able to imagine. _It was embarrassing …_

Dean looked up on him and traced one of the scarred wounds over his heart across the chest and another one down to his navel, sending a tingling sensation thru Sams body. „You're beautiful, Sam." He said with a warmth in his voice, that would've melted the northpole. „These proof, that you're a strong man. That you're a survivor."

Dean wrapped his arms around Sams waist and kissed him softly, moving slowly towards his neck, nuzzling and teasing, kissing his adams apple, while Sam ran his fingers thru the short spikes of hair. The young man shifted his hips against Deans, who let out a low growl as he brushed over the zipper of his jeans. Once more Dean took over and turned them both around, pressing Sam against the dresser with a low groan of arousal.

Sam nuzzled on Deans neck, while his hands traced slowly down over the hunters muscular chest and belly until he reached the waistband of his jeans and started to unclench Deans belt.

Dean froze and put his hands on Sams, holding them still. „Wait, Sam", he whispered husky and stole a soft kiss. There was no way they would do _THIS_ now. No way he would let _Sam_ do this now, because he knew he wouldn't like it. Yeah, something in the young man had changed, but still not enough and he was so not ready for for _THIS_. Neither was Dean. Even though Dean tried to play the experienced one … he knew the techniques, yeah … but by far not enough to do this with Sam. He didn't want to hurt him … no matter in what way. THIS was special and Dean wanted to make it as special and beautiful as possible for both of them. What didn't meant that he probably wouldn't have enjoyed a blowjob … but he knew Sam wouldn't let him return the „favor". He was still pretty insecure and froze each time when Dean got near his waistband or the belt of his jeans. Sam didn't have to say anything about this, Dean saw it in his eyes … _the terror, the pain._ **Everything**. Sam might wanted this, but Dean could tell that he was afraid … „Don't. - I don't wanna go further until you are ready, OK?" He put a gentle smile on his lips and gave Sam a long soft kiss.

„OK.", Sam said and looked down. …. _but i could do it, and i know you'd like it._ The thing was, that Sam was thinking a whole lot more than talking. He prefered to „show" Dean things instead of talk about it. Showing him what he liked, or he didn't like, a little habit he took along from his past. „But you know i could …", he asked with wide hazel-eyes.

„Yeah, i'm shure you can." The hunter grinned approving. „Anyways … we should clean up our mess." He shot a look across the kitchen into the living-room. „Looks like we had a fight with a werewolf in here."

Sam chuckled. „Don't ever come in between a Winchester and the remote." He stated grinning.

„The moment you took it, it wasn't about the remote anymore, Sam.", Dean grinned and leaned into another deep sensual kiss with the taller man. „I got my prey anyways."

* * *

Dean Winchester wouldn't have been Dean Winchester if he didn't knew about a solution for his problem. Of course he knew how men had sex with other man. He knew how it worked … at least technically. But he decided that he wouldn't go into this without preparation and went into a special shop while on his supply run. He had visited a couple of online sites … but somehow the stuff he found (better said: the porn he found) seemed just odd and after surfing half a night in the web, scrolling thru websites that sounded promising … just to find some **REALLY WEIRD STUFF.** So he had to be clever about this. If he needed help he'd have to go to a professional. The sales girl had warranted, that THIS was what he was looking for and thrusted him a sealed DVD in his hands. It had a decent cover … two guys hugging, in front of the sunset … well not very Dean-Winchester-Like, but he thought it would do.

* * *

Bobby and Sam tried to figure out about another spell in the meantime. They were running out of time and needed a solution for the _spell-problem_. Both of them were still digging around in old books and papers when Dean got back with a whole lot of bags on the backseat of the impala … and a little black one hidden under the passenger's seat.

„Got something yet?", He asked, as he carried two more paper-bags into the kitchen.

„Yeah, we found something. We think one of the ingredients was a wrong one yesterday.", Sam replied absently. „But we'll try it again. I think i misread one of them …", Bobby added, while he scribbled something on a paper beside the book in front of him. Then he looked up, let his gaze wander thru the room and watched Dean suspiciously as he unpacked the bags int he kitchen.

Need help?", the older hunter asked and eyed him from tip to toe … _Something was different_ … his gaze strayed off of Dean and landed on Sam, who had his nose buried in one of the books … Yeah, something was different. Bobby wasn't able to point it out, but he felt it, and he wouldn't have been a hunter if he'd ignored his gutt-feeling.

* * *

The three of them made dinner together and Bobby didn't miss the looks the both of them shared. Dean seemed more the reserved one, looking at Sam like he was a precious gift. While Sams eyes were filled with love and affection for the hunter. The old man could do nothing but smile about it. Well he thought that they like each other … like brothers would do _maybe_ … but on the other side … this was a little bit _too much_ on both sides in this game. _Honestly?_ He still had no idea what was going on between them. And since he knew Dean for the Winchester he was (what meant girls,girls,girls), he wouldn't have thought about anything different than brotherly love, even if it looked kinda different.

* * *

Sam already dozed off on the couch later that night. Dean felt sorry to wake him … but he had to if he wanted to do what he had planned. He bowed down and brushed over Sams cheeks, softly placing a kiss on his forehead. „Bed?", he whispered and smiled, and green hazel-eyes fluttered open. Sam nodded and stretched out on the couch, looking up at Dean.

„Yeah … Bed.", he muttered and took Deans offered hand, to follow him.

It didn't take long until Sam was finally sound asleep and Dean withdrawaled from him silently and carefully not to wake him. He sneaked out of the bedroom and the cabin towards the impala, to get what he needed to. With a winning grin he grabbed the black plastic bag from under the passenger's seat and entered the cabin as silent as he had left it, settling himself in front of his laptop. Dean booted it and took a deep breath before he unpacked the cheese looking DVD. Why the hell did they had to look that way? Then he remembered Busty Asian Beauties and shrugged his thoughts off before inserting the DVD.

„Well then … lets do this." Dean smiled … actually he was looking for some kind of „Instruction Manual Of Homosexuality", but apparently something like that didn't exist. It took him about half an hour until he was mentally able to click the play-button, then he leaned back and made sure that the volume was low. (Waking Sam at this point would've been utterly awkward), holding a pen in one hand and a couple of sheets of paper in the other one. _He had to do this like a professional._

The hunter pulled a grimace when the film started. Two guys on the beach … _in a pink Cadillac?_ _What the hell?_ Anyways … the film had started. During the first couple of minutes did not really happen something interesting … but then … _oh god_ … Dean skipped to the next scene. And yeah, the surroundings didn't look as bad. At least it was a garage with a whole lot of manly stuff around, what made Dean feel less awkward. But he still felt kind of weird watching this.

He looked down on himself with a questioning look. „We don't like this, do we?", Dean muttered against his sweatpants … _nope, didn't look that way._ With a deep sigh he sat up. He didn't knew what he had expected … he felt pretty stupid anyways … and he felt like he betrayed Sam. Strange … but ok. Maybe he was just too tired for this shit.

His hunter instincts kicked in, as an internal alarm went off and Dean felt like he was watched. He turned around in the expectation that he was just paranoid (like most hunters) and that he was in fact alone … but no, _not such luck._

There he stood, barefoot in the doorway of the bedroom, looking at the man he loved … watching porn on his laptop. Dean left him to watch men having sex … _obviously_. Sams heart sank and it stung a little bit. He had offered Dean the chance to do this kind of stuff with him. And Dean didn't want to. It wasn't that Sam didn't understand him. He did. He knew he didn't want to hurt him. And he appreciated it. But now that he saw him … watching this stuff. Maybe Dean actually didn't want _HIM_ that way. Maybe this was because he was who he was. **WHAT** he was.

„Sam?", Dean asked in shock.

„I – I heard something." His voice calm and steady, but his eyes full of hurt and … _was this fear?._ His heartbeat sped up and his breathing got erratic with every second he stood there. Sam himself wasn't able to explain WHY he was afraid. WHY he felt like someone had torn his spine out of his throat. He shot a look at the busy guys on the screen and then back to Dean. „I think i'll take a walk … i hope you don't mind." with this words Sam took off and in a couple of long strides he was at the cabins front door, grabbing his jacket from the clothes tree, and left.

Dean swallowed. He was just to shocked to say anything right now at the moment. **Bravo, Winchester – well done! Any other ideas?**

Dean hurried up, slipped into his boots beside the couch, grabbed a jacket from the clothes tree and ran outside. Quite right to see a tall barefooted silhouette disappearing in the night towards the yard.

„Dude.", Dean hissed and pulled the zipper of his jacked up. „Sam! Wait!", he called out and broke into a run.

But Sam didn't. He just needed to get outside and catch fresh air. It was cold yeah, but not cold enough right now. He needed some distance and time. Time to think why this felt so disturbing. Why this made him feel the way he felt. Without Dean. Without the silent moaning and groaning from the guys on the screen.

The gravel crouched under his bare feed and the cold sharp stones digged into his flesh. It hurt, but way less than his heart hurt right now. And honestly? At some point it felt good to feel something else as the emotions that dared to drown him.

„Please!", Dean called out as he rounded the corner streight into the yard. Sam was nothing more than a blurry silhouette in the fading moonlight. „Would you stop please?!"

But Sam moved on. Either he didn't hear him or he didn't want to listen. What he heard were heavy boots rubbing fine gravel underneath them and he sped up, getting faster and faster until he was running. Running like his life depended on it.

Dean snarled at Sam broke into a run. „Damn it", he hissed got faster.

No matter how hard Sam tried to get away, the noise of narrowing footfalls seemed to get closer, until something …. _SOMEONE_ tackled him from behind, slinging arms around his arms and waist and took him down.

„Sam. Wait!" Dean cried out, trying to get the struggling man in his arms under control.

„Please, leave me alone, Dean.", he panted exhausted.

„Listen to me, will you?", the hunter wasn't less breathless.

„No." Sam said and tried to break free.

So Dean waited until Sam stopped struggling against him, stopped trying to hit him somewhere it would definitely hurt bad, until he gave up and fell limp in the hunters arms. Dean tugged the panting man closer and leaned his forehead against his shoulder. „Are we done yet?", Dean asked low.

Sam nodded and pulled his legs up to his chest, clinging to the strong arms that held him. „Sorry, Dean. I'm sorry.", he gasped out. „It's OK, i guess this one goes on me, Sammy.", the hunter gave back and ran his hands through Sams hair. Dean pushed himself up into a sitting position and took the young man with him, rubbing his arms and lower legs. „You hurt?"

Sam shook his head and looked at his feet, wet dark moisture glittering on his footsoles.

Dean laid a hand on Sams cheek and guided him to his chest, while rubbing his back gently.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 14 ~ Mine**

The evens a couple of nights ago were forgotten pretty fast. Either because it was for both of them kind of embarassing and no one really wanted to talk about it ... or because they both knew it had no relevance to their relationship (more firstly in this case).

Between all the snuggling, cuddling and kissing they had tried to summon the damn demon another couple of times … _and failed._ Either they pronounced the bitches name wrong or she was warded against summoning spells. Both oppinions sucked streight away.

Bobby grunted and blew the candles on his table out, still white mist smoking out of the pan where they had burned the herbes and other incredients for the spell. „I guess that's it.", the older hunter sighed. „I can't think of anything else to try."

Sam shook his head in sadness and leaned back in the big leather-chair, rubbing his temples.

„It was a good plan. - Actually ...", Dean muttered and gave Sam a disappointed look. „I'd say we quit for today and see what we can figure out tomorrow. - We might should look for any kind of hunt in the meantime."

Sam nodded as he bit his lower lip and leaned back in the big leather-chair in Bobby's living-room. Dean shared a look with Bobby and nodded towards him, as he put his hand in Sams direction. He looked up and smiled at Deans offer, deep dimples straddled around his eyes and lips. „I think we should head to bed." Dean shot a look at his wrist-watch, 10:45 pm. „What do you guys say?" not leaving his look from Sam.

„Yeah, think so too." Bobby said and darted his eyes between the both of them … _definitely more than brotherly._ „Have a good night, boys." He smiled as Sam took the hunters hand.

Sam got up from the chair and shared a look with Bobby. „Good night, Bobby. - See you tomorrow" The older man nodded towards him and watched the both of them leave. … _nope, not brotherly at all._

As soon as they had closed the cabins door from the inside, Sam went for the hunter. Pushing him gently against the door and kissing him softly. Dean followed his example and kissed back, wrapping his arms around the mans waist and turning around, so that Sam was leaning against the door. „Bossy?", Dean asked with a broad smirk and teased Sams lips gently, before he kissed him firmer. It took them about fifteen minutes to get into the bedroom with all the tongues, lips and teeth in between and another fife and two jackets and shirts less until Dean guided him down on the bed. He crawled over him and sat on his lab on the edge of the bed followed by another deep kiss and low groan of Sam.

„Back.", Dean ordered smiling and let Sam slide backwards until he lay in the middle of it. The hunter followed him and pushed him backwards into the matress, before he started to nibble on his earlobes and down his neck. The young man gasped and moaned and made other funny little noises under Deans touch, wich made the hunter smile. „I like this.", he wispered husky in Sams ear with a smile. „I like this small noises you make, Sam." The hunter added with a low growl of arousal as he traced along a scar until he reached his navel, guiding his finger further down over the sensitive skin of his stomach. Sams hips leaned into the touch and arched towards _him_ , brushing against Deans hardness. The hunter closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the way Sam smelled and getting to know what he sounded like under his touch.

Sam wrapped his long arms around him and rolled over so that he was on top of Dean, caressing every inch of his exposed skin with his tongue, the long bangs of his hair tickling on the mans skin under him. He surveyed the hunters chest with his hands, rubbing gently over his nipples and followed his tongue down to his navel and below, when Dean tensed beneath him. He laid his hands over Sams, as he tugged on the belt of his jeans. But Sam just tangled his fingers into the hunters and guided them sideways, letting his tongue run back up to his navel. He nuzzeled and sucked soft on the sensitive skin of his stomache until Dean relaxed again and guided his lips back towards the waistband of his jeans. Untangling his fingers from the mans beneath him, to unbuckle the beld and unbutton his jeans.

Dean let out a low moan as he lifted his hips to give in as the man above him undid his jeans and boxers while he kissed and nuzzled his way down. When his clothes were gone, Sam climbed back up at him, caressing every single scar on Deans body until he was face to face with him. The hunter smiled in awe and leaned into a long tender kiss. Now it was his turn to undo Sams remaining fabric as he rolled on top of him, tapping their hips together.

There was no flinch when he reached the waistband. No freezing when he undid Sams brown leather-belt. Nno hesitating as he removed his clothes. Just these tiny noises of comfort and exhilaration below him, that made him chuckle. Dean loved this, loved that Sam wasn't afraid anymore, that he was able to let go of whatever had happened in the past. Now he was with him and Dean would never let him fall.

The hunter kissed the body beneath him with tenderness and was nuzzling his soft skin before he touched _him_. Sam gasped in arousal and clenched the comforter in his fists, as Dean stroke over his sensitive skin.

The hunter sat up between the younger mans legs in tailor-fashion, as he traced along the inner sides of Sams tights and down again to get a grip unter his knees, dragging his butt onto his lab. Sam sat up on him, wrapping his long legs around the hunter while their lips met and parted to sink into another deep kiss while they moved their bodies together.

They did the things they do … everything that made them all gooey and like pudding in the arms of the other until they reached their point of no return. Sam sat in the hunters lap for a couple of minutes, unable to move and leaned his forehead into the crotch where Deans shoulder and neck met. Dean held the man in his arms close, panting and amazed by how amazing it felt. Falling appart in the arms of someone you love.

„Holy shit.", Dean breathed into his hair and smiled. His cheeks flushed, as no Winchesters-Cheeks ever.

„This was ….", Sam started and paused to catch a breath. „... rousing."

The hunter closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Sams naked skin on his, his warm breaths in the crotch of his neck. „Shower?", he asked softly.

„Give me ten.", Sam answered and tightened his grip around Deans neck, not wanting to let go.

* * *

Dean woke with the feeling of a warm body next to him. Curled up against his and soft breaths on his chest. The hunter opened his sleepy eyes and smiled as Sam rubbed his nose on his chest and moved a little with a low comfortable groan. He brushed the younger mans hair behind his ears and traced a fine line with his fingertips over his neck.

„Good morning." Deans voice was hoarse and low, but enough to wake the younger man. He moaned quietly in respond and placed his arm over the hunters hip.

„Man i'm starving.", he said as Sam made no attempt to wake up. Another low moan came as respond and he chuckled. „What'd you want?"

Sam sighed and sniffed. „You.", he answered and looked up at the hunter with bright hazel-eyes and a cheeky smile.

Dean cocked his head forward and brushed with his nose against Sams, closing his eyes while recovering the younger mans tender lips, placing a soft kiss on his. „We haven't got dinner yesterday. - And i'm starving, Sam." He smiled into the kiss as Sam tried to deepen it.

„Ok." Sam knew that there would be no way to distract the hunter from eating. „Blueberry-Pancakes, choco-sauce and whip cream?", he answered with a big grin, well knowing that there was no way that there were Blue Berrys anywhere around.

„I won't drive into town for your blueberries. - What about sandwiches?" Dean answered with cocked eyebrows.

„Peanutbutter-Banana-Sandwiches?", Sam asked with big innocent eyes.

The hunter placed another kiss on Sams lips and swung his legs out of the bed. „On the way."

Sam chuckled and rolled on his back, stretching and moaning in a comfortable way, squeezing his eyes together in wellfare. In a split second his eyes snapped open, horror written on his face as he shot up into a sitting posision. „Angels.", he muttered terrified. But before he could call out for Dean, he heard clanking crockery and a dull bounce.

„ **Sam! Run!** ", he heard Dean horrified yelling.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 15 ~ Taken**

But Sam didn't run. He'd fight until the very end. _For Dean._ For himself.

Sam struggled the covers off of him and ran out – barefooded and in pyjama-bottoms – to catch himself in the middle of the living-room. There were three strangers – **ANGELS**. All of them were wearing black elegant suits. Two of them stood just a couple of feet away from Sam, the other one stood in the middle of the kitchen beside Dean. The hunter kneeled gasping on the floor.

Sam looked at them in terror. - How could angels do something like that … weren't they the good ones? Weren't they supposed to look after humanity? _What the Hell?_ Sam glazed at their giant shadowy wings, spreading across the room and taking most of the space. His look fell onto the one in the kitchen, who looked at him now with an evil smirk.

„Careless Mud Monkeys", the angels snarled and glanced at Sam. „No one told you, not to shoot fireworks into the sky when you don't wanna be found?" Then his attention went back to Dean and he tightened his fist, that showed towards Dean. Sam stared at the hunter in terror as he started to gasp for air. „We can make this quick and you come with us. Or we'll do it nice and slow ...", the angel beside Dean grinned and tightened his fist even more so that the hunter wheezed and tumbled to his side, staring at Sams horrified face. „... and i'll kill Dean as uncomfortable as possible." The angel looked back at Sam.

Sam looked back up at the angel and swallowed. „I do whatever you want from me if you let him go." He tried to sound as quite and calm as possible. _Everything for Dean._

The angel let immediately go of the hunter, who sucked in a deep breath. „ _No no no no, don't._ ", he gasped in a silent plea, rolling on his back.

Sam stepped towards the kitchen, before the two Angels in the living room blocked his way. Sam wasn't afraid of them … he was afraid for Dean. That they hurt Dean because of himself. Because they haven't been careful enough. In one fast motion he grabbed both of them on their throats and forced them on their knees in a split second. Their eyes started to glow in a bright white-blue, Sam saw their wings light up in fire, blazing and turning into smoke and ashes before their bodies hit the ground.

The young man kneeled panting in between their wasted vessels and looked up with a dangerous glance in his eyes. „I'll go with you, if you let the old man and Dean go. - I know they have him. I know they are here. Let them go and i won't make any troubles.", Sam offered, staring daggers into the angels host, who tried not to show any emotions. Just a split moment of fear flashed up in his dark brown orbs.

The angel nodded, as Sam passed him and kneeled down beside Dean, cupping his cheek and bowing down, so that his lips were beside the hunters ear. „ _Please find me_ ", Sam whispered with shaky voice and pressed an intensive long kiss on the hunters lips.

SPN ~

Dull pain sliced thru his abdomen as he arrived in the kitchen of the small cabin. His head pounded and it took him a couple of seconds to clear his vision. The fight against his brothers and sisters nearly had cost his life – _and all this for humanity._

He couldn't be too late. The destiny of this world depended on it. Everything dependent on it. But he was. Castiel was too late to save Azazels Child from being taken. His gaze fell on a body on the floor two feet away from him. Humans were so vulnerable beings and though they could be so strong.

He kneeled down beside the hunter as another fluttering sound was heard and ocean-blue eyes looked up to find a bearded startled man and another blue-eyed being next to him.

„We are too late", the man beside the bearded man said clinically. He sounded way to british to be american.

„Cas?! What the hell is going on here?" It was Bobby, who got woken by the other angels just a couple of minutes ago. Well, woken wasn't the right expression for what had happened. Actually the Angel had saved his life, had healed him and now there was no stab wound in his shoulder anymore. Just a big saturated stain and a hole where the angelblade had ripped the fabric apart. Bobby looked at the unconscious hunter on the floor, checking him for any sign of life. Then he forced his gaze at the wounded angel beside him. The being looked like as he had went thru a chopper.

The angels eyes were full of sorrow and sadness as he laid his hand on the hunters forehead and closed his eyes. As he opened them again, Deans eyes fluttered open with a gasp. „ _Sam_ ", he breathed low and sat up. „ _Oh god .. no no no_ ", his eyes frantic, red rimmed and watery. „Cas?" he asked as he looked into deep blue eyes, then his gaze fell at Bobby and the other angel. „Balthazar?"

„I'm sorry" Castiel laid a hand on his stomach, where it was soaked with his own blood. „We are too late."

„We've got to find him. We gotta find Sam" Deans heart tore and ached as Sams last words crept into his mind – _Please find me._

„Too late? What the hell is going on here?", Bobby asked with broken voice and looked at the angel beside him. „And who the hell are _you_?"

The blond, blue-eyed, very british looking angel glazed at the older hunter. „Hairless apes", he said clinically.

„Who do you call hairless?", the bearded hunter shot back.

„Angels – they took him, they took _Sam_ , Bobby." Tears stinging in Deans eyes.

Castiel stood up and helped the hunter on his feed.

„No wonder. You stupid mud monkeys shot with fireworks into the night sky as you intended to summon the demon that was actually captured and tortured by heavens best guard." He cocked his eyebrows and frowned. „I thought they would find you earlier."

Bobby and Dean shared glances before they looked at Castiel. „What happened to you?", Dean asked not so much concern in his voice, since he knew that the angel would be back on track in a couple of hours.

„The price your angel friend paid for trying to save your sorry buttocks.", Balthazar replied after Castiel refused to answer immediately.

„As i found out what my brothers and sisters planned and i intended to warn you … they captured me. - They are my siblings, _yes_ , but i can't watch them destroy my fathers creation." Castiel explained with a heavy sadness in his voice.

„OK … so … and what could they probably want with Sam?" Bobby asked, his face in a pale grey.

„Destroy Lilith." Cas answered.

„Why?", Dean asked. „We were on the best way to do it. - Sooner or later." He rolled his eyes.

„Not that easy, Boy. They want to make sure she's getting destroyed. But on the right place to the perfect time." Balthazar declared, his light smile fading and his playful look turned into a cold and hard expression.

„To free Lucifer.", Castiel added low. „If you would kill Lilith before the time is up, before the seals are broken, the chance to raise Lucifer would be gone. - These angels want it to happen, Dean. They intend to let Lucifer walk the earth."

„So what now? When? How?" Dean asked what his mind sought to know. „Where did they take Sam?"

„I don't know, Dean. I just hope for the worlds sake that he will not agree to whatever they want him to agree to.", Castiels look flew towards the two dead angels in the living room. „If he is not willing to do it, they will make him. They will find a way to make him do whatever they want."

Dean swallowed hard and brushed a hand over his face and mouth as he gasped. „That means we have to find him fast. - Bobby - tracking spell?" He gave the older hunter a pleading look.

Bobby took in a deep breath. „I'd have to look for one, but i sure as hell can do that."

Balthazar chuckled. „Now _this_ is cute. - A tracking spell. Truly sweet." He puckered his lips. „Your lousy spells won't work. I am sure they warded the place where they are hiding. And i am pretty sure they warded the kids body too. - But you are lucky." He smiled sweetly. „I know something that is going to work – perhaps."

Both hunters shared questioning looks. „It's a spell nonetheless and we need a human for it, and some blood of the human who will proceed it." Castiel explained. „it's a blood sacrifice. The one who does it will be connected with Sam for as couple of minutes. The one will be able to look into his memories. - You can skip the earlier ones, but you have to slow down at some point, so you don't miss the important timeframe from where he was taken."

„Well then, let's do it.", Dean looked at Castiel. „What are we waiting for?"

„Well, you should know that this is no walk in the park, Winchester.", Balthazar interfered. „You will see and feel everything he felt. You can't get out of it, before the spell hasn't fulfilled what he is made for."

Dean nodded. There was nothing in the entire world that he wouldn't do for this man. „I'll take it, whatever it may cost."

_…. please, find me._

* * *

Both angels and hunters sat in Bobby's living room, checking over Balthazars spell. „And this'll work?", Dean asked warily, while he ganzed at the blonde angel.

Balthazar nodded. „Of course." He sounded slightly offended.

„You have to be careful, Dean. - It's dangerous. You have to keep a mental barrier or distance to what you will see and _feel_." Castiel sighed. „Otherwise it is going to hurt you in the same way it hurt Sam." He warned with concerned look. "Maybe even worse."

Dean patted on Cas shoulder and grinned, cocking his eyebrows. A part of him didn't want to see the things that had happened to Sam … but another part of him did. The part of him that hoped to see something about Sams life before the hunters took him. The part where he had been happy and with his family … he hoped that – when this all was over – he could help him to remember the beautiful things in his youth. Because he deserved it – Sam deserved to remember.

„Well then …" Dean was nervous. He knew he had to black out his concern about Sam and the fear of loosing him. He as a hunter, he knew the drill. Bury your emotions somewhere and do your job, or the job is going to kill you. (Johns words, not Deans.) Dean took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief second. As he opened them again, Castiel held a glass with a muddy looking fluid in front of him. „You have to drink it. - Then I'll let you fall into a deep sleep and when you wake up, you will remember everything Sam has experienced until the very second of the present.", Castiel said and eyed the hunter doubtfully.

„How long will it take?", Dean asked eager, as he reached for the glass.

„Depends on how fast it takes affect on your body and mind.", the angel answered frowning. "Just keep it all at bay ..."

Dean nodded calmly and gave Bobby a short nod. „I guess we should get the party started", and with this words he swallowed down every single greasy drop of the mashed contents. Soon his mouth felt like something had died in there and came back to life just to die again … and again … and again … to taste every single time more rotten. He laid down on the spent couch and closed his eyes, trying to relax. As soon as Castiel had laid his index- and middle finger on the hunters forehead, darkness took him.

* * *

Everything started with an endless darkness, darkness and yellow eyes. The taste of copper on Deans tongue, in his mouth, running down his throat – **BLOOD**. He felt heat and fire in his veins, burning in him, licking over his skin. He tried to push the feelings away, tried to shut them out, holding them at bay – just enough to not letting them consume him.

A storm of happiness and bliss filled him. He heard himself chuckle and a bright light surrounded him for a brief second, before darkness took over again.

Dean sensed love, pictures of a woman and two girls sitting by a table appearing in front of him. He laughed with them, joked … it was dinner time. - _Sams mom and sisters._

Then the darkness washed over and single flashes of the woman, the two girls - not older than four and six at the beginning. He saw them grow up, the woman getting older within moments until fire took the pictures away. Terrified screams and endless sadness filling his heart. Coldness and a hard surface below him taking their place.

Dean felt himself dragged away, strong hands and a tight grip, and he struggled – **no** – _Sam struggled_ against them. The faces of two man over him and pain – _endless pain._ Dean pulled back again – holding it at bay, trying to black the following flashes and feeling out. He thought he heard himself scream in agony – but no, it wasn't him – _it was Sam_. Sam screamed. Burning pain on his back, trying to rip him apart.

Then darkness and confusing flashes of pictures, words, a mix of resignation and agony laid over everything that followed. Things happened that Dean wanted to shove back, locking them away, but he couldn't. Because it wasn't him. _It was Sam_. _Sams memories. Sams life. Sams everything._ Desperation and agony, never ending tears and more pain. A dull pounding pain in his head – _Sams head_ – spiked, surrounding him with black smoke.

Seconds that felt like years in front of him, around him – **IN HIM.**

Blood and more blood, heavy shackles, and a collar around his neck, yelling and coldness.

And then a light, as like a door opened and a voice. His voice. _Deans_ _voice_ and Bobby, the softness of a mattress and warmth that he hadn't felt in ages. The night interrupted by sparkling lights like stars glittering and beautiful, until the darkness started to fade between the flashes of him and Bobby and the cabin – **And he was safe**. _He felt safe._

And there was Dean … strong arms, Deans arms and _hope_ – a glimpse of hope and fear and then … _then he was safe_. He felt gentle ands and their first kiss. Confusing but full of love … so much love … Dean wasn't able to tell if it was himself or Sam or both of them.

Their first kiss in slow motion, their last night – _And he was save and the world was bright_ …. **until** ….

He felt them – He heard himself yell **Sam! Run!** Fear and terror took over – w _ere taking Sam over_ – as he saw himself on the floor. He felt Sams pain, his fear and what would going to happen to Dean – what the angels could do to him _. The panic of losing the one who saved his entire life._

Power rushing thru him, as he smote the angels, the resignation and the fight.

 _Please find me_ and the undeniable trust into Dean and all the love and comfort in his kiss. It was like Dean felt it all over gain, before unbearable sadness claimed his mind.

The angels hand on his shoulder, when he closed his eyes and then, as _Sam_ opened them again … finding himself in a house of god. A convent and a church … an abandoned church, statues of angels on the outside of big bright windows. _Wheeping angels._

 _Saint Jeremiah's Saint Jeremiah's Please find me …_ and silence before a searing pain forced into his back and inside his chest and the taste of copper. Dean looked down on himself – _on Sam_ … and there was blood, _so much blood_ and pain.

**Find me please.**

Blood dripping from his lips – _Sams lips ... dying ... Sam was dying. Panic forced the hunters heart_ _into a furious beating.  
No no no no no ... don't do this to me._

Someone whispered into his ear calmly: _This way or another. You will die. Tell me what i want to know and i will end you now and here. Refuse to tell me what i want to know and i will bring you back over and over again until you do._

Sams " _never_ " wasn't more than a breath.

_Find me Saint Jeremiah's_ **Dean** _please make them stop_ **i know you'll come** _find me Saint Jeremiah's the convent on the hills please help me_ **save me**

* * *

Deans eyes snapped open, his body convulsing, his lungs gasping for oxygen and the taste of blood still on his tongue. He looked down on himself to find no blood, but a sweat soaked shirt clutching to his shaking body. No blood, no torn flesh, no pain, no fear.

Three pair of blue eyes were staring at him. One in _shock_. One in _empathy_. One in _i-told-you-so_.

„You OK, son?", Bobby asked concerned. Dean nodded, panting, his heart racing, his head throbbing in pain.

„ _Oh god_ ", he breathed and laid a hand on his head. „ _Oh god no no no_ " The hunter winced and curled up into a small ball as all the feelings – _Sams feelings_ – rushed back at him, thru him, over him and surrounding him. Thrusting their claws in his mind, poisoning him from the inside.

„ _Dean_ ", he heard a silent plea „ _Dean come on._ " in his mind „ _snap out of it_ ".

A firm grip on his head, tearing away the deadly claws from his mind.

„Dean c'mon, snap out of it, boy." Bobby's voice soaked into him. „ **for** **Sam.** "

„Sam" another voice called out „do it for Sam"

_Sam … please find me … Sammy … i gotta find Sam … need to find Sam … Saint Jeremiah's and Sam._

„ **Sam** " Deans eyes snapped open again as Castiel stumbled backwards and landed on his angelic butt, exhausted and panting.

„Welcome back, Son", Bobby smiled at him. Dean nodded, trying to calm his breathing down. „Shit – what a trip"

„Well i have to admit this was an amusing show." Balthazar stated with a playful grin.

Bobby and Dean glanced at the british angel, eyes like daggers staring at him.

* * *

Short after Dean was back on his feet, Balthazar disappeared to find the convent on a hill with crying angels named Saint Jeremiah's .

Bobby placed a glass whiskey in front of Dean and put the bottle of blue label beside it. "You deserve a drink, boy." After a second he added. "Or five."

„Saint Jeremiahs", Dean whispered and rubbed the bridge of his nose. „It's on a hill. A convent or a church or both." He hissed, as the stabbing pain in his head spiked again. „We need to find Sam. They … they …. - I ..." Deans eyes were red rimmed and wet from tears and exhaustion. He wasn't the same man without the sasquatch by his side. The younger man didn't talk a lot, but there was something about his presence. Ever since Sam was with him, he felt whole again.

„Did you see something else that could've been important?", Castiel asked calmly. "Do you know the angels name who took him?"

Dean shook his head. „Flashbacks – everything i guess …" Dean answered low „ _everything he remembered_ " he sighed „nothing in fact. Nothing else that could help us to find him." he huffed. „They are torturing him, Cas. They hurt him – they're hurting Sam." _… my Sam_. He swallowed down a sob. „And _we_ just sit here and wait." He slammed his fist on the table, his voice raising in anger with edges of desperation. "I can't just sit here and wait ... not while Sam's out there and suffers."

Castiel laid a hand on Deans shoulder.

„Don't Cas. Just don't .. " He felt so vulnerable and raw from the inside out – and he wondered if it was himself who felt that way or if it was Sam …. _please find me_ …. **Get yourself together, Dean, you won't help anyone this way**. Dean clenched his jaw. He could still feel him – _feel Sam_. His fear, his fight, his desperation, his everything. **You can't help Sam that way ...**

„It will go away, Dean – These feelings aren't yours. They are temporary. As soon as the spell wears off and the substance is out of your system you will feel like yourself again." Castiel turned towards Bobby and shared a look with the older hunter. „Balthazar will be back soon" and nodded towards him.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


* * *

**Chapter 16 ~ The Arrival**

Thirty-six hours later Balthazar returned with the exact location of Sam and other information they needed for their plan. The angel brought two extra angel-blades for Bobby and Dean and laid them on the small kitchen table in front of them.

 _Fact was_ : Two states over - near Boonville, Missouri - was an abandoned convent named _Saint Jeremiah_. Surrounded by woods and good thirty minutes away from any kind of civilisation. Balthazar reported about angels who were running patrol around the area – he had counted seven of them and meant that there would be at least seven more inside the building. The plan was, that they would first snatch the patrolling angels on the outside of the building, before they would enter. Then the four of them would go inside and push their way thru to the part of the convent that what used to be a church … _where they kept Azazels child._ In case that the angels would've to stay back, they would zap the Impala on the side of one of the byroads towards the convent. Well hidden by trees and shadows.

„Something's foul with this ...", Dean said bitter. „I don't like it."

„The plan is a good one.", Castiel fixed him with a confused expression.

„Not the plan, Cas. - The whole story ... why they took Sam. - Somehow it doesn't make sense.", he muttered. „Lilith is a high-level-demon … you can tell? The first one. - I doubt that Sam would be able to kill her." The hunter blew out a deep breath. „He'd die if he'd try, Cas." Dean looked up to meet ocean-blue eyes.

„They might not want _him_ to kill Lilith." Balthazar leaned back in the leather-chair where Sam used to sit, and put his legs on Bobby's table. „It's crystal clear that not every human body is built to hold an angel. I think they want him to say **yes** to someone very specific … I think they don't want him to kill Lilith. I think they just want him to be there when it happens. To say yes whatever crawls out of the pit." He frowned. „It's a holy secret upstairs, and just a hand full of angels know how the last seal has to be broken. - And the last seal is meant to be Lilith."

The older hunter turned around on his chair and glanced at the british angel. „Two days ago you told us, that they wanna use him to kill the demon-bitch. - Now they don't?" Bobby asked irritated. „Could you make up your mind some day?"

Balthaszar cocked one of his eyebrows. „Well, i only can tell what the angel-radio tells me. But these two rumours are the most common so far."

Dean sighed and laid his hand on one of the angel-blades „It doesn't matter right now. - We have to find Sam, that's everything that matters." …. _please find me_ … Sams last words crawling back into his mind. He had to find him, bring him home. He had promised Sam to protect him, watch out for him, care for him … and he had shut down his protective barrier. He lost the most important thing to him. The most important part of himself … **Sam**.

* * *

First it was cold. _Freezing_. He knew he was dying … and he knew he would just reach the edge of death to get pulled back to life within seconds … getting glued back together by the bastards who had taken him. And then there was fire. _Heat_. Every time they fixed him, when they brought him back among the living it hurt … it hurt more than the cuts, lung-cancer terminal stage, arthritis, poison and all the other things they had tried on him so far.

And there it was … _Fire_ – burning thru his veins, lungs, guts, muscles and nerves.

Sam kneeled on the dark wooden floor in front of the altar, in the heart of a painted sigil beneath him. His wrists and ankles in iron shackles attached to heavy chains and anchored in the wood under him. The chains were long enough to allow him to stand up. But he was too tired to get back on his feet. Too exhausted to try anything to get free, if he would've wanted. _He didn't want_. The angels had killed Bobby and Dean – **they showed him** … _showed him how they broke the deal,_ **how they slaughtered his friend … and his partner** **.**

If it was on him, the world around him could've burned down just right now, and he wouldn't have cared. Dean was gone … Bobby was gone … and _he_? _He_ was still alive and going to be a puppet on a string.

„You know the drill. Just get over with.", Sam muttered and stared daggers into the angel in front of him, through his long brown bangs. „Just get over with it."

The angel was dark skinned and tall … nearly as tall as Sam and wore a casual dark-blue suit, white shirt and a black tie. His body seemed well toned and the lack of hair on his head gave the dark-brown-eyed host a dangerous side-kick.

The dark skinned angel smiled as he spread his shadowy wings. „I'll take it. - You won't say yes, will you?", he asked emotionless.

Sam sniffed and looked up at him, catching his glance for a moment. „ _No_ , i won't."

„Your last word?", the angel asked and cocked his head to the side.

„I won't kill the demon. I won't let lucifer take my body. I won't do any kind of creature a favor. You can kill me a hundred times, it won't matter. I will agree to nothing you are offering me.", Sam stated and smiled scornfully.

„Well, i think we will see about this. - Everyone breaks at some point.", the angel sighed and stroke a white small feather – unseen by normal human eyes – from his suit. „We don't need you to kill the demon. - You are too weak. - Besides … we don't have to kill Lilith for what we have planned."

Sams eyes tightened. „So what then?", he asked with a knowing grin, „I thought that's what those two were talking about?", and shot a glance at the two angels in the archway.

„Well, it's a rumour we brought up among our brothers and sisters. - Also, that you're meant to be a vessel … it's just some gossip. They think it's all about the endgame." The angels eyes went bright and he grinned broadly.

Sam frowned and shook his head. „Endgame?"

„Yeah a big deal … Michael versus Lucifer. - But in fact … that's not exactly what I want." He smiled mischievous. After a moment of thoughtful silence the angel continued: „You are going to be so much more than this." Something Sam didn't like, crossed the angels features – _insanity, victory and sway?_ He kneeled down before Sam and spread his wings even wider. „You are going to be our _Agnus Dei_."

Sam swallowed wide eyed … whatever it meant, it didn't sound comfortable to be _THAT_.

„You are going to be the lamb. _The sacrifice_ , Son. - You are going to be the most important piece in all of this." The angels inspiration ebbed away as soon as it had risen. „I chose _YOU_."

… **.. well, even less comfortable ….** „As honoralbe as it may sound … i don't think that i want to be a lamb. - As far as i am concerned … _lambs in the bible die_ … all the damn time." Sams smile had faded as the words „ _Agnus Dei_ " left the angels mouth.

„But they dy an honorable death. - And so will you.", The angels inspiration seemed to return, his voice soft, nearly charismatic. „Everyone will talk about _THE ONE_ who saved the world. - A special place in heaven for you and the ones you love is reserved."

Sam frowned and for a moment he was thinking about the angels offer …. he would be _with Dean_ _again_ , wouldn't he? Unified in heaven with _his love_ , and Bobby … but _Dean_ wouldn't want it. - Not this way. Whatever this angel wanted him to do – TO BE … it didn't feel right. Something felt horribly wrong about it.

„So what's the plan? - What would i have to do to deserve this special place in heaven?", Sam asked hesitantly.

A bright winning grin spread over the angels face, and his eyes light up in a crazy kind of emotion. „Let _Shushienae_ in. Say _YES_ to her. " It looked like the angel doubted Sams interest for a moment. „She's the purest among all of us."

„And if i would do that … what would happen to me?", Sam stood up slowly. „... i am tainted with demon-blood." He tried to read the angels expressions … but he didn't show any signs of emotions.

„This is why we need _YOU_. - _YOU_ will be our blood sacrifice _for Lucifer's Rise._ This sacrifice will allow him to return to heaven, Son." He explained proud.

Sam tried not to show the horror in his face. „What is he going to do upstairs?"

„I think i have already told you enough, Sam. - I will give you some time to think about my offer.", with this words the angel turned around and went thru the archway, leaving him with the two warding angels.

* * *

The Impala stood gleaming black in the bright light of the full moon. Dean leaned on the side of the hood and ran his fingers over the polished metal. He knew the eclipse was near … „We'll get _Sam_ back", he muttered silently. His emerald-green eyes glistening dangerously and cold-hearted with a softening flash of love as he spoke out _his love's name_. The hunter pulled his hand back as a flapping noise was heard and the both angels and Bobby appeared in the shadows near the impalas hood.

„Ready?" Dean asked, his voice nearly emotionless.

The three of them nodded.

* * *

There he was, all fixed up - again. Just the rust-brown moisture on his pyjama-bottoms, torso and the floor underneath him reminded about the torture during the past forty-nine hours.

„It would've been nice if you would've said _YES_ , boy. - Now we have to do it the hard way.", the dark-skinned man stated and added a deep sigh. „She sacrifices herself to save heaven, Sam. - Why don't you understand how important this is? We need a leader. - Not Gabriel, Nor Uriel, Nor Michael, Nor Raphael are able to lead us thru the darkest hours. If heaven falls, _you all fall_. - Don't you understand how important this is to **ALL** of us?"

Sam didn't react, as he kneeled on the floor, hands in his lab and his gaze locked on the rust-brown moisture on his pyjama-bottoms. „There's a reason why Lucifer isn't in haven, right?", Sam whispered after another moment of silence. The agony of seeing Dean die was tearing him apart on the inside. NOW both of them were going to die … _for nothing_. „You sure it'll work this way?", Sam asked as the angel didn't answer.

He chuckled. „Our backup-plan. - a blood-spell – since i figured that you could've learned resistance during your time with the _Winchester_ ". The angel squat down – outboards of the sigil. „So … we had to find another solution for our little problem … i think this blood-spell is going to work … my brothers and sisters are simply the best."

Sam smiled sadly. „Well then, why do you keep talking then? Do it."

„Oh, we've to wait until our _guest_ joins us … we've a specialist – _Elohim_ \- for things like that."

Sam squeezed his eyes shut and held back the tears. There would be no one to save the world. There would be _no Dean to save him_. No abilities who'd be able to help him and humanity right now as long as he was inside the sigil. **On the bright side:** He'd see _Dean_ again – in heaven … Their souls would be together until the end of days.

* * *

Bobby leaned against the open trunk of the Impala and eyed Dean, who longed for the angel-blades.

„The motel room is ready. We adjusted and warded it for every possible condition he's in." Bobby's voice was low and almost calm as he spoke.

„Banked blood?", Deans voice sounded sharp and stable, focused on the task before him. **Finding Sam.** _Taking him back home._

„We've got five pints of banked blood - universal donor, saline, syringes – everything we could probably need is there." The older hunter sighed. „Don't you worry. We'll patch him up. No matter in what condition he is." Bobby took a step forward, so that Dean was able to close the trunk and turned towards his friend. „You know, Bobby … if … if something happens in there …. _to me_ …. i want you to watch out for Sam, OK? I want you to help him get over it …"

Bobby grunted disapproving. „Don't be stupid, _Dean_." He took the offered angel-blade. „If you don't make it out there, Sam will neither. You both are kinda grown together – _There's no him, if there's no you._ " Bobby smiled warmly, „... and the other way round.", he added and patted Deans shoulder.

A faint smile crossed the younger hunters features. „You're right. - Lets just … let's get in there and kick some angel-asses." Deans expression steeled as Castiel and Balthazar appeared in front of them.

„Ten on the outside area and seven inside and -" Castiel stopped as a bright light flared up inside the convent where the church used to be.

Dean laid his hand on Castiels shoulder. „We need to hurry." He caught the looks of the others. „Take us there."

* * *

The gleaming light faded and finally disappeared completely. Showing some kind of – part wooden, part iron – dentist's chair, to wich Sam was restrained with broad leather ribbons. Holding his limbs, forehead, feet and torso in place, so that he wasn't able to move. Not even a little bit. The ribbons had mellow engravings on them which were blocking Sams abilities … _so no escape from where he was now either._

The angel – _the specialist_ – stood in front of the altar, his back towards Sam and worked on something before he turned around again. A syringe in his hands, filled with dark red liquid.

„Almost done, Sam", the dark skinned angel reassured him.

Sam was panting and struggling against the ribbons that held him down. „No", he breathed, sweat building on his exposed skin. „No ... don't.", his voice unsteady and filled with despair. Not because of what would happen to him in the end - or his soul. Fear of what could happen to the world out there when Lucifer would be able to return to heaven.

The angel injected the liquid into a vein in Sams right forearm. His face emotionless and cold.

„I am sorry that it had to be that way. You won't make it thru this." Brown angel-eyes fixing him as Sams hazel-orbs widened and morphed into a gleaming bright-blue-white. His body screamed in agony and tried to arch up against the restrains, as the light flooded from him, into the room and lightened the moon-bright night outside.

The light faded again and Sams orbs morphed back to normal. He took a deep breath to get much needed oxygen back into his lungs.

The angel with the syringe nodded towards the brown-eyed angel. He smiled satisfied in respond. „Well, we shouldn't waste time, Elohim".

The angel with the syringe took two brass bowls from the altar and placed them under Sams wrists on the floor, while the dark-skinned one went around the chair towards the altar and picked up a brass knife.

„You won't feel a single thing. - This will take its time, Son. But i promise it won't hurt to die. Except when i cut you. That _may_ sting a little bit." He walked over to Sam, and Elohim stepped aside to make more space.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut, as the blade digged into the sensitive flesh of his right forearm and drew a deep gash from his elbow to his wrist. Blood started to flow slowly and steady from his wound. Making its way over pale skin, brown ribbons and silver iron to finally drop in a free fall and land in the brass-bowl beneath.

Sams heart raced in a steady rhythm, his breathing frantic and uneven until the loss of blood started to show the first signs of exhaustion. He stared on the ceiling and tried to concentrate on the colorful paintings. They showed paradise. _Garden Eden._ **Heaven**. That was where he was supposed to go – hopefully. Where he'd see _Dean_ again … and Bobby and with a little bit of luck … his Family. Dizziness claimed him, the room started to spin already as another burning sensation spread from his left elbow down to his wrist and he felt warm liquid oozing down his skin and Sam heard the first drop of blood hitting metal.

He decided not to fight it. Not this time. There'd be no way to break out, get free and flee … he was there to die, and maybe this was his _destiny_. Maybe this was what he was born for.

* * *

They had slaughtered all of them. All who were patrolling around the convent – fast and in silence. They banned their way thru a giant hall, wide corridors and had the luck to meet a couple of angels on their way to the church. But finally …. They stood in front of a double winged door.

Dean sought the look of his fellows, took in a deep breath and nodded towards them as an evil smile spread across his lips, while his eyes remained dark and cold-blooded.

With a loud creak both wings of the door flew open and the four of them stood in the middle of the archway.

The dark skinned angel had just ended the verse of a spell in enochian, his arms still raised into the skies above as thunder growled.

„Too late.", he said calmly and turned around. „It's done. - No one can stop it now."

Deans gaze flew towards the chair – towards _Sam_. The younger mans eyes were closed, his head held by the leather-ribbon over his forehead, still blood oozing from his wounds … and he was pale … pale as death himself. With a bloodcurdling cry the hunter tightened the grip around the angel-blade in his hand and preached forward, focusing on the angel.

The two angels – that were supposed to ward the doors – attacked Balthazar and Cas, while Bobby went after Elohim – the specialist.

It was a relentless battle. Dean was fast, but the angel was faster, stronger and more powerful. After Dean had given him a clean cut over his bicep, the angel flung the young hunter backwards, past the benches, to the archway from where they had entered the room.

Dean panted. His head throbbed from the hard impact on the wooden floor and his vision went blurry and unfocused for a moment. He didn't have time for this right now. He had to get to _Sam_. _Sam_ who was bleeding to death virtually in front of him. He hurried to get back on his feed, adrenaline pumping thru his veins, his muscles, his rabid racing mind. The hunter fixed the angel with his gaze and saw as he skipped the two bowls with a simple wink of his hand. The blood spread across the floor, covering the biggest part of the sigil beneath it, while the angel looked at Dean with a winning smile.

„Se Dissolvant Circumstantice Falsa!" The dark skinned angel stared into Deans glistening dark-green eyes and let his own angel-blade slide out of his sleeve. Dean burst out into a run, death in his eyes, fixed on nothing but the angel who dared to touch _the love_ of his life. The angel blocked the first few attacks before he made a fatal mistake … Dean grabbed the angels wrist and twisted his arm around in a fast motion. In the same moment the hunter drove his angel-blade into the hosts heart. White-blue light reflected in the hunters eyes as the angel died on his hand and dropped boneless to the floor, into the sigil and _Sams blood_.

Dean dropped his blood stained angel-blade in disbelieve. He had killed an angel – his first angel … His gaze fell immediately on Sam. _His Loves_ nearly white skin, the lack of breathing.

A desperate „ _no no no no_ " carried on every single panted exhale as he stood beside _his_ restrained _Sam_.

„Sam?", he whispered. Dean didn't bother to look for a pulse, he just knew he was alive. He had to.

„Sam, hold on.", he muttered and started to unstrap the leather-ribbons on Sams wrists. Then he unbuckled his belt and slung it around Sams left bicep, puckering it as strong as possible. His glance shot to the altar in a fury and fixed some kind of cord. He used the cord to put on a tourniquet on Sams other bicep to stop the blood flow.

„Sam?", he asked, his voice unstable and shaky, as he looked for a pulse with shaky hands. - _too weak too slow_. „Sammy?", he asked again. „I'll get you out of that thing. We're going home."

Dean tried to steady his hands as he unstrapped the rest of the ribbons that held Sam down.

First it felt like soft vibrations … almost unnoticeable … but then the vibrations grew into eruptions. The earth erupted under the convent in waves, as the sigil underneath the chair started to smoulder in a deep red and vaporized in a shiny orange-yellow until there was nothing else left than a burnt mark on the wooden floor.

Now the same sigil flared up on the top of the archway. As it was completely vaporized and was nothing more than a black burnt mark on the door frame, one to the left and one to the right side of the sigil started to gleam. Different sigils appeared and vaporized, one by one towards the ground.

Everyone had stopped to fight and was watching the spectacle.

„Shit.", Dean watched shocked as one sigil after another vaporized. „We gotta get outta here!". He gathered Sam in his arms and was ready to pick him up, as the air condition changed. The air in the archway started to vibrate, to revel and the corridor started to get blurry – like the archway was becoming a barrier. The air seemed to get thicker and warmer with every second that passed.

„Holy mother of hell.", Bobby stuttered, his gaze fixed on the doorway, as he backed off.

Dean glanced to his right side, where big windows lined up the wall. Then he examined the room for another possibility to escape – **No One.** Castiel and Balthazar stepped back and joined both hunters in front of the altar, while the other three angels were fixed on the gate and the current happenings.

„We'll bring you out of here." Castiel said and put his hand on Deans shoulder, who was holding on the young man in his arms.

Balthazar laid his hand on Bobby's shoulder and both angels closed their eyes for a few brief seconds. - Just to open the again to see that they were remaining at the same place.

„What?", Dean asked in disbelieve. „ _no no no_ … c'mon now. - What the hell is going on here?"

All their looks traveled back at the gate just to see that there was one sigil on either side of the door frame left. Dean looked down on Sam and brushed one of his sweat soaked bangs from his forehead, feeling the coldness of his skin against his fingertips.

„I'm sorry, Sammy." Dean was on the verge of tears as he laid his hand on Sams pale cheek and rubbed his jaw with the thumb. „I promised i'd protect you. I promissed and i let you down." That was when he recognized a slight movement under Sams eyelids. Then slowly, real slowly his eyes fluttered open on half-mast. Tired hazel-orbs tried to focus on on the face above him.

„Sammy?", Dean swallowed down a sob, as a shallow exhale came as respond. „Look at me, kiddo.", he said in a soft plea.

Sams eyes teared up and a single tear drop made its way over his cheek.

„It's OK, i found you Sam. I found you.". A second tear joined the first one on her way as his lips moved, but his vocal cords wouldn't work. „ _Shshsh_ ", Dean tried to sooth him while he whipped away _his loves_ tears gently.

When the last sigil burnt up, black and gray smoke started to fill the corridor behind the vibrating barrier. The walls of the corridor caught fire. And then a man-shaped silhouette loomed out of the smoke and flames, walking towards the barrier, surrounded by morphing shadows.

„What the hell?", Bobby asked breathless, not able to look away.

„Lucy's comming home.", Balthazar cocked his head to the side and his left eyebrow rose as he let out a low whistle. „He always knew how to start a show.", he added with admiring looks.

Castiel shot him a punishing glance.

Dean didn't care. Not about Lucifer. Not about the end of the world, not about death himself. Everything that mattered was right in front of him, in his arms. **Sam**. He didn't look up, just fixed Sam and his emerald-green hazel-orbs as he tried to talk again. „You know, if we make it out here alive, i'll get you as much blueberries for your pancakes as you want to. You hear me?" he asked, his voice calm carrying a small smile on his lips. Sam tried to respond with a smile but failed miserably.

Dean brushed his thumb softly along Sams tender lips and settled a gentle kiss on them. „You gotta do something for me, Sammy?", Dean asked in a low whisper. The wounded man blinked once. „You've to hang on, OK?" You gotta hang on for me. We'll get you outta here. You've to stay awake for me, will you?" Sam blinked again, fear and panic in his eyes.

Dean took a deep breath and let go of _his love_. He looked up to see the shape narrowing slowly towards the barricade, as he went around the chair and picked up his angel-blade. He placed himself in front of Sam, shielding him from whatever would come thru the gate.

„That's like you try to stab a bear with a toothpick, mud monkey." Balthazar stated with a sigh, obviously bathing in boredom.

Dean didn't react. He focused on the silhouette. The very next moment the human looking form stepped thru the barrier, showing his face and true form. A beautiful man, in his forty's with short blonde hair and eyes like liquid ice-blue crystals. He wore a black suit and shirt. Besides his breathtaking arrival he wore a casual smile, the expression in his blue orbs was warm and gentle as he would never be able to harm any kind of gods creations – besides he was Lucifer, king of hell and torturer of souls.

His smile faded as his look fell towards the angels on his right side. Then he glanced at Elohim, Balthazar and Castiel. His features hardened and his eyes turned into dangerous looking icicles.

Dean steeled himself as Lucifer lifted his left and snapped with his fingers ….

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 17 ~ Gates of Hell**

The first thing he smelled was sulfur. He tasted sulfur. Then an intensive scent of burnt flesh and rotten meat. Sam he felt a hand on his shoulder. A gentle touch … _Dean_. But could it be?

He turned his head with the little strength he had left. Towards the touch and the radiating heat to his right. He _recognized_ Dean on his side, shielding him, feeling the tension that lingered in the air.

His vision was blurry and swaying. Though he tried to focus on the form - a couple of yards away - from what Dean was trying to protect him from.

A man. A blonde tall man in a black suit. A shiver ran down Sams spine. And then the man snapped with his fingers and all angels in the room were gone instantly. Their presence no longer perceptible, as the door to the gate slammed shut.

Lucifer watched both hunters and the man on the chair – his saviour – the one who sacrificed himself – **no** – the one who got sacrificed - to free him. He frowned lightly as he took in Sams features and then the bearded mans, as Bobby took a step towards the chair, holding his angel-blade visibly before him.

His look went to the man who was shielding the younger one, obviously ready to fight until the very end. But Lucifer didn't want to fight. He didn't want to fight _THEM_. Not yet. Not now.

Deans grip around the blade tightened as the devil took a step forward. Whatever would happen. He wouldn't give up. _He'd go down fighting._

Sam blinked to refocus on the blonde man. He was beautiful and looked so pure and clean. Then he took in the devils appearance as a whole and the shadowy white wings blazing and glowing as they caught little flames here and there that suffocated just moments afterwards in the hot air. Little clouds of smoke rose from them. He didn't look a lot different as the other angels had. Except his wings and the silver-gray aura that surrounded him. - _It had to be Lucifer._

The devil made another two steps towards Dean before he stopped in front of the dark-skinned corpse at his feet. He looked down and took in his dead brothers host and the sigil that was burnt into the ground. Lucifer's gaze went up on the younger hunter and caught his. _Was that sorrow in those unbelievable ice-blue orbs?_

Dean fixed the devil with his _don't-you-dare-and-come-closer-look_. The grip on Sams shoulder tightened for a second, showing him that he was still there – was still with him, _protecting him_.

Then Lucifer raised both hands, showing his empty palms and backed off in an apologizing gesture.

Sam saw the wings catching fire, turning into blaze and ashes before Lucifer himself morphed into grey and silver mist, vanishing with an almost unrecognisable flapping sound of wings - leaving nothing but fine silver-grey dust in the air behind.

Dean took in a deep breath, still standing frozen in front of the chair, staring at the emptiness of the room in disbelieve. _They were alive_ … at least he, Bobby and Sam. So he hoped his both angel-friends were. Dean threw a look over his left shoulder towards the older hunter.

„Lets get out of here, Bobby.", he murmured and looked down at Sam, whose eyes were closed again.

Bobby glanced at the archway and the shut door for a moment. „I'll get the car. You get Sam to the front door." He swallowed and headed hesitantly towards the door. Bobby laid his hand on the door handle and threw an incredulously gaze at Dean before he made use of it and opened the door slowly.

The gate was gone, so was the smoke and fire and the corridor remained untouched. He nodded towards his friend and sucked in a deep breath before he opened it completely.

„I'll be right back at the entrance with the Impala.", with these words Bobby broke into a run.

Dean laid a hand on Sams bare chest, feeling the slow and shallow breathing beneath it. He closed his eyes for a brief second, reassuring himself that Sam was still _alive_ – barely but alive.

The hunter slipped out of his jacked and covered the younger mans front with it, before he positioned the wounded arms across Sams stomach and slipped his arm under the boneless body below him. He lifted him as gentle as possible, taking care that his lower arms didn't slip off the hold. Sams head lolled into Deans shoulder and the hunter grunted as the younger mans weight tore on his muscles.

„I got you Sammy.", he muttered strained, as he took the first few steps towards the archway. Aware of the possibility, that the gate could open again, or that the door could probably slam shut in front of his nose … but nothing happened. Everything was calm, just the wind moaned and howled thru the trees that surrounded the convent.

It took Dean about the twice as long - as ut usually would have - to make his way through endless corridors, across the hall and to the entrance as he heard the roar of the arriving Impala.

Dean tightened his grip on Sam and shifted him carefully in his arms. He looked down on him, taking in the motionless features of _his loves_ face. „You gotta stay with me – you promised.", he whispered gently. „I found you – now it's your turn to hold on, Sam."

One of the wings of the entrance-door opened and a rain-soaked Bobby stepped in, a blanket in his hands.

„Gotta hurry.", the older hunter called out and with two long strides he was beside the younger hunter, throwing the blanket over his shoulders and around Sams body. „A damn storm's rising, Boy. - And we stuck right in the middle of it.", he grunted and shot Dean a sad look, before he led them outside.

Thunder and lightning burst thru the heavens and lightened the skies above them, as the relentless rain dashed down on on earth.

As they arrived the Impala, Bobby opened the back-door on the passengers side and hurried around the car to open the one on the other side, where he climbed in.

Dean lowered the man in his arms down and guided him onto the backseat. Bobby took Sams shoulder and pulled him into a lying position, while Dean ran around the car and waited for Bobby to get out and claim his place on Sams side.

The older hunter settled in the drivers seat and waited for Dean to get in the car. He slammed the door shut, after he had laid Sams head in his lab. „ _Go go go!_ ", he called out and Bobby pulled Deans baby away from the convent.

Strong rain and fierce wind turned their way back to the motel into a slow and torturing drive. Unable to see further than two yards ahead on the street and a dying man on the backseat haven't been Bobby's imaginations about how to get away from the convent. Sam injured … yes … Sam dying … definitely not.

Dean pulled the blanket from his shoulders and threw it over Sam. He brushed over the younger mans forehead and soft skin of his cheeks. „You're going to be OK, Sammy." He rested one hand on Sams neck, two of his fingers pressed against his carotid artery.

„How's he holding up?", Bobby asked skipping the switch for the wipers upwards.

„We've to get him to the motel", Dean answered quietly. „Hopefully Jim's already there."

Endless forty-five minutes until they pulled into the parking lot and five more until Sam was settled on the furthest of beds. Then everything continued in fast motions, like the professionals they were. Bobby set an IV on Sams neck, while Dean prepared the first bottle with banked blood and a first aid kit including his sewing kit. While Dean hooked him up on a blood bottle, Bobby cleaned Sams forearms, as a knock on the door rang.

Both hunters looked at each other, hoping it was the one person they were waiting for so desperately. No one of them would've been able to tell how much damage these gashes had caused, not without someone who knew how to deal with injuries like this. _A doctor._ And the one person among their friends who came closest to something like a doctor was JIM, Pastor Jim.

Bobby hurried towards the door and opened it wide.

„I'm sorry, the weather – it took me forever to get here.", a man in his late fifty's wearing a priests robe entered uninvited.

Bobby's and Deans eyes lit up in relief. „We thought you won't make it here in time …", Dean put on a wrecked smile, and guided the priests look at Sam.

Pastor Jim followed his gaze onto the bed and his eyes went wide as he saw the - in blood covered - young man, and the long gashes on his forearms. He hurried beside the bed and placed his medical case on the nightstand beside the bed. „You prepaired everything?", he asked low, his gaze not leaving the deep cuts.

Dean nodded. „Yeah, we have. - Everything but medications ...", he answered and shot a glance at the already half empty blood-bottle hanging from a coathook on the wall, where a picture had hung before.

„OK, i guess we should get started – how long?", he asked and shared a look with Bobby and Dean.

„I can't tell for sure … about one and a half hour i guess?", Bobby answered fast, „Dean eased the tourniquet about every twenty minutes since we have him back."

Pastor Jim nodded with a pensive expression on his face and started to examine the wounds. The tourniquet was fastened enough, so that just less blood seeped out of the wounds. Though it had already been too long, so probably no one would be able to tell if there'd be remaining consequences. He dug in his own medical kit and pulled out a pair of glasses with small magnifiers. Then he stared to work on Sams injuries. Slowly but surely and with assistance of both of the hunters.

Dean sat down on the other side of the bed, one hand on Sams shoulder and rubbed circles into his cold skin.

It took the Pastor an hour until Sams forearms were stitched up, bandaged and a new blood-bottle hang from the coathook and connected to the vein catheter in Sams neck.

„OK, we've to check on his vitals every thirty minutes.", he told them and looked up into the questioning eyes of the hunters. „And i can't tell you if he'll be able to get thru it. - He lost a giant amount of blood and he looks dehydrated."

Dean swallowed hard and squeezed Sams shoulder gently. Tears stung in his eyes and he felt more than just useless at the moment. What was he supposed to do if Sam died? How would he be able to go on without him? Now that the young man had become his entire life?

„When the blood bottle is empty we'll get him on saline, try and get as much fluid into his system as possible without crashing it. -", he said low and walked towards the table, where he sat down and let out a low moan. „I'll stay here with you guys. - Guess that'll be safer."

Dean nodded and slipped with his hand under the covers, where he wrapped his hand around Sams and tightened his grip slightly. _No … he wouldn't lose him._

Bobby frowned, as he watched the half-broken Winchester sitting on the bed, trying not to loose it right in front of everyone. He tore his gaze away and walked over to his duffel-bag, digging a sealed whiskey-bottle out and placed it audibly on the table in front of Pastor Jim. „Guess we all deserve a slug."

The pastor watched Dean for a while before he turned his look towards the alcohol and then at Bobby, shooting him a pensive look across the table.

„Dean?", the older hunter asked quietly and unscrewed the bottle.

Tired emerald-eyes met his. „No thanks.", he muttered and looked back down at Sams face.

„Maybe you should catch some sleep – must've been a hell of a night for ya'll.", The pastor started, trying to read Deans features. „Since i'm going to stay here i'll take the first round to watch out for him. Meanwhile you two rest. - And then it's up to you both who'll take the next turn. - But please don't fight about it, i've stitched up enough for one day." He tried to smile, but failed miserably.

Dean shook his head, without taking his look from Sam. „I can't. - I promised i'll watch out for him."

Bobby sighed. „Son – Jim's right. - It doesn't help either of us if we're passing out because we're to tired to keep our eyes open." He eyed Dean for a moment, reading him like an open book. „Imagine you're gonna fall asleep while you should've taken his vitals … just to find him lying beside you - _DEAD_." Ok, the older hunter might was a little bit drastic … but obviously it seemed to work.

Deans head shot up and stared at Bobby in disbelieve and shock. „You're right. - We should take shifts.", he said quietly after a while. He knew they were right. His head told him that they were right … but he just couldn't. His heart told him otherwise. And though his heart had to obey this time. He gave them a short nod and withdrew from Sams hand. He walked over to the other bed and stretch out on it. Relaxing his aching muscles and throbbing mind. „But you're gonna wake me, if something changes, hu?"

Bobby nodded. „Sure thing, Son."

It didn't last long until Dean dozed off and Bobby and Jim shared about a quarter of the whiskey in the bottle before Bobby went over to the other room that he had booked for himself when they had arrived.

* * *

Dean stirred and rolled over on his back. First he didn't recognize what had woken him, until he heard it again and his eyes snapped open. He turned towards the other bed and in one fast motion he was out of his own and on Sams side, as his hunter instincts kicked in.

Another silent moan came over Sams lips.

„ _Sammy_?", Dean asked with a flicker of hope in his eyes. He sat down on the bed and laid his hand on _his loves_ forehead.

„He's running a slight fever.", Jim's voice was heard behind him. The Pastor walked around the bed with a cup of steaming hot coffee in his hands and sat on the chair on the other side of it. „It's a reaction to the blood.", he added.

Dean nodded and watched him concerned. „But he's doing better?" Dean took in Sams face and it looked like he finally gained some color back. Though his breathing seemed still pretty shallow.

„At the moment it looks that way. - We've to treat him with antibiotics as soon as possible. - I thought we'll start them by tomorrow morning. Otherwise the wounds will get infected.", Jim explained matter-of-factly.

Dean nodded again, not looking away from Sam.

Jim smiled softly and let out a half-loud ahem. „You know … it wouldn't hurt Sam if you'd lay beside him ..." The mans smile widened into a broad grin.

Deans head snapped up and he watched Jim in shock.

„Oh, c'mon … You gotta be blind not to recognize it." He chuckled and shook his head with flushed cheeks. „Go ahead. - I think it's gonna help him."

Dean smiled and looked down on the blanket. „Maybe we should take him to a hospital, Jim … i mean … you know ..."

Jim glanced to the window and Dean followed his look. There was rain bashing against the windows like crazy and the wind moaned and blew like he wanted to burst the motel down. „No way in hell we'd make it to the hospital. - Not with Sam in his condition. And no way in hell an ambulance would get here in time. - Most roads are closed already." The pastor tipped his head aside towards the small radio on the table. „It's like the damn freaking apocalypse." He smiled.

Dean looked at him seriously. „Maybe not the apocalypse. - But i guess that's the way things go when Lucifer walks the earth ..."

Jim's face fell and he looked shocked at the young man. „Do i wanna know?"

Dean chuckled and shook his head. „Later, OK? - we can't change it right now anyways.", he answered quietly and stretched over the comforter on Sams side, laying one arm across his stomach and inching closer to place a soft kiss his forehead.

„Pancakes, Sammy. Pancakes and blueberries and chocolate sauce and whip cream … and even more blueberries.", he whispered gently into the younger mans ear and rested his head on Sams pillow.

* * *

Dean lay awake the whole time until it was his turn to start the shift. He stayed with Sam on the bed, talking to him whenever he started to moan or his face furrowed or tightened in pain. He had him cleaned up with a bowl of warm water and a couple of wash clothes and dressed him into fresh pyjama-bottoms. Everything nice and slow and gentle, like he was made of glass.

The fever carried on during the night. His vitals still low but getting better with every hour that passed. Dean thought he couldn't be happier right now … except when Sam would finally wake up. Some time during the night as the heater, electricity and the radio station failed, Dean had slipped under the covers to share much needed body-warmth with Sam. _And it felt good._ Good to be able and stay close to the one he loved. Amazed to feel his warm body against his, because it meant that Sam was alive. That Sam was with him now. And Dean knew he would never let him go again.

Everything around them could have´broken down and Dean would've been the happiest being in the entire universe.

„ _You found me_ " … was the first thing the hunter heard.

„Dean startled and opened his eyes, as hazy green hazel-orbs stared at him. Dean smiled gently and laid his hand on Sams jaw. „Of course i did.", he answered and placed a gentle kiss on Sams dry lips.

„I thought you're dead." Sams voice was hoarse and silent, less than a whisper. His eyes caught tears and a low sob escaped his throat. „ _They showed me …_ " He tried to take a deeper breath but somehow it wouldn't work.

„Sh sh sh … it's ok, Sammy.", Dean reassured him quietly and brushed his thumb over Sams lips. „Try to relax. - We can talk about it when you're better. - Try to sleep a little bit longer."

Sam closed his eyes and tried to roll to his side and failed. He felt too weak to even move a toe. Dean knew in an instant, what the younger man tried to do and shot a glance at the saline-bottle on the cloathhook. After the last few drops had disappeared, he removed it from the vein catheter, closed it and gathered Sam into his arms, helping him to turn to his side and lean into the hunters chest.

Sam shivered slightly in the hunters arms. Though he felt unnaturally warm. „You cold?", Dean asked low and waited for a respond. The younger man rubbed his nose on the hunters chest and nodded. „Yeah."

„You're running a fever.", Dean frowned and his face tightened into a concerned expression. He started to caress Sams back – not sure if he tried to sooth Sam or himself right now.

„Don't stop.", the younger man murmured as Dean led his fingers to his neck and felt for the pulse.

He chuckled and went back to caress Sams back after he felt a stronger and more regular thump under his fingers as he had hours before. „I won't."

* * *

Dean woke as Sam went rigid in his arms. A moment later the hunter heard the motel-room-door slide into the lock and heavy footfalls on the floor.

Dean cocked his head up and looked to the door. „Hey Jim.", he murmured hoarse.

Sam opened his eyes and looked up as Dean tightened his grip around him.

„How's our patient doing?", Pastor Jim slipped out of his wet coat and straightened his robe.

„Better.", the young hunter answered with a smile and looked down at him. „What do they say about the heater?"

Jim sighed. „ _No_ electricity. _No_ heater. _No_ nothing. It's hell out there. _Pure Chaos_.", and went to Sams side, sitting down on the edge of the bed and checked the young man over with examining looks.

The hunter unwrapped Sam of his arms and covers and helped him to turn onto his back. Sam looked at the priest, taking in his lined face and gestures and his soft smile.

„Yeah, looks better – What about the fever?" He got on asking.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed with his fingers over it. „Ain't goin' down." The hunters voice still husky from sleep.

„I'm good.", Sam spoke weak and tried to smile.

The pastor laid his fingertips on Sams neck and rested them there for a while. „Well – better but still not as good as i wished."

Sam frowned and tried to lift his left arm as a tearing pain cut thru it.

„Don't." Dean shifted his arm across Sams stomach and laid his hand on his bandaged arm. „Keep them down. Don't move them."

„Hurts a lot?", the pastor asked, his smile slowly vanishing.

Sam shook his head. „No."

„OK, morphine and antibiotics.", the pastor put on a maddish smile.

Dean chuckled as Sam moved a startled gaze from the pastor towards a smiling Dean. The younger man returned the hunters smile and looked back at the pastor again.

„Thank you.", Sam mumbled.

„Don't mention it." Jim added a sigh.

Sam looked back at Dean and frowned in concerned. „Lucifer?"

Deans face fell and Jim turned pale. „We haven't got time to talk about it yet. First shower and breakfast and gettin' Bobby, then we'll think about the rest." Dean brushed a chestnut-brown bang out of Sams face and kissed him gently, inhaling Sams scent in deep – _he was alive._

Sam nodded.

„Pastor Jim'll get you another saline-bottle and stuff – you both can talk a little until i'm ready and have called Bobby." Dean smiled reassuring.

Sam nodded again and returned a short kiss. „Can i get a shower too? …. later? - I feel filthy."

Dean grinned and shared a look with the pastor.

„A bath'd be better. But we've no warm water … so … you both might wanna wait with that."

„Awwww, c'mon." Dean snarled „I hate that shit."

Pastor Jim grinned. „I'm not smelling like violets either."

„Well then … i'll pick up Bobby and will try to get breakfast from somewhere." Dean said frustrated and looked into Sams hazel-orbs. „Guess your pancakes have to wait."

Sam breathed audible in and out and smiled weak. „It's OK. - i don't think we'll get pancakes during the end of the world."

* * *

As Dean returned, Sam was hooked on a new bag of saline, his look dazed and his eyes dopey. The hunter looked over at Jim, who sat in one of the chairs by the table and sorted his vials back into a small bag.

„Bobby tries to get us something to eat – schould be back soon." He stared holes in Jim's head, until he turned around and shot him a questioning look.

He nodded knowing. „Loopy.", he said low.

Dean walked over to Sams bed and sat down. „You doing OK?"

Sam nodded. „Better.", carried away on a deep breath as he exhaled deeply. „Stormy?"

Dean nodded. „Yeah – looks like armageddon outside."

„Because of me." Sam closed his eyes.

„Becauseof the angels.", Dean corrected him, his eyebrows furrowing.

„I stink." Sam stated.

„No shit Sherlock – lets stink together, shall we?", the hunter smiled cheeky and tabbed on Sams shoulder.

Sam responded with a smile, but it disappeared a moment later again. „Lucifer's in heaven."

Dean shook his head. „Not now Sammy. - Just rest. We'll talk later."

„We've to stop him." Sam added.

„Sam." Deans voice turned harsh. „Don't."

… _... and then there was silence._

Half an hour later Bobby came with two paper-bags and blankets in his hands. He snarled and took his rain-soaked coat and cap off. „Got something for ya.", Bobby smiled as he looked at Sam and tossed the blankets on the footboard of the bed, putting the bags down and walking over to him. He spread both blankets over Sam and smiled satisfied.

„Thanks.", Sam smiled dazed and tried to shift a little.

„The storm lessened a little bit." Bobby took a look around the room.

Dean stood up and started to unpack the bags. Soup and chili and goulash in tins. Sandwiches, ham and cheese … and **blueberries**. Deans eyes went wide and bright and a smile appeared on his face, reaching from ear to ear as he looked at Sam.

„First you gotta eat a sandwich – Then you'll get these." Dean lifted the small plastic bag with the blueberries.

„Dean.", Sam exhaled softly. „Can't."

„You'll have to, son.", Bobby looked at him serious. „If you wanna get back on your feet ..."

„When can we go home?", Sam asked, sadness filled his eyes.

Dean cleared his throat. „As soon as you're up to it and the storm lessened further." He picked up a sandwich and the blueberries and returned to Sams side. „You wanna have these?", he asked with naughty grin.

Sam nodded.

„They you FIRST have to get a half of one of these down.", he lifted the sandwiches. Bobby tossed a coke towards Dean and he caught it without looking.

„It's not over.", Sam muttered his eyes heavy with sorrow.

Dean closed his eyes for a brief second. „I know."

Sam made it half thru a sandwich and the whole cup of blueberries. Dean helped him, fed him and let him have something to drink and paused now and then to let him catch a breath. When they were done, Sam was exhausted … and his bladder cried for release.

They made it to the bathroom together. Dean half dragged, half carried him and helped him, wherever Sam was embarrassed or not. There was nothing the hunter hadn't seen yet … though … it was pretty different when you needed someone to go pee and support you so you won't fall over.

As they had made it back to the bed, Dean settled him back under the covers and shoved a couple of pillows against the headboard, so that Sam was able to sit up for a little while.

„It's not over.", Sam said again as he leaned back into the pillows and looked into Deans bright emerald-green eyes. „It's just beginning."

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 18 ~ Oh Death**

Two days had passed and the weather had calmed down. Electricity was working again and the streets were back to normal. Whatever had done happened, it had found an end.

 _Just Sam_ …. Sam was still running a fever and Jim wasn't able to tell what caused it.

They had talked and discussed about what had happened in the convent and Jim was more than shocked by what Sam had told them.

Dean sat beside the young man the whole time, an arm around his shoulders and a hand on his lower leg while he told them what he remembered.

„So … Lucifer doesn't just walk the earth. He's able to get into heaven? … like _heaven_ **haven**?", the pastor asked in disbelieve. Sam nodded and let his head drop back on the pillows, exhausted and loopy from the pain meds. Jim frowned as he watched Sam in concern. „Ain't sound good."

„I'm so sorry – i couldn't stop it." Sam muttered frowning. „Now everything's going down."

Dean sighed. He knew Sam was giving himself hell for letting it happen. For being part of the ritual that set Lucifer free, for not being able to prevent it somehow. Sam would've gave everything to stop it, he knew that – but it didn't reach out for the man in his arms.

„Yeah, like you would've been able to stop it, Sam. - There was no way for you to get a hold of one of the angels and smite their asses. - And you know that." Dean replied snappy and frowned at the younger man.

Sam didn't look at him. He didn't want to hear that. - There would've been a way, for sure … if just … nevermind … He sighed and turned away from Dean, shifting his body with great effort to the side. The hunter didn't try to stop him, but he turned with him and wrapped his free arm around Sams waist.

„Mind giving us some alone-time?", Dean asked and shot Jim and Bobby a look.

Both men nodded. „Anything happens you call us, boys – are we clear?", the older hunter asked firmly.

Dean nodded and waited until he heard the door open and closing again, before he buried his fingers in Sams hair and ran them through it. The hunter ran his fingers down over Sams neck and bare back between his shoulder-blades, sending a tickling feeling down Sams spine. The hunter tracked his fingers over the young mans scars, down to his side and guided his fingertip towards his stomach.

„Don't say it again.", Sam pleaded whispering. „I don't wanna hear that it's not my fault. - It just makes me feel worse."

Dean exhaled a warm deep breath over the sensitive skin on the mans neck and closed his eyes for a brief second. He started to run his fingertip around the edges of Sams navel and kissed his shoulder.

„Only if you won't start talking about it again out loud." he smiled and placed another kiss on Sams shoulder as he leaned into him.

Sam smiled, unseen by him. He loved it, when Dean was gently with him, enjoying every single touch as it could be the last one. „Deal.", he breathed out and closed his eyes with a low moan of wellbeing.

* * *

The fever didn't break, though his wounds looked bland and clean but his weakness was concerning. Jim stayed with Sam and the hunters. If necessary he would go with them to Sioux Falls to have a watch over Sam.

* * *

Dean placed two paper bags on the hood of the Impala and slammed the door shut. He inhaled deeply as he picked up the bags and sucked in the smell of , as it entered his nose. The hunter smiled happily as he walked towards their room. He turned the key and entered, shut the door and froze instantly, as he recognized a figure sitting on Sams bed out of the corners of his right eye.

„You shouldn't have left him alone – he's running a fever and it's raising.", a familiar voice said calmly.

Dean swallowed hard, let the bags slip out of his hands and on the floor before he turned towards the bed slowly.

Lucifer – he sat on the edge of the bed, with his back towards Dean, facing a sleeping Sam.

Deans jaw clenched at the sight and his lips formed into a hard line, while his hand went towards his belt, gripping the baretta tightly.

„Don't. - You know you can't shoot the devil.", Lucifer shot a glance over his shoulder.

„back off", Dean hissed threatening, as his look examined the room for Bobby, who had stayed with Sam.

The older hunter sat slammed into a chair on the other side of Sams bed, a shotgun in his hands and looked like he was fast asleep.

„Don't worry. - I let him slip into a deep nap. - I'm not here to hurt you … or your friends … or Sam." He sighed and stroke one of Sams sweat-soaked strand of hair aside. „By the way … the two angel-friends of yours – They're well … just a little bit impeded at the moment."

„Don't touch him." Dean draw the baretta, his finger on the trigger.

„I won't hurt him, Dean.", Lucifer blew out a deep pensive sigh. „He's sick."

„No shit Sherlock", Dean released the safety catch on his gun.

„But not because of the blood your _holy man_ gave him." Lucifer ignored dean threatening acting. „He's sick because no human body is meant to carry demon- and angel-blood in it. - He's going to die. No matter how hard he tries to fight it." Lucifer turned around and stood up, giving the young man on the bed a sorrowful look. Then he bowed down over him and kissed Sams forehead gently, while Dean stood there in shock and watched, not daring to piss the devil off.

„I came because i had a gift for the both of you." Lucy faced the hunter, as Dean snarled, and put on a sad smile. „But i won't take the blood away from him. - The day will come when he'll need his abilities …. and _YOU_. He'll need _someone_ who stands by his side … and leads him thru the darkest valleys of his life … soon." The blonde man took a step towards Dean. „ **Things will change.** Heaven and Hell will change. The world will change." Lucifer cocked his head to the side.

„What is this supposed to mean?" Deans voice broken on the edge of despair of what he just got told. Not mentioning the anxiety about Sam as his look went over to _his love_.

„That he'll need someone _who loves him_." Lucifer answered before he disappeared with the fluttering noise of giant and strong wings.

Dean put the safety back on, let the baretta drop and was on Sams side in an instant. „Sammy?", he asked his voice trembling as he touched the mans jaw carefully. He was still pale, but the fever seemed to be gone. There was no heat radiating from the body below him anymore. „Sam?"

The young man moved a bit and took a deep inhale as dazed eyes fluttered open. „'m here.", he responded with a husky voice.

Dean smiled down at him and cupped his face in his hands. „Brought you something."

Bobby stirred and his eyes snapped open. In a fast move he raised his shotgun and was on his feet. „Lucifer", he breathed.

„Gone", Dean stated steady, catching Sams distressed glance at the older hunter. „I got breakfast from the diner around the corner."

Dean wouldn't tell him – not now. He'd tell him when he was ready. When both of them were ready.

Bobby put the shotgun away and watched Dean questioning, while the younger hunter unpacked their breakfast. „Bobby?", Dean asked, his voice trembling.

„Hu?", the older hunter frowned.

„Mind if you go and get Pastor Jim?"

Bobby nodded and went outside hesitating. Whatever just had happened, Dean needed some time to wrap his mind around it.

„What happened?", Sam asked, concern written all over his features.

Dean just smiled at him, as he was the precious thing on the planet. „Later, Sammy" and unpacked a styrofoam-pack, a tube with chocolate sauce and a can with whip cream.

„Blueberry-Pancakes?" Sam asked with a bright smile and even brighter eyes.

**Yeah, definitely worth the drive two cities over.**

The hunter opened the pack, cutting the pancakes in it in little pieces and adding a giant amount of chocolate sauce and whip cream on them. Then he walked over to Sam and stuffed pillows under Sams back and helped him sitting up. Dean got the stryrofoam-pack from the table and two cups of coffee, settled himself beside Sam on the bed and brushed Sams temples in a soft kiss.

„Ready?", Dean asked smiling.

Sam nodded and looked down on his arms, that were settled on his lab. They still hurt like hell, but felt definitely better actually. „I think i'm not hungry." The younger man frowned with a sad look. „Maybe later?"

Dean sighed. „It's not a big thing. - C'mon, we're gonna share, OK?"

Sam looked up at him and smiled sadly. „Yeah … we're sharing."

Dean chuckled "You're gonna share your precious pancakes with me?"

"I'm sharing everything with you." Sam replied in a matter-of-fact-voice and grinned at the hunter in a naughty way.

Bobby and Jim joined them a couple of minutes later, eating slowly their bacon, ham and eggs and coffee, while Dean was feeding Sam, taking every other fork full of sweetness for himself. When they were done, Dean put the plate away and sat back beside Sam, putting an arm around him and Sam snuggled into the hunters shoulder.

… _... to be continued_

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 19 ~ Epilogue OR „As Time Goes By"**

_Christmas Eve, Sioux Falls, South Dakota_

The world was still turnin' … putting the emphasis on _still_.

And everything had happened what Lucifer had told the hunter. **Heaven** had changed. **Hell** had changed. **The** **world** had changed … though she was still spinning around herself and the sun.

Hell had a new Queen.

Heaven had a new Leader.

And the world was about to go down . But not today, not right now.

Right now it was christmas. Right now there weren't angels, nor hunters, nor humans tainted with demon or angel-blood. Right now there were a hand full of friends, enjoying the time they were able to spend together. _Right now they had each other._

* * *

Bobby's self-made eggnog – stretched with the strong stuff – colored Sams cheeks in a smooth reddish. He was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, but Dean wouldn't ever want to change it. Change anything about him and Sam as it was right now. Except the small things like the apocalypse …

They lingered on the couch with Bobby, eggnog on the table in front of them and the christmas-carol playing on TV. There were no decorations or a christmas-tree, but _they had each other_. **Sam** and **Dean** and **Bobby** and **Castiel**.

Castiel sat in the leather-chair, a cup of warm eggnog in one hand and the other one on his knee. Trying to understand how such an unimportant date was able to be so important to humanity – at least a part of humanity. But over all that: Castiel started to understand what family meant. Why humans were holding on events like christmas, easter and other days during the year. It was because they met each other again, no matter how far apart they lived.

Bobby stared at Dean who told him about their hunt they just had finished yesterday, gesturing with one hand into the empty air and the other one around Sams shoulder. Sam leaned casually against the green-eyed hunter, cupping his own mug of eggnog in his hands like he tried to warm his fingers up as stared at the tv.

This was Sams first real christmas … at least that he could remember and there was no way in hell he'd give this life up ever again. No one would ever be able to _TAKE THIS_ from him, to take those memories from him, to take his _FAMILY_ from him. - At least not today, not at this moment.

* * *

Later that night – Sam had fallen asleep and laid curled up on the wasted couch beside Dean. Castiel has been called by Balthazar because of an „angel-problem". Angels didn't quit working on christmas-eve … though he seemed sorry that he had to leave so soon.

„So he's doing good? - Nothin' since that day … you know ...", Bobby asked quietly and nodded towards Sam.

The younger hunter frowned. „No, nothing at all."

Bobby nodded and took a swig from the eggnog, as Dean shot a glance at Sam and bowed towards Bobby, fixing the older mans gaze. „You got them?", he whispered.

Bobby smiled and his eyes brightened. „Picked them up today."

Dean grinned widely. „You're awesome."

„Now?", the older hunter asked, and Dean gave him a short nod as respond.

The older hunter put his mug on the table and moved over to his desk, opening a drawer and detaching a small paper-bag before he went back to his seat. He laid the tiny bag in Deans open palm who stuffed it eagerly into one of the pockets of his jeans, shooting a glance at the still sleeping man beside him. Sam looked so damn peaceful and adorable when he was out for the count.

„And between you both? - Guess hunting together works well?" Bobby asked after a longer silence.

Dean smiled happily. „We're a hell of a team, Bobby. Couldn't be better." He looked at his friend, Deans emerald-green eyes bright and glistening. „We've each others back. I've never thought i'd be able to feel something like this. HAVE something LIKE THIS … with a guy."

Bobby leaned back with a wide grin. „Me neither, boy."

„Sam's the best that ever happened to me Bobby. **Ever**. - No matter what happens – whatever's going to happen in the future. I'm not gonna let him go. I'm not gonna lose him."

„Good." Bobby petted on his own knees and took a deep inhale, not aimed for a chick-flick.-session. „You boys are comin' for lunch tomorrow? Twelve thirty?"

Dean chuckled, understanding the wink. „If we're invited?"

„Idjit – you think i'm gonna cook for myself like this?", he replied – eyebrows furrowing – and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder at the messed up kitchen and five prepared pie-plates on the counter.

Dean smiled as he followed Bobby's gesture with a gaze. „Cherry?"

„Do i look like a housewife?" The older hunter gave back in a grumpy tone. „Of course i did …", he added silently.

The younger one chuckled, every now and then looking at Sam. „You're gettin' old. - It's late. - I think we should head back to the cabin."

„You could stay here … if you both want?", Bobby offered with a hopeful smile on his lips.

Dean shot him a cheeky grin. „If you'd like to listen to all the small sweet noises Sam's makes when-", but he didn't come further as he got stopped by Bobby's hand in the air. „Ok, OK – stop right there. I don't wanna know."

The younger hunter cocked both eyebrows and an i-told-you-so-expression on his face spread across it. „Thougth so." He cleared his throat and looked back at Sam, who was curled up in a tight ball beside him on the couch. - Some things hadn't changed … he still used to curl up from time to time wherever they sat or laid. But it was getting better – it took time to heal and Sam did good.

„ _Sammy_?", Dean said, softly touching the younger mans flank and letting his fingers run down to his hips. „C'mon, it's time."

Sam stirred with a low moan. „Don't", he whimpered.

„Sammy, it's time to go home.", he tried again and frowned.

„No, please.", came a pained reply, of whom the hunter knew wasn't meant as a reply to his words … _nightmares_.

Bobby watched Deans features in concern. „Still nightmares?"

„Sometimes … but not that often anymore … and not that intensive ...", he answered with a deep sigh as he shook his head. „Get up, kiddo.", he said more firmly and tightened his grip on Sams hip.

The younger mans eyes snapped open, his look far away from reality. It took him some time to realize where he was … and when it was. „'fell asleep.", he muttered and struggled to sit up. Sam rubbed his eyes and over his face. „Gonna go home?" Sleepy hazel-eyes met emerald-eyes.

Dean nodded, as he recognized the usual signs after one of these nightmares. The haunted look, the slight shivering, Sams pale face.

„Catch up with you tomorrow, Bobby … and thanks" Sam smiled. „Thank for tonight."

„Hey, that's what i'm here for. - Though i've to mention that your behaviour isn't the best … you slept most of the time, boy.", he said, trying to sound serious but failed miserably. „So – lunch tomorrow, twelve thirty, on the tick."

Dean and Sam said good night to Bobby and headed into the backyard on the small path that would led them to the cabin. Dean had an arm on Sams lower back, guiding his way. „You alright?"

Sam nodded, his look still absent. Dean stopped and took a step before Sam, facing him and cupping his face gently to catch his gaze. Sams eyes looked hollow, tired and full of something Dean wasn't able to put his finger on. But it was always that way after the nightmares and he was already used to it.

„I'm here Dean. Don't worry." Sam smiled sleepy, his voice still hoarse.

The hunter smiled and placed a kiss on Sams tender lips. „Sure?", he asked gently.

Sam smiled and replied with another kiss. „Yeah."

Dean took his hand for the last couple of yards towards the cabin and lead him inside, thru the living-room and into the bedroom, never turning on a light. He guided Sam to their bed, letting him sit on the edge of the end of their bed and kneeled down in front of him between his legs, as he wrapped his arms around the younger male. The hunter laid his ear on Sams chest and listened for while to the calm beating of his strong heart and the comfortable warmth radiating from _his loves_ body. Sam closed his eyes as he put a hand on the hunters back and buried the fingers of his other one in Deans hair, holding him close.

„It's not that bad anymore.", Sam whispered and kissed his hair.

„I know.", Dean muttered and held him tighter. „I just wish i could take these memories from you."

Sam sighed deeply and put his hand on the hunter jaw, guiding his face up. He searched with his lips for Deans soft cushions and brushed over them. Teasing gently before he finally kissed him and their tongues met.

„You do.", Sam breathing.

The older male smiled and moved his lips towards Sams adams apple, nuzzling, nipping and kissing, moving over Sams neck. Dean tugged on his shirt and pulled it off of Sam, tossing it aside. Low silent noises of pleasure leaving Sams lips and throat. The hunter chuckled as he pulled his own shirt off, crawling over him and tugging the younger male gently on the mattress.

„Back.", Dean ordered with a low growl, pushing him further up on the bed until both of them were on it completely.

Sam melted under Deans touch and kisses, forgetting about everything around them, _just letting go_. The hunter pressed his hips against Sams, earning a low moan of arousal for it and intensive soft kiss as respond. The younger man wrapped his arms around the Winchester and rolled on top of him, kissing him again, more intensive this time. But it didn't last long. Dean was the one who wanted to lead tonight, so Sam found himself underneath the hunter again in nothing more than a second. „Nope – let me, Sam.", Dean whispered, softly nibbling his earlobe.

And Sam let him. - _He trusted Dean._ He trusted this hunter with his life. He knew he'd never hurt him, never would punish him – not knowingly. So he let him unbuckle his jeans and stripping them off, letting him kiss and caress his body until Deans lips were swollen and numb, while the hunter tried to free himself from the remaining fabric that clenched on in sweaty skin. They moved together, kissed, teased until they became **ONE** – knowing that it was supposed to be that way, that this was their destiny, their life, their everything.

* * *

They fell asleep in each others arms. Sams head rested on Deans chest, one arm laid around his waist, while Dean had his arms wrapped protectively around the man on top of him. They stayed that way until the next morning, as the late winter-sun shone into the small bedroom.

Dean got woken by Sam as he rubbed his nose against the hunters chest, what caused a blissful smile on his lips.

„Good morning, Sammy." Dean whispered.

The younger male moaned tired and blinked his eyes open, grinning widely. „It's christmas.", he murmured.

„Think so.", Dean agreed and ran his fingers thru Sams soft hair.

Sam guided a hand down on Deans buttock, letting it rest there for a while and squeezed him gently. „Gonna make you breakfast", he said and with this he was out of bed in an instant. „You stay. - And don't look.", he warned with a serious expression on his face.

Dean waited until Sam had left and the door was shut. Then he jumped out of bed, examining the floor for his lost jeans from yesterday night. With a wide smile he grabbed them and stirred in the pockets until he found what he was looking for. The small paper-bag. He already heard clattering sound from the kitchen, as he went back to bed, hiding the bag under his pillow, right beside the knife.

Half an hour later Sam returned with a tablet in his hands. Two plates with scrambled eggs, bacon, coffee, orange juice and waffles. The young man walked over to the bed and placed the tablet in the middle of it, after Dean had slid back to the headboard.

The hunter wanted to grab one of the plates, but Sam patted his hand away. „I got something for you.", Sam whispered shy. „i mean … it's not a big deal … but i thought you might like it … Bobby helped me with it ..."

Deans eyes lit up. „Got something for you too."

Sam looked down, holding a small sachet in his hands. „Breakfast first?"

Dean shook his head and slid his hand under the pillow looking for the tiny bag he had hidden there before. As he found it, he handed it over to Sam and Sam gave his gift to the hunter.

Dean cocked his eyebrows and his eyes brightened in joy, as a golden amulet appeared under twelve layers of paper. A horned, pagan goddess on a leather string. Dean didn't waste time and had it around his neck in an instant. Sam watched him happily. „You like it?"

„Holy shit, Sammy. - I love it!", he answered enthusiastic and nearly skipped the plate as he got on his knees and bowed over to give him an intense kiss. „Now you – open it."

Sam nodded and did as he was told. - Two Dog Tags … one with Sams name, date of birth, address, blood type, and a cell-phone-number. And one with Deans name, address, date of birth, blood type and another cell-phone-number. He grinned widely.

„If we ever get separated on a hunt … or god knows what … we'll find each other again.", Dean explained, as Sam handed one of the dog tags over to him.

Sam smiled from ear to ear and slipped the necklace over his head. „That's awesome, Dean." He grinned and picked up a piece of bacon, holding it towards Dean. „Breakfast now?"

_~ FIN ~_

* * *

**if you liked this story, then PLEASE leave me some bacon, huuu? I'd like to know if you like this „alternative universe AU thing" … it's my motivation for carrying on & making stories up for it :)**

… _... in love_ _bruisedbloodybroken_


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